Cancer picked the wrong family to f*ck with. Doesn't cancer know that I will protect my baby cub with raw, fierce and violent determination? I will never give up hope, I will never lose faith and I will never stop fighting for the love of my life. Even after Ty is victorious, I will continue to fight ferociously for the rest of my life. My mind will forever be consumed with the unfairness of this disgusting illness and I will never stop reading, researching and supporting efforts to find a cure to cancer in any way that I can. F*ck you, cancer! I HATE YOUR GUTS! I want to reach into my baby's body, pull out his tumor and mutilate it using every type of violent, obscure device I can think of.
Maybe cancer had its eye on me for a while. Thought I was some silly blonde girl who smiled too easily to hide a slightly frazzled life. A girl who got overwhelmed easily trying to balance life, work and two babies on coffee alone. A girl who was forgetful and weak. An easy target. How wrong you were, Cancer. That baby is part of me… the best part… and I have never been stronger. Since the second he was born there has been a fire burning in my heart. You mess with him, you mess with me and I will never waver. Cancer has tried to pull every dirty trick in the book during this fight. CHEATER! You will not win. You will die.
When Ty cries out in pain from this putrid, evil disease, I often snuggle him and caress him and whisper to him that "it's okay." It's a natural thing to say, but every single time I say that Ty gets so angry and says, "no, it's not okay!" and he's totally right. I tell him he's right. This is NOT okay. Cancer is not okay.
As you all know, Super Ty likes all superheroes -- including the Hulk -- and he is familiar with the phrase, "don't make me angry… you wouldn't like me when I'm angry." This morning I was encouraging him to embrace that mantra and to let the cancer make him angry. Let's finish this!
We are done with radiation treatment on Wednesday morning. It's been difficult, but we are almost there and the radiation is working. We will take a break through Easter weekend and then back to the hospital for 7 - 10 days to deal with his infected shunt before we can begin chemo again. I will keep you posted. Thank you for your support.