Dodged a bullet

Ty's MRI went well today!  His spine shows no signs of additional disease and that is obviously a huge relief.  In a nutshell, today's MRI just bought us another week of what has proven to be a rather pleasant uncertainty.   We still have to scan his brain again to see what is happening with what his doctor's believe to be new tumors in his cerebellum, but Lou and I (and all of you) are just praying that they are wrong… that those lesions are not malignant and that whatever showed up on Ty's scans last Thursday were some kind of fluke. 

When we were waiting for the results, Ty asked me to go downstairs and get him a turkey sandwich.  Waiting in a line in the hospital cafeteria caused such anxiety that I was afraid I was going to faint right there.  It was such a horrible feeling, getting so worked up like that.  And it stayed with me until the doctor's assistant called us into the room.  "Here we go," I thought.  "Remember to breathe."

When we first walked in, one of his doctor's was standing eating some snacks, while Ty's primary doctor was looking at the scans on the computer.  He didn't turn around to look us in the eyes right away.  So, my crazy mind thinks something like this…"it's bad, he can't even look at us.  But wait, if the other guy is comfortable enough to have snacks, how bad can it be?  And, if it is bad, how dare he be eating snacks so casually!!  He wouldn't dare do that… don't they realize how serious this is?"

So, the first thing he does when he gets up from his computer is start small talk.  I'm thinking, "small talk can only mean one thing, he is buying time before delivering the bad news…or, maybe he is so casual because all is fine and he is happy?"  I was at war with myself over the course of probably one minute but it felt like hours.  Thank you, Lou, for asking the direct question after what seemed like an absolute eternity of me sweating and over-analyzing his every eye movement and hand gesture.  "So, is it good or bad?" 

"Oh, of course, yes, yes, the spine looks okay."  Okay?  Okay meaning what?  Okay, like there's only a little cancer?  Or, okay like there is no cancer?  It was okay meaning no cancer.  The disease did not spread into Ty's spinal cord as his doctor's feared.  We had the green light to discuss a treatment plan, which includes chemotherapy that will begin in two to three weeks. 

But, before we completely buy into "next steps" we need another scan of the brain, and that is scheduled for next Friday.  I am even more nervous about that one, but I will ride this wave of relief for the next six days to get me through. 

In the meantime, I just wanted to let you all know that we are doing great, and that Ty is better than ever.  He even went through with today's MRI WITHOUT ANESTHESIA for the first time.  Can you imagine?  Anyone who has ever been in an MRI room knows about the crazy magnet swishing sound, followed by popping sounds, horrendous knocking sounds, and the crazy alarm sounds that go off the entire time.  Ty had to promise to hold still the entire time, which he did like a champ.  It is a huge scary machine and although I stayed in the room with him we couldn't talk to each other because it's so loud.  All I could reach was his big toe while he was in the machine, so I held onto that so he would know I was there for the entire time - which lasted over an HOUR!!  It was torture for me, but he was amazing.  So incredibly brave.  I love him so much.

Thank you everyone, for loving Ty and praying for him.  Thank you, God!! 

PS - Lou wanted me to designate this post "More Great Things About Lou - PART 2" but he was overruled.  I had to remind him again that this is my blog.  :)