Sunday, February 3, 2013

Stand up to cancer: World Cancer Day

Tomorrow is Stand Up 2 Cancer World Cancer Day. I will be posting some pictures of Gavin, Lou and I standing up for Ty and all the kids. Please help us to support this social media campaign by printing out a placard and posting a picture on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc. Go to http://wcd2013.su2c.org/ to get your own placard, then post your photo EVERYWHERE to help spread the word! Just follow Gavin's lead! (Wow, I'm just realizing how badly he needs a haircut).


The foundation website launch got sidetracked a bit because Gavin came down with a terrible cold/fever.  We are all a little under the weather and will have to stay home tomorrow, too.  My cousin came over to spend the day with us today and when Gavin became quiet in the toy room, I peeked around the corner and found him fast asleep on top of his toybox.  Poor baby!  His has his tiny Captain America lego guy nice and close.  So sweet.



This is the first time Lou and I had a very sick boy in bed between us since October.  It was so hard to hear Gavin coughing and having trouble breathing for so many obvious reasons.  It took us back to the countless nights of constant worry over Ty.  We were up all night giving Gavin medicine, checking his temperature, snuggling him and saying soft "I love you's" in his ear.  I'm so glad that he began sleeping with us shortly after losing Ty.  Every night at some point, he makes his way from his bed into ours.  Sometimes I wake up in the morning, unable to remember when or how he got up in our bed because it's become so routine.  He has only slept through the night without making this migration once in three months, and when he woke me in the morning he was just as surprised as I was. 

Yesterday, I was in the kitchen when I overheard Lou tell Gavin, "I want to do something today, what should we do?"  Gavin answered, "I want to go to heaven and see Ty!" with excitement.  Wow.  Lucky for Lou and I, he jumped off the couch where Lou was sitting and went into his little toy room so he didn't see our silent tears start flowing.  After a short while, I choked them back and I asked Gavin if her remembered what I told him about Ty... if he remembered that Ty was very sick so God decided to take Ty to heaven early?  That we all will go there when we got old, but Ty got to go there sooner.  Gavin said "am I gonna see Ty in heaven when I am old?"  I do think he is beginning to understand, but I was surprised by all of the questions yesterday. 

Later in the day, Gavin was getting speech therapy by the same lovely person who used to provide those services for Ty.  He was excited and telling her all about Iron Man.  He talked about how Santa Clause brought him a new Iron Man costume, and how Iron Man has repulsors, and how Iron Man has that thing that lights up in between his "ninnies".  How cute.  I told him, "that's his heart, Gavin.  The light in his chest is his heart."  He heard me and he told his teacher, "Yes, iron man has a light in his heart just like I have Ty in my heart."  I guess it's not just Lou and I.  Gavin must be thinking about and missing Ty a lot more than we realize.  It took every ounce of my being to nod and acknowledge that yes, Ty is in his heart, without breaking down and crying a river.  I totally held it together.  I was very proud of myself for that.

Ever since we lost Ty, I have been seeing him out of the corner of my eye.  When he first died, I kept hearing his toddler footsteps and seeing my curly haired baby.  Over the past week or so, those visions have transitioned to one when he is older, but before he became paralyzed.  I see him getting so healthy and scooting all around the house.  I remember the bald spot at the bottom of his head after he completed radiation.  How soft and warm his head always felt.  I would examine and kiss the scars there all night long while he slept beside me.  These were the best days of my life. 


Today I was talking to him while driving, reaching behind me for his foot but hitting only the carseat.  Telling him that I want to trade the pain of losing him for the pain of caring for him and watching him hurt, because I would also get to see his magnetic smile that could spread joy around the world.  I wish my whole body was still hurting from being his arms and legs for so long.  I wish I was filled with worry and anxiety that caused psoriasis and TMJ, because it's so much better than the pain of this void and this longing.  I would embrace that pain and welcome it with open arms.  It doesn't even compare with the pain I now carry in my heart. 

I received an awesome gift in the mail.  It included photos that were taken two summers ago, when Ty had just started improving.   Pictures of Ty that I've never seen are the greatest gift anyone can give me. 


Whoops!  I can't seem to fix this.  Sorry!  You get the idea, though.  He's adorable (not to mention his Papa and Daddy are very handsome, too).  I miss him so much with every passing minute.  But we are doing well and so many wonderful things are happening in his honor - as they should be.  I feel him with me all the time, and I know he is happy. 

48 comments:

  1. You are lovely. Thank you for sharing your beautiful son with the world.

    ReplyDelete
  2. You are lovely. Thank you for sharing your beautiful son with the world.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You have a beautiful way with words, they always bring me to tears. Thank you for continuing to write and update us. As I said before you and Ty have taught me so many priceless lessons. Thank you

    ReplyDelete
  4. I miss you buddy... Hope I get a lady bug soon :)

    ReplyDelete
  5. He looks just like his Daddy and Pa Pa! Today Haiden came up behind me and saw Ty's pic on my screen, he said hey! he looks like me, I said yes you do look alike. He said what is his name? I said Ty, he said yes, Ty fighter, I said yes, that's right! Perfect actually :) (Ty Fighter from Star Wars).
    Rita

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So perfect! your son is awesome for pointing that out!! Coincidentally my 3 yr old son Hayden :) always thinks its himself he sees when he sees Ty's pics, esp. in the pic at the top of the page, cool Ty in his leather jacket. Cindy, once again a beautiful post! you are amazing, my heart breaks for you. I cry every time I think of you guys, The Incredible Family. This is all so unfair. Ty's pics as always, took my breath away. <3 He is so perfect, so beautiful. That smile! We all love & miss him dearly. He should be here with you. Cancer is a$$hole!! Hope Gavin is feeling better! He is so sweet when he speaks of Ty. The best of brothers. Im so sorry Campbell Family!

      Delete
    2. my son looks at pics of Ty and thinks he's seeing himself too - interesting right? He doesn't think pics of Gavin are him, only Ty....

      Delete
    3. Yes, funny our kids are doing that!

      Rita

      Delete
  6. Thank you for sharing your beautiful Ty with us. It was a beautiful day today, and I thought of Ty and your family while I watched my kids get a rare opportunity to play in the mud in February. Thank you for reminding us of the beauty in everyday life.

    ReplyDelete


  7. http://www.thecurestartsnow.org/

    ReplyDelete
  8. Last night I opened my magazine to this page: Self Women Doing Good. Lets nominate Cindy! The website is selfconnected.com. The winner receives a donation to their charity! I am not on facebook but if those of you who are can spread the word about this and nominate Cindy - it would be great!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will check it out! Great idea!

      Delete
    2. http://womendoinggood.selfconnected.com/entry.php

      Mission statement: The Ty Louis Campbell Foundation is 100% dedicated to spreading awareness and funding resesarch for better treatment options to cure pediatric cancer. All donations will be carefully applied to research opportunities that we believe in. No child should ever have cancer. We won't stop until no child has to go through what Ty has been through.

      Delete
    3. http://womendoinggood.selfconnected.com/entry.php

      Mission statement: The Ty Louis Campbell Foundation is 100% dedicated to spreading awareness and funding resesarch for better treatment options to cure pediatric cancer. All donations will be carefully applied to research opportunities that we believe in. No child should ever have cancer. We won't stop until no child has to go through what Ty has been through.

      Delete
  9. So happy to hear about your beautiful boy's visits to you when you can see him out of the corner of your eye. I know exactly what you mean. No doubt your beautiful boy is with you although only in spirit. Keep up the good work Campbell family! You are all precious. Love, Heather

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'll check it out and help share it Shannon - sure other readers of the blog will too!

    And I'm right there with you GaGa - I just posted my pic to twitter. Feel better soon little man.

    Looking forward to seeing the website when it's live! Thinking of you guys always - SuperTy always and forever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks.

      http://womendoinggood.selfconnected.com/entry.php

      Mission statement: The Ty Louis Campbell Foundation is 100% dedicated to spreading awareness and funding resesarch for better treatment options to cure pediatric cancer. All donations will be carefully applied to research opportunities that we believe in. No child should ever have cancer. We won't stop until no child has to go through what Ty has been through.

      Delete
  11. Always thinking of Ty and his amazing family. Hope Gavin is feeling better today.
    Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
  12. Great pic of Ty Daddy & Papa! Ty looks like his Papa!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Gavin is gorgeous with those dimples God Bless!! Ty has made great strides already in the outlook many have of pediatric cancer. He fought, suffered, made progress and handled set backs always bringing that beautiful smile. I know this is a painful time but I still want to say thank you to you and your family for the promise of a better future and a clearer outlook of the present battle.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hello,

    Your kid was beautiful you must be very proud of him.He is absolutely an angel.

    I wonder If your goal now is spreading of pedriatic brain cancer why not joy efforts with organizations already working on it? isn´t it going to be more effective than just one fundation working on its own? Just wondering.. also If we donate which medical researches are founds going to?
    I really stand for the cause, and I have found out about Ty and the million of kids going through this kind of cruel disease. I would like to get more info. I have visited also another web standing for the same with lots of children that have gone exacly through the same..Thank you bless all this kids

    ReplyDelete
  15. I love reading your posts...they are so touching & heartfelt! The love you have for your boys is so beautiful! I hope God blesses you & your family with wonderful things today & always :) I'm sure Ty is so proud of everything you are doing in his honor and memory ❤❤❤

    ReplyDelete
  16. http://womendoinggood.selfconnected.com/entry.php

    Mission statement: The Ty Louis Campbell Foundation is 100% dedicated to spreading awareness and funding resesarch for better treatment options to cure pediatric cancer. All donations will be carefully applied to research opportunities that we believe in. No child should ever have cancer. We won't stop until no child has to go through what Ty has been through.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have it filled out, but am missing an email address. Can I get that? It won't let me submit without it. Thanks!

      Delete
    2. tylouiscampbell@gmail.com

      Delete
  17. Cindy, It makes me happy to know Ty is always by your side and you are seeing him out of the corner of your eye. We own a business where a gentleman passed 45 yrs. ago. The employees, customers and myself see him ( thats who we assume it is) out of the corner of our eye almost on a daily basis. Ty will always be with you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Cindy,
    Now I am not sure if anyone else has ever heard of this....But I have heard that when you think you see something/someone out of the corner of your eye, that it was an angel passing by....No fooling. Can't remember where I heard it from. But with all of the love that is clearly in your heart, I wouldn't be surprised if it were a special visit from your special angel. <3 <3 <3

    ReplyDelete

  19. Hello,

    Thank you for continuing to share " SuperTy's " and your family's courageous & heartbreaking journey.

    " SuperTy " will always be my hero !

    All the best.

    - Rob Swan

    ReplyDelete
  20. Dear Cindy, I would reach out for his little foot for the rest of my life too if I would be you. He is so physically missed. I want you so much to hear his words and to lay his head on your neck. He is the best boy in the world. His smile could light thousands stars. I miss seeing his new smiles. How can a mom's love not be enough to save him, to take away his pain? i refuse to ever believe that I cant kiss away my kids booboos. I miss you Ty so much. I love you Gavin, Cindy and Lou.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just wanted to say that I looked through the SU2C FB page with all the photos and I saw MANY that were dedicated to SuperTy! Just like you, it made me happy and sad at the same time! He is touching so many hearts....I know mine is changed forever.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Hi Cindy,
    I was in Stop and Shop today and I was picking up Valentines cards and chocolates and by a display of chocolate sat a lady bug filled with tiny roses... immediately I thought of you and Ty! I soooo wanted to pick one up and mail it to you but I wasn't sure how it'd make a trip through the postal service with live roses in it, but know I bought one to sit on my window sill so that I am always reminded every morning of your precious little boy!!

    ReplyDelete
  23. The new web site is so moving. God bless your family and Super Ty!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Also to a suspended operating deck, the genuine treadbelt is cushioned
    supplied an added shock absorption function.

    My page dumbbell sets

    ReplyDelete
  25. Men and women get with each other and stroll in groups, some people today even stroll about the inside of buying malls just for the sake of
    going for walks.

    Feel free to surf to my web site :: www.getfitnstrong.com

    ReplyDelete
  26. There are lots of Pro's to the bowflex household fitness center.

    my blog :: dumbbell skull crushers

    ReplyDelete
  27. Like intelligent it is possible to get grips that assist you to
    in performing press ups but however if completed properly its
    nothing but perform of some intelligent piping devoid
    of dropping any of the advantages of the products accessible while in the industry.


    My web page; additional reading

    ReplyDelete
  28. These are typically only a few of your somekeyword you are
    able to do, you will discover much more.

    Here is my blog: incl Post Article Comments Name : EmailAddress : URL : Comments : Article Categories �

    ReplyDelete
  29. It can't be whipped again into shape inside of a couple of times or months.

    Here is my blog: click the up coming site

    ReplyDelete
  30. There might be other positive aspects to some sorts
    of fitness center and household exercise equipment,
    training bikes also can bolster and tone leg muscle tissues for instance, but cardio
    equipments major goal would be to raise the coronary heart amount and crack a sweat.



    Also visit my web site :: free weights for sale

    ReplyDelete
  31. This will likely make working out much easier, especially
    when you've got brief rests involving your sets.

    My page :: dumbbells for sale

    ReplyDelete
  32. How should an individual technique constructive pondering being a section of fitness
    and fat reduction?

    Here is my blog post; http://www.getfitnstrong.com/adjustable-dumbbells/3-great-adjustable-weights-affordable-prices

    ReplyDelete
  33. The resistance bands themselves can be found in many various
    weights.

    My blog post: http://www.getfitnstrong.com/adjustable-dumbbells/dumbbells-sale-further/

    ReplyDelete
  34. With the Revolution XP, there is not any momentum and you also are compelled to
    employ the proper kind.

    my weblog - bowflex selecttech dumbbells

    ReplyDelete
  35. You already belong in your house, you do not need a membership.


    Also visit my site ... www.getfitnstrong.com

    ReplyDelete
  36. Has anything ever bothered you in life? Do you
    have any problem you need to solve? A pending
    court case you want to resolve in your favor?
    Health, relationship and finance. Welcome to
    the world of miracles and wonders, there are
    supernatural treasure and power to liberate
    mankind from all afflictions. Why cant you live a
    life of your dream? Why must you work so hard
    and yet earn so little? Why cant you be happy
    with the one you love and desire or why cant the
    one you love reciprocate and appreciate that
    love? Why would the doctor tell you there is no
    solution or cure to your problems? Why would
    your lawyer say you stand no chance, that your
    case is hopeless? Have you been cheated by
    anyone or those owing you money refuse to pay
    back? Do you need a rapid job promotion in
    your place of work? You want to venture into
    politics? Now I understand certain things are
    hard to believe and comprehend, but all I ask
    from you is only 3 days and if you will follow my
    instructions and use the items you will receive, I
    promise your life will never be the same
    again.If you find no relevance in the help I offer
    I solemnly appeals do not be vindictive and go
    in peace. And if your intentions are to take
    advantage of the powerful nature of our items
    for the purpose of evil, I will not have any
    business with you please be advised. May
    angels guide you. All inquiries should be
    directed to the Priest Abija email below Email:
    spirituallighthealing101@live.com or
    you can sent a text message to this number:(518) 303-6207!

    ReplyDelete