New old photos. My favorite!

I received some new photos of Ty tonight from my friend, Linda.  He's just a baby, maybe five months old.  It was his first mini-vacation -- we took a plane into Cincinnati for my friend's baby shower.  He was such a perfect little baby.  We were so happy.  Never, ever, ever would we have imagined the life we are living now.  He was the picture of health.  Now I look at these photos and I can't help but wonder, "did he have cancer yet?"  Impossible.  Just look at him!  How could cancer have ever happened to this little piece of heaven?  I look at that famous smile of his and despite my pain, I also feel so proud. 

We had a busy, happy weekend.  Ty kept me smiling by sending me bluebirds here and there.  Even tonight, when I saw The Avengers take the stage during the Oscars, I smiled for him because I know he would have gotten such a kick out of that.  We LOVE Chris Evans!!  I was happy to see him on that stage (and all of those super cute, super funny, superheroes).  The awards show otherwise had some snoozer moments for me -- too many slow songs -- with the exception of Seth MacFarlane because that man is hilarious.  But, I digress.  I am a far cry from an entertainment blogger so please forgive me for even sharing my opinion :) 

My mother's birthday is this week, so I asked my entire family to come up and visit for the weekend. Mom, Dad, my brother and his daughters, my sister, brother-in-law and their boys. We had a full house, lots of delicious food, champagne, cake, it was really so nice to be together to celebrate my mom.  She's the best mom anyone could ever ask for, and I am just so happy to have been able to throw her a little party for her "59th" birthday (wink wink).  She is going to kill me for this picture, but I can't help it because it cracks me up.  Me and my mom, I just love her so much. 

On Saturday I took Gavin to the local ski mountain along with his cousins and there was a giant puddle in the mud.  He splashed, then jumped, then in typical Gavin fashion he slipped and fell in it.  The water was deep enough that he was soaked to the bone and I saw him debate crying before he decided to laugh instead.  Thanks for that, Ty.  It would be a disgrace if the family who is launching "the muddy puddles project" didn't do well in muddy puddles :) .  My only regret is that I didn't have the camera ready!  We will have to do it again when all of this snow melts. 

As you can imagine, we had toys everywhere.  When I was cleaning up later today I found a miniature "Goofy" figurine that I haven't seen in ages.  I cried a little bit because I simply can't remember if it was Ty who loved the Mickey Mouse set it came with, or Gavin.  I realize this is a totally normal thing that happens to any mom -- time goes by and we can't remember even the things we thought we'd never forget -- and it's totally sad when that happens regardless!  Sadder when I don't have Ty sitting on the couch to ask about it, though. 

However, I do have this blog and I am so glad for that.  I never kept a journal a day in my life before our lives got turned upside-down, and writing through all of these ups and downs has saved my life and helped me maintain perspective.  My great friend Caryn had the entire blog designed and printed into a beautiful book.  It was the greatest surprise during our visit with her last weekend (in DC).  I have been thumbing through it every day since.  I come across blog entries that break my already broken heart all over again, and then I read about some of the miraculous moments that reminds me why Ty was so incredibly special (not that I'll ever, ever, ever need reminding).  Again, he just makes me feel so proud.  Thank you all so much for loving him like you do.  It means so much to Lou and I. 

I know you all know this, but gold is the awareness color for pediatric cancer.  September is pediatric cancer month.  The Ty Louis Campbell Foundation will launch the muddy puddles project in the Spring, followed by a lot of activities focused on going gold this September.  Someone has already kickstarted that process by making a gold ribbon awareness "spangle" at http://www.sbangle.com/ribbon.html :) Thank you, Vicki!  I can't wait until the day that I see all sorts of gold merchandise on the store shelves to help our KIDS!!!!  I have so much confidence that this will be the year where we start to see a shift :)  Thanks to all of you.