Sometimes, things get worse before they get better

I could write a chapter on what has happened to Ty in the last 48 hours.  We have had a number of medical scares, maybe's and what-if's that resulted in an emergency MRI this afternoon.  Instead of sharing the details that led up to the MRI, all that matters now is the fact that Ty's tumor has grown significantly in recent weeks, and it is causing a number of neurological issues that he experienced pre-surgery (such as difficulty speaking, facial weakness, limited mouth motility, etc.) 

This is obviously very scary and I wasn't sure I would find the strength to post an update, but I also learned from all of Ty's supporters how important it is to remain stong and remain positive.  I can tell you honestly that the doctors have said this is not uncommon, it happens, and it doesn't mean that the chemo isn't working.  This will not change any plans for his treatment in the immediate future because we need to be patient and give the chemotherapy time to work.  Oftentimes, things get worse before they get better.  

The doctors did, however, add steroids to his regimen.  The last time he was on this medication he improved significantly, and we are hoping for the same results this time around.  He may very well wake up tomorrow and show huge improvements just like the last time.  After a couple of days he was talking up a storm and eating everything under the sun.  That will be a wonderful sight, and I look forward to reporting some better news tomorrow.  And, if we don't see an immediate change as a result of the steroids, we still have to pray for a gradual improvement as the chemo kicks in.  We just need to be patient.

For those who have been following Ty's case since his initial surgery, you know his is a very complicated one and he has experienced a multitude of setbacks.  Most days I can accept the situation and get through the day by going through the motions in my new position as a cancer mom, but today wasn't one of those days.  Today I wanted to be curled up in bed with my own mom stroking my hair and telling me it's going to be okay.  Today I wanted to throw and punch things.  I wanted to yell and curse at the top of my lungs.  Then, just a few minutes ago, Ty woke up from a nap looking good, he asked me to lay with him, he wrapped his arms around my neck and said "I wub you" loud and clear.  Everything feels better now :)