Lots of thoughts

Thank you so much for all of the comments you made on Ty's year in review video.  I can't believe all this little man has been through over the past year.  Cancer is pure hell, but when it's an innocent child suffering it makes it even that much worse.  My heart breaks every day, even when Ty is doing so well, because I have to see my perfect boy covered with scars and medical hardware. 

My friend who has had her fair-share of chronic health issues since she was a child always reminds me that surgical scars like his and hers are purple hearts, and I couldn't agree more.  I will be so proud of those scars when all of this is behind us and I will look at them as constant reminders to always strive for better.  To always be the best I can be, to do everything I can to make a difference and to help others like me and like Ty.  I know that he will, too.  He's always been such a special little boy, and he will only become more and more amazing as he grows into a young man. Ty Louis Campbell is going to do amazing things with his life... I promise you that.  As his mother, I will make sure of it and I tell God that every day.  Please give us the chance. 

Everyone wants to be blogging :)

My biggest problem right now is carrying the weight and the fear of knowing that those days may not come because cancer is lurking around every corner.  I feel its evil presence all around me and I am literally living in fear.  Lou and I just can't bear the thought of the bottom falling out. The fear of what's next. What does cancer have in store for us? It's killing me! I hate this disease as much as I hate pedophiles and child abusers.  But on the other hand, I sit and stare at Ty all day long and I see only that he is healing.  I know he is getting better with every day, and the issues he still has with his speech, his eyes and muscular weakness are all "leftovers".  Minor issues that will fix themselves over time.  Argh!  Where is all of this going?  I have said this over and over again, I will gladly do this for another year or ten if it means Ty will be okay in the end.  That he will be able to live the life he deserves. 

Ty has been sleeping so much better over the past few weeks.  In fact, the past few nights we didn't even give him any sleeping medication and he did pretty good!  Last night he was tossing and turning a lot, and a few days in a row he woke up for a half hour or so in the middle of the night, but he was in a good mood and willing to go back to bed shortly thereafter.  What a big difference it has made in our lives!  Lou and I are actually well rested for a change, and it feels amazing! 

Now we need to work on his eating habits.  He is so stubborn about what he is willing to eat and his selections are far from healthy.  For example, the past two days he ate marshmallows and craisins.  Exclusively.  Washed down with yogurt drinks.  It's just so hard to get tough with him about eating better when I'm just so happy to see him able to eat whatsoever and knowing all he has been through.  I don't want to fight with him when eating is one of the few things he is taking control of in his life.  That, and wearing diapers.  He insists that they are more comfortable than underwear and he wants to keep wearing them even though he has been accident-free for weeks.  I let him.  Again, the poor kid has been poked and prodded and forced to do so many things against his will, I don't like to deny him the few choices he can make on his own. 

This weekend was great.  On Saturday we spent the morning with Ty's "adopted" football team at Fordham University.  Friends of Jaclyn coordinated the adoption and they were there to facilitate Ty's official "welcome" ceremony.  Fordham is such a beautiful school and the boys were all so warm and welcoming.  We are happy to be a part of this program and Ty's next team activity will be attending the upcoming game against Army at West Point!  I am so excited for that.  Looking out at all of those young men in their prime, Lou and I got lost in our hopes and dreams of Ty being just like them some day.  I think he will!  We brought Gavin along to meet the players, too, and I think he caught the football bug :) 

In between some ferocious thunderstorms on Sunday were also some beautiful pockets of sunshine and we were able to enjoy a fun pool day with our friends and neighbors.  It was so nice to have a normal afternoon and a house full of kids (and grownups) having fun.  My mom and dad are staying with us for a few days, too, which is always such a huge help.  Ty just loves having them around.  Finally, we celebrated our niece, Deanna's birthday over the weekend.  Happy birthday to both Deanna and her dad, Uncle Rich, who also celebrated his birthday this past week.  We love you guys so much!