6:15 a.m. That's what time he finally fell asleep. Gavin up since 7. How will Lou and I get through the day!?
So Gray Today
Ty and Gavin, July 2010 Gold is an appropriate awareness color for childhood cancer (shiny and new and triumphant), just as gray is a fitting awareness color for brain tumors. Gray matter (get it?), but even more so, the overwhelming feeling when thinking about brain tumors is quite gray. It’s all gloom because it’s all just goddamn awful. I’m glad it’s been cloudy, cold, rainy and gray because that’s exactly how I feel on this first day of Brain Cancer Awareness month. My memories of what I witnessed leaves me with a dark, colorless range of emotions. I can’t stop thinking of all the things, large and small, that occurred during my son’s far too short time here with us. For Mother’s day when Ty was two, Lou bought me a bike with a seat on back for Ty. Ty was so excited to show me in the morning. We went for a ride on the boardwalk but he ended up crying the entire time. He hated the bumps. What I didn’t know is that he hated riding with me because it was giving him a headache. T
Cindy...I wish I lived next to you, as I know we would be quick friends, then I could come and give you and Lou a much needed break. I can feel your pain (well as much as I can imagine?) and know the exhaustion levels, although my twins are quite loud and may wake your somber? LOL...keep the fight up, you already won, but to stay on top you must rise above, which you have done time and time again. I still have those moose turds candies, was holding them because I did not want to send them if Ty was having a tough time swallowing and did not want to throw any fuel to the fire...if he is ok with them please let me know, as I would love to send a package for him and Gavin to open. With much love and hugs coming your way...
ReplyDeletethe Smiths, from Alaska!!!
Oh Cindy, I hope you slept at some point. I am so sorry for the night you guys had. You are such a beautiful spirit. All of you. I know you hear it all the time, but good times are ahead. Yes.. they still do exist. God bless you
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm...so concerned about you all. How are you doing? Sending lots of love and happy thoughts, Marianne
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm...so concerned about you all. How are you doing? Sending lots of love and happy thoughts, Marianne
ReplyDelete