Monday, September 24, 2012

Please don't die

Tonight I did something I've been trying so hard not to do.  Ty had fallen asleep for the night and I noticed that his eyes were still partially open.  My heart sank.  I immediately recalled some of the information I read in the hospice handbook under the category "weeks to days" (signs when an individual has weeks to days left on this earth).  During my morning coffee I read the following and thought about how Ty looks when he is under deep anesthesia:
  • the individual may lose the ability to shut his or her eyes completely. 
In a panic of emotion I leaned in and whispered to Ty, "Don't die. Please."  I know he isn't going to die tonight, we will have tomorrow, but I feel weak for doing that.  Like I was trying to take back all of this tough talk about letting go.  Like a little kid crying, "I changed my mind!"  I didn't want to do that.  I wanted to be strong and to tell Ty how it's okay.  But you all know that the truth is it's not okay, what happened to him.  It will never be okay.  How can children like Ty be tortured with the horrors of cancer.  Look at my angel after his bath today, all wrapped up in his towels.  He deserves nothing but beauty and happiness.  Again, maybe he is just too good for this world. 


We had a beautiful treat today.  A very kind and generous friend treated Ty to his own, personal visit from a traveling petting zoo.  This was the highlight of our day.  Ty has been very emotional and generally sad over the past two days, but when the animals were here he perked up and he was very happy to pet them.  He even asked me to show the animals some of his toys (you can see I am showing the tortoise the new Lego Pirate we found in our mailbox today). 


All of the animals are rescue animals and they were very gentle with Ty and Gavin.  Nicole, the owner who came to our home, was nothing but gentle and kind with Ty.  She had a wonderful way with him and we are so grateful for that because we had our doubts about how Ty was going to react.  She was terrific.  For more information about the cause, visit www.animalexperiences.com.   And, check out the size of that bunny next to Gavin!





For her privacy, I don't talk about our Mely very often on this blog.  She has been with us since we moved to Pawling almost two years ago and she is the greatest nanny you could ever ask for us.  I believe she was sent to us on purpose.  She loves Gavin and Ty more than you can imagine.  Her visa expires tomorrow, and as of two weeks ago I would have been driving her to the airport tomorrow morning.  Thanks to Lou, our local congresswoman, and our team at MSKCC for doing whatever possible to extend her stay.  I am SO thankful to say that she will be able to stay in the US for at least another month.  She is part of our family and couldn't imagine if she wasn't with us, with Ty, during this time.  In fact, I can't imagine our family without her ever!


Batman Mely spoon-feeding the spoiled Captain America his soup
Sometimes I look at how big Gavin has grown and I get so upset about how much time I missed out on with him.  Thank God he has had Mely and our loving family to help out during our long hospital stays and emergencies, but it doesn't make it any less unfair for me and Lou.  As we were climbing the stairs to go to bed tonight, he said to me, "Mommy.  Mely is my best friend, and you are Ty's best friend."  I am grateful that he has such love for her.  I am also sad that he notices the difference between how much attention I give Ty.  I hope he will always know that I don't love him any less whatsoever. I hope he feels my love for him just as much as the love that oozes out of me for Ty.  I hope I don't smother him in an unhealthy way when Ty is gone - or, abandon him in a lonely world of depression.  Argh!  How am I going to do this?? 

I have mentioned Ty's bag of "stuff" before.  Since we started going to hyperbaric oxygen therapy and rehab in April I have been carrying around a backpack filled with all of his favorite things.  His Max and Ruby dolls, his robot, his little pooping cow, his batmobile, his seashells, his carnival tickets and so much more.  We were always adding things to his bag of stuff so I was always prepared to help him smile during the long, tough days in treatment.  I think I should carry it around with me forever.  Is that silly?  Maybe whenever I am feeling especially sad I can pull out the poop cow for a giggle.  Or his seashells and remember the day we collected them.  God, this is so hard. 

Your thoughtful words help so much.  They help me cope because I know that Ty is touching the lives of so many.  He has done more good in his almost five years that others will do in 100. 




141 comments:

  1. Prayers are with your family tonight. There is no way to imagine how your family feels right now but use all the love and stregnth that so many are sending you. Lean on the kind words and strong shoulders of all of us. We will hold you up with prayers love and kindness through whatever the future holds.
    Heather

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  2. You are always in my thoughts, always in my prayers. Ty has touched so many lives all across this world & he will always be "super ty - the little fighter - a miracle". his courage & strength are beyond words. Your love, devotion, faith, hope, courage, strength & selflessness has touched so many lives & you sharing Ty with all of us is the most amazing gift of all. Thank you for allowing us into your life, to be touched by this precious innocent life. Ty will forever impact my life and you and your family will always be in my thoughts & prayers.
    Isaiah 41:10
    So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
    We love you to the moon and back.
    Lisa & Alex Reda

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  3. Cindy, you are amazing. Through your beautiful words, and endless love, you have made Ty, everyone's child, everyone's hero.
    Kathy from South Philly

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  4. Cindy, I wish I could come up with some philosophical words to help you and your family through this difficult time and to explain why Ty has been forced to endure so much pain. I wish I could tell you that you and Lou will get through this and be ok. But I can't because no matter how you look at what is going on it just plain sucks. You are not supposed to watch your children suffer and pass before you...it is not part of the natural order. That being said, i truly believe that you and Lou were chosen to go through this together because of your strength, love and courage. Never once have you given up on Ty or each other and you have done everything in your power to be the best parents to the best little boys. It takes a very special kind of person to love and fight the way you have and this is world is a better place because of your family. Know that you have so many people praying for you and your family -more people than you can comprehend - who are here to support you during this very difficult time. Life will never be the same without Ty but you are better people to have known him. Never forget that you are not alone and are an inspiration to all. I can only pray that your "voice" for pediatric cancer awareness helps in the fight against this horrible disease. No matter what I will continue to pray for another miracle...a miracle that will wipe this disease out of Ty once and for all. And if not, a beautiful Kingdom awaits Ty for him to shine down on the world and keep a sparkle in the sky

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    1. That was so beautiful

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    2. Every word I wrote is true. I can't tell you how heartbroken I am over all of this. I don't know your family personally, but I feel like I have somehow been connected since my friend from Long Beach passed along your blog some year and a half ago. I pray to God that I never have to go through anything like this when I have children one day, but i have forever been changed by your story-and for the better. Know that I will forever pray for you and think about you guys. I would love to just give you a hug!
      Jen from Rockaway Park

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  5. No one can tell you how to do this. You are Ty's mother and always will be. We all see from the pictures and hear it in your words, the love you all have for this special boy. No one tells us how to mother, so therefore, no one can tell us how to stop once our hearts are given to our children. Just know that God is with you all and that there will be a time when you are all back together again. Know that Ty will have a healthy body, free from pain. He will be with you always. Sending prayers to you all.
    Jennifer - Illinois

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  6. i have cried every night since last saturday! i cant imagine how u do this! you, lou and gavin are amazing. ty u have changed my life and i would give u mine if i could. xo
    bridget

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  7. jennifer house morrisseySeptember 24, 2012 at 11:40 PM

    that photo of him in tne towel is beautiful. all his photos are beautiful. keep being you and loving him the way you do. you are doing all the right things.

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  8. Thinking of you Campbell Family, praying that you receive a miracle for Ty!! You are the most incredible parents and not only does Ty know and feel this Gavin knows it too!! You will always be there for both Ty and Gavin as that is what us Moms know best, our children before ourselves! Hugs and prayers being sent to you all! <3

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  9. My heart is heavy tonight. Ty and Team Lane are heavy on my heart. I am praying for peace, understand and a miracle. God is in control and I so WISH I could control these situations. I am praying for you, your heart, your children and most of all, our powerful god that he will heal your little boys body.

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  10. I'm trying to update myself on your posts from the last few weeks but it's hard to read the words thru my tears. I have followed your blog since the beginning and I often go a few wks at a time not checking on purpose. I'm scared to be honest to see what's going to be posted but hopeful each time I type in this website, knowing how strong and special Ty is. Although we've never met physically I truly feel like I know you and Ty personally and feel the pain and anguish you're going thru, having followed you all for the last 2 years.
    Ty couldn't have be given to two better, more loving parents than you and Lou. Your strength, determination, never give up attitude and faith in God has kept Ty here way longer than expected and God chose you both to be in Ty's life and he was also chosen to be your son. I wholeheartedly believe that. Despite the most recent posts, I will not give up on Ty and know he will not give up either! HE will fight til the end and for that we are all grateful! He is the most special little boy I know and is truly a blessing to anyone who knows him. Your strength is astounding! So happy despite all his pain he was able to hang out with those cool animals today and hopefully they brought a big smile and a new hope his way!
    My love to you all and my prayers will always be going out..
    Love Allison

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  11. Cindy & Lou,

    I always wonder if I say the right things to you guys, I never really know what to say. Cancer sucks. I could never imagine being in your shoes and I am not so sure that I would care if my son changed everyones life because I am selfish. I would want him with me instead of everyone else changing because they were lucky enough to have my little boy in their lives. But. . .You are probably the most unselfish person I have never met. I do not know how you guys do it. You and Lou are amazing parents. Your dedication and love for Ty and others is simply remarkable. Ty is so special, a miracle, and angel on earth. One would never believe that one little boy could do so much for so many people.

    I have read your blog from the beginning and I will say I didn't always read the comments only the posts. I now read both and Ty has truly changed peoples lives and I don't think anyone will ever forget him. There are so many people who care about your family, and I know that helps you and Lou a lot. I promise you that I will NEVER forget Ty if god forbid he leaves this earth.

    You worry about forgetting him and I am here to tell you that will never happen Cindy. Again, I am not the most religous person in the world, but I believe Ty will be with you every second of every day. Look at that smile! I mean, here is your little boy battling this disgusting disease and he stays smiling his amazing smile. He is incredible, but you already know this.

    Thank you guys for sharing your very special little boy with me. For what it is worth, I will NEVER forget him. I cry for you every day and I pray for that miracle. But really, he already is a miracle.

    Gavin knows you love him and once he is older and is able to fully comprehend what you went through, he is going to be in awe of the incredible parents he has! I often wonder if you two truly realize how incredible you are?

    Thinking and praying 24/7

    Joy Marielle
    Baltimore, MD

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  12. I am so happy to see that Ty got to spend time with the animals - what a special treat and my god, that bunny is huge and how cute is Gavin standing next to it!! Today is not the day for Ty to go - you aren't like a little kid, you're his momma and of course you want every moment you can get. I am so grateful that Mely is able to stay on with you guys longer - and hopefully the angels that worked to keep her here can help her stay as long as you guys need her. I know Gavin's comment hurts a little but I also hope you know in your heart that he will be OK and when he is older he'll understand why things have been the way they have. Thank you so much for taking the time to keep us all up to date on Ty because like everyone else I am glued to the computer waiting for the next update. I know it must be so hard but thank you. Ty is such a beautiful kid and this really sucks so bad and I promise to help keep spreading the word about the awfulness of Childhood Cancer. I still pray every day for a miracle that will make Ty healthy and strong - it could happen right, that's the whole point of a miracle....Dori said just keep swimming, but I'm going to just keep praying. SuperTy always and forever. Good night Campbell's - I hope you can get some much needed rest.

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  13. In every picture of Ty I can see his beautiful smile. If he has to leave us, he is going to a better place, he will have no more pain. May God bless you and your family always!

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  14. Ty and my son are the same age, so I have felt very connected to Ty from the first time I read about him in April 2011. Since then, I have read your blog consistently. It's become part of my bedtime routine.

    I can't begin to imagine your pain. But please know that you are not alone in this. We, all around the world, are praying, crying, and hurting with you. I wish you continued strength.


    Your friend,
    Rihanna

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  15. Cindy, Johnny was very attached to Leslie, so much so, I thought he loved her more than he loved Charlie and I, but the truth is she was a temp. Kids are resourceful and they will take the attention where they can get it. I'm sure he loves Amela, but he loves his mommy. You will reconnect and all will be good. I promise. Don't let this cancer defeat you Cindy. It is taking enough from you.

    Love you!

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  16. Cindy
    i don't know you. you are a friend of a friend of a friend. i have been following your journey for about a year. i think about you and Ty so often. first let me say, as someone who doesn't know you and has no reason to say so... you are the BEST mother. it is crazy that you ever for a nanosecond doubt that. what you have been through, your love for Ty, your love for Gavin, your love for your husband. you have walked this journey with the most grace, class and beauty i could ever imagine. whenever I start to feel frustrated with my 3 kids whining at the end of a long day, i think of you and of Ty and remember how I am so incredibly blessed to have children who are even able to whine. i really am reminded that every day is a blessing and i am making Ty a promise right now that I will never take even a second for granted and never get stressed out about things that don't matter. I am so, so, incredibly sorry and heartbroken for you. I am reminded of the quote "I cannot go on. I go on." May God bless you and Ty and Gavin and Lou. Thinking of you and praying for you. Love, Dana Klein (Los Angeles)

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  17. We are still praying and keeping the hope for Ty. Love and prayers to all and glad that Ty has been getting more smiles. Hugs to Gavin and Super Ty

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  18. I sit here and read your words and the tears roll down my face. I think how are you going to do this, how have you been doing this and why should you or anyone else have to endure such agony to watch their child be so ill and die. Ty and Gavin are very lucky boys to have such a great mom and dad. Despite it all, you have managed to make Ty's visit here filled with love, comfort and happiness. I look at the pictures, into his beautiful face and i see happy eyes. There is no fear, only content and peace and that is because of you, because it is obvious that he is wrapped in pure love and he will take your love with him and leave you all of his to keep in your heart forever. God gave you a beautiful gift, you are Ty's mom and not even cancer will ever change that. Keep kissing and loving that boy and when you can't anymore you will find a different way to kiss and love him.

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  19. Oh Ty -- We'll eat you up we love you so.

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  21. was just thinking the other day about how Ty, in almost five years, has taught us (thousands of us who know about him) so much about strength and love; much more than many of us will ever be able to in our whole lives. Ty has brought us together in love and faith. This is something that only a very few special people can do. And I am sure that when Gavin is old enough to understand all this; he is going to be most proud of his big brother.
    Much Love,
    Taciani

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  22. Cindy,I feel your pain so deeply. I wish I could do more to comfort you and Lou in your time of need. All I can think about is Ty. I anxiously check your blog several times a day in hopes that some great miracle happens but at the same time I look with one eye closed, afraid of the worst. I know there is a heaven and I know that it is a better place but I don't want to let go either. It is a double edged sword. I have been so blessed to be able to share in Ty's greatness. I believe God brought us all together, I am not quite sure why but I trust in him and I thank him for sharing such a special little boy. And don't doubt for a minute that Gavin loves you, you are a great mom and Lou is a great dad and Gavin knows that, kids understand more than we give them credit for. Mely was Gavin's gift to help him get through it all.

    I am praying for Ty today and everyday that God will find it in his heart to spare him. I pray for all of you too, to have strength in whatever may come. My heart and soul is with you all. God Bless.

    Love Rose!

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  23. I am suffering through this anguish with you and your family. You are not alone. I am sending you all my love ad hugs and positive energy through this little phone screen I use every night to read about the most beautiful boy in the world. He is surrounded by so much love. I am crying and praying for him.

    Christina from Hoboken

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  24. I have been following Ty and your blog almost since the beginning. I've never left a comment before, but I wanted you to know that I have been praying and am continuing to do so. Thank you for sharing.
    Gaye

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  25. What a wonderful idea to treat Ty and Gavin with their own private petting zoo! I loved that and I loved to hear how it made Ty happy!
    How wonderful that Mely is allowed to stay longer with you than her Visa allows her to. Makes me think that there are people out there who value things like humanity and empathy and that is just wonderful.
    I cannot even imagine how hard all of this is on you and please don't feel guilty for asking Ty not to die last night. Although you try to stay strong it is the most natural thing in the world for a mother or a father to hope that your kid will not die and it is almost only natural that you cannot stay that strong for days on end.
    My heart aches for you every single day and I think of Ty so often throughout the day. I light a new candle as soon as the old one goes out.
    I pray for Ty and for all of your family.

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  26. I just learned about your story, and started reading your blog. I've read it all in days, and would feel the same about so many things (I would've wanted to save the bloody pillowcase, too). What a horrible, unfair nightmare :( I'm sorry. **hugs**

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  27. PS - I love the pictures :) I have a little boy, and many similar photos. The petting zoo is precious :)))

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  28. Cindy-
    It is 3:00 am...I just woke up because my daughter was calling me, and before I could go back to sleep, I had to check and see if you updated, this is how captured I am by your loving family. I wish there was something that anyone could say or do to ease the pain of this difficult time...please know that my family is praying for yours constantly...for truly your words on this blog helped me get through the hardest of days during my own daughter's battle with cancer. So although we have never met, know that your love, strength and courage have been such an inspiration to me...and that their is not a minute that goes by that I am not asking God to cover your family with peace and comfort. My heart is with you.

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  29. My daughter had open heart surgery right after she was born so I know just a tiny bit of the pain and grief you are going through - that feeling of holding your child and not knowing what is next, the fear of loss. But what your family is experiencing is so tremendously, deeply more painful. No parent - and certainly no child - should have to go through this. But I am absolutely in awe as I read your blog through my tears of your strength, and grace, and wisdom, and love. I will think of your family every day and pray for all of you - and for all our children. What a lesson you and sweet little Ty have taught all of us. He truly had the most perfect face.

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  30. Cindy,
    The four of you are in my thoughts all day. Although we have never met I believe you are the strongest woman I have ever known. I teach first grade and I can tell you that your love and dedication to your children is greater than most children will ever know. May God bless you and your wonderful family.

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  31. Thinking and praying for you always. xoxoxo

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  32. ★ ♡♥ ☆I have a shirt.....that I will keep forever....when I travel it goes.....i feel like I can sleep better when wherever I rest my head, the shirt is there....the hard days, i wear it.....i lost a brother too soon, i lost a beautiful life too soon......keep the back pack, nobody needs to know why.....just you and those who matter....i have been praying daily and sometimes hourly for your family which i have never met....prayers from Maine!★ ♡♥ ☆

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  33. Praying for your family.

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  34. Each day I have been posting how much Ty's story has changed my life and so many others. I have been trying to find any words that could possibly comfort you at all. Today I just feel so sad. One of my sons is the exact age of Ty he broke is arm at school on the 4th day. I was looking at him sleeping last night with his bright orange cast and thinking of Ty. I started thinking what if this was more than just a broken arm that will heal in 6 weeks..I am just so so sad and heart broken for Ty and your family. It really is so unfair. I am praying throughout the day for another miracle for you guys and for this damn cancer to be gone and that sweet little angel just wake up and jump off the couch and say let's go play but if it doesn't happen know that we will all be here to offer whatever support or comfort that we possibly can during this horrible day.
    God bless all of you..praying for a miracle
    Michelle

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  35. I cannot even for one second pretend like I know what you and Lou are going through, but I hope that knowing so many people love and care for you both will easy your pain a fraction! I I feel so much sadness when I look at him, but at the same time know that Ty has been loved and blessed beyond words with the most beautiful and wonderful parents a little boy could ask for!

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  36. We are all whispering the same words right now with you.... out of love . God will carry you through this Himself. Hes got you. He catches every tear and collects them all till the end of time. Each tear he will turn into joy. Blessed are those who mourn, they shall be comforted.
    EVERY SUFFERING can be blessed because it hollows out a place in us for God and his comfort, which is infinite joy.
    praying for you all! you are a beautiful family!

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  37. I never have words that feel good enough to share. I share my tears as I read your amazing words and look at that beautiful boy. Thank you for opening your world to everyone. You're so courageous and strong.

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  38. Cindy, I'm not sure if you will remember me but I was a close friend of your sister's at Marist. You are such an amazing mother and Ty and Gavin are so lucky to have you and Lou. I can't even imagine the struggle and the pain that you have been through and the road ahead. Your story has been an inspiration and I think of you all often. This past winter my son donated all of his piggy bank money to cancer research after seeing me read Ty's blog. Stay strong.

    Heather

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  39. Thought and prayers to the amazing Ty and your family. I think about you all every morning, noon, and night. I am so sorry you have to endure this pain and the suffering. Stay strong and always believe. I know you do!!!!

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  40. Ty's beautiful face is now my desktop background. "after bath photo"..Thank you for sharing him..he is so perfect Momma. In a constant prayer for your lil' man.


    ~Michelle, North Ga.

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  41. I'm so glad you were able to bring the zoo to Ty! I'm praying so much for you guys and will continue to pray for serenity in the days and weeks to come. Still hoping for a miracle! Hugs and prayers.

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  42. Cindy , Take one of Tys used PJ tops and stuff a pillow in it my sister did that when her husband died and it gave her great comfort to hold on to that . So many people have told you to stay strong Easier said than done !! Cry as often as you have to don't try to keep it bottled up you will become sick and Gavin needs you more now tha ever. Sending so much love to Ty , you and your family .

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  43. I have come to follow your story only recently, and am so touched and inspired by you and your family. Thank you for sharing the story of your sweet boy. He is incredibly special.

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  44. Thank you for taking the time to update us in these difficult times. I know it can't be easy. It makes my day when I see these wonderful pictures of Ty. You and Lou are both amazing. Gavin will understand when he gets a bit older why you spent more time with TY. Cherish these days and let others help you. You are not alone in this battle. Thank you so much for sharing. You have made me a better person.

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  45. Ty has done more for us in 5 years than most have done in a lifetime, you are so right. And you are incredibly unselfish to share him with the rest of this world. We are all so much better because of him. As always, you are in my prayers and thoughts.

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  46. my heart goes out to your family. all of God's children are always in my prayers but I will say a special one for your son. God bless and keep him close to his heart.

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  47. Cindy and Lou - Do what you need to get through this. There is no right and no wrong, no silly, it just is. Thus, if it means carrying around a backpack, then you do it and we love you for it. Do not question whether you are or will be a good mommy to Gavin. The fact that you question it makes you already a good mommy. Children are amazing and you have a special bond with Gavin that is yours and his alone don't compare it to another. God, with all my heart, I wish I could ease the pain, make it okay, give you a miracle. All I can is to send you both my love, my prayers, my heart.

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  48. Ty, please dont die. You see how many people are begging you. Please close your eyes when you sleep, please dont be one of the seven. No one can go on without you even people who dont know you. Please dont die. G-D please dont take him he needs to stay here and please dont let him suffer. I am begging you. Maybe some people will get mad at me for saying this maybe some will understand but I dont want him to inspiration for us to be stronger mothers and to teach us more love I dont want him to be the face of pediatric cancer, I just want him to be regular Ty, a son to Cindy and Lou, a brother to Gavin. I dont him to be bigger than life, or too good for this world because all of that means that he is not here to stay. Please dont inspire us or teach us anything, i dont want to learn from you, i want you to be regualr happy and healthy boy as you are. Why can't you. Please Ty, don't die!

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  49. Cindy,
    I would carry that pooping cow with me and all the toys, if people ask, share Ty's story. I understand what you feel all too well.

    I have slept in Tyler's room since we heard the final diagnosis in August 2010. Only recently have I begun to sleep in my bedroom again. Nothing has changed in his room at all. After he died and we had a huge party attended by about 500 people to celebrate his life, we let each of his friends choose a t shirt of Tyler's. When I go away from home overnight I always take something of Tyler's with me.

    I wish I could ease your pain. Love and snuggle and kiss and hug him.
    Diane

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  50. Cindy, I continue to pray day and night for Ty, and for all of you. I have also contacted a friend in Florida, who is an amazing reiki healer, who has vowed to send positive energy to you all, and is asking all of his fellow reiki colleagues to do the same. He acknowledges that while we may not get the physical miracle of recovery, any and all positive energy will hopefully heal your souls, and bring some comfort.

    A candle burns in my livingroom for Ty, and will continue to. He has touched so many lives, and will continue to do so. Coincidentally, the candle is hung next to a big sign that says "LIVE". I will forever think of Ty when I pass by the sign, and the candle. I will forever think of Ty as I parent my own children. Your blog has made so many of us more conscientious parents. You are making the world a better place, one blog entry at a time. God Bless you.

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  51. Continuing to keep your family close in my thoughts & prayers every moment of everyday! I have always enjoyed your blog so much! You should start a book, you're very a very intelligent woman. Thanks for sharing all the pictures of Ty and the family. Ty looks great, I love the side profile shot from yesterday. I too, would carry the bag forever! I would also carry him at every moment possible. I love your perspective on all of this...that Ty is just TOO good for this world. I pray that he does not suffer, not another minute. Gavin is young and someday this will all make sense to him. So relieved that you have a nanny. Breathing and praying...lots of love to The Campbell family. A family I've never met, but feel so touched by! xoxo

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  52. You and Lou are such strong, inspiring parents. I have no doubt you were chosen to be Ty's parents because of your great strength. Such a special boy naturally requires an incredibly special family. I also wanted to mention that I love reading about Gavin; he is the comic relief in your blogs. As I was reading through your blog one morning last week I was crying and felt so much anguish for your family but then I ran across the picture of Gavin's Toy Story doll upside down in the sink, and I could not help but laugh through the tears. My thoughts and prayers are with Ty and your entire family. Thank you for sharing Ty's story with us. It has made such an impact on my life and the lives of others.

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  53. Your sweet boy is so gorgeous and perfect, even at this difficult time. So many prayers and hugs for your family. You and Ty have touched my life in a way no one else I don't personally know ever have. Still praying for a miracle!!

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  54. Cindy, by your strength to share your journey with Ty, you have made many of us appreciate the little things with our children that otherwise we would let go by. Ty is a beautiful boy. My 8 year old looks at his pictures and tells me he is his friend. Our family is praying for all of you. Your generosity in sharing is taking all of us who read your blog on this journey with you. I hope you can feel us beside you...we will walk with you through the future - whatever it will be. God bless you Ty, Cindy, Lou and Gavin.

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  55. I pray for you all every day. I wish I had words of comfort for you, I really do. Thank you for sharing Ty's story wih the world. I've read your blog a long time and it has changed me. I hope god give you all strength and faith as these difficult times continue. Please know even though I have never met you or Ty I think about you and pray for you often.

    Allie

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  56. Cindy,
    I was amazed a Gavin's innocent comment to you, and I think it is so introspective and sensitive. What I hear is him acknowledging what a good Mom you are. I am sure on some level he sees the need for you to be there for TY in the way that you are. And he looks perfectly happy and adjusted, because love permeates your home and he know doubt feels all of it. Thank GOd for all her help to your family. I am sure she was God sent and her time working for you orchestrated by him. Kisses to TY

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  57. My heart aches for you...every morning for well over a year I have read your blog and I sit at my desk and cry and cry wether its good or bad. I have no idea how you have survived this long, you must be so broken...my hopes are that you find peace and comfort and know Ty will no longer suffer. You are a remarkable woman and the love you have with Ty is like no other!!! Be strong...and may I suggest taking a family photo, I love seeing your individual shots but I think a true family photo will also bring you comfort...I know there is alot going on but you will cherish the photo forever. Bless you all!

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  58. Cindy I have to tell you that through all my tears about Ty, the picture of Gavin in his high chair, wearing a Captain America costume and his Mely spoon feeding him his soup while dressed in a Batman shirt just made me laugh hysterical!!! I'm still laughing!! I shared the picture with my 5 yr old daughter, who always ask "how's Ty today," she said "Gavin is adorable, he makes me laugh" I think Gavin is going to comfort you without even trying just by being himself, a silly, adorable, happy little boy! I am still praying for a miracle for Ty, I'm not sure about how you feel about religion, but my parents just came home from the Vatican, I asked them to get me a rosary for Ty and to please have it blessed, they did, and I have it for you, is there a place I can send it to? An address? I really want for you to have them! Nothing but love and prayers for you and your family!

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  59. I went through similar emotions when we were releasing my Mom from her fight with cancer when I was a teenager. I wanted her to go and wanted her to stay, but not stay the way she was in that moment, but stay when she was healthy, happy and free. When I finally broke down and screamed for her to be "free" and she passed that day on my birthday, after she miraculously woke and said Happy Birthday. I know it was the best thing and the right thing but I know the feeling of not wanting to say goodbye. I felt such guilt for years that I did it and asked for her to go. I now understand more and still 19 years later as a mother to a young child have all that my Mom taught me and gave me in her years still with me. You will never forget the love, lessons and life that they have with you all.
    I am still holding out for a miracle with Ty. I have followed you all for so long and love you all like you are our family.
    You are such amazing people and have a family filled with love and hope. One piece of advice my Mom gave me, knowing she wasn't going to be with me when I was older is, Always know if you are worried that you are being a good Mom, that means that you ARE a good Mom.
    You are one of the all time best. The Campbell Family is a inspiration to all.
    Have peace knowing we are all here holding you up, loving you all, and hoping.

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  60. Oh Cindy, of course you would want to whisper to your sweet baby boy "Please Don't Die." Your love in your heart for him is so strong. You are not changing your mind, you are just still believing in Ty and hoping for the most precious miracle. I look at him and I can't imagine his physical presence gone from this earth. I look at him and say "Please don't die." And you know what, it wasn't his day to. And when and if it is, you and Lou will know that and you will whisper the right soothing words to your boy. I really feel that you will know. You are so connected to Ty in every sense of being that you will know. You are his mommy and you have fought for him through this whole journey and you will finish it with him to the very end whether it is in a day, a week, a year or please God let it be 100 years. Oh, Gavin is so special also. I bet he knows why you are Ty's best friend. He looks very smart and I think he has it all figured out and that he is going to smother you will kisses and hugs when you need them the most. I know it will be so sad to see Merly go but just as she was sent here for you and served the greatest purpose and became a part of your family it is almost like when she does go, it was also meant to be because then you and Gavin will become the bestest of friends and will have days spent remembering Ty and doing things in his honor. I hope tonight is a peaceful one. Give that sweet boy of yours extra nuzzles.
    Lynne

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  61. I had a huge smile seeing Ty touch the animals!! That's wonderful part of "the Bronx Zoo" (we'll call it that) came to your home!!!
    Ty has touched thousands & will continue to do so. He sure has touched me & I've been through hell & back with losing my entire immediate family to this horrible disease!!!
    Stay strong! Keep posting & I keep praying. {hugs}

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  62. ps - I'd always keep Ty's bag of "stuff" with me if I were you - who doesn't need a pooping cow to cheer us up from time to time!!! thinking of Ty and sending love, light and hope always!

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  63. Cindy,

    I don't read your blog as often as I should, it is not easy for me to get through. I can not imagine the pain you and Lou must be feeling each day. Your perserverance is inspiring.

    I think back to the "JBSP" days -- the fun times. I also think that without FB and the internet we would have all lost touch long ago. I am grateful that those things exist, so that I can be touched by Ty.

    Your blog, if nothing else, makes me appreciate the little things in life, and to hold on tight to what I have now. You never know when things will change.

    Thank you for sharing.

    Rick

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  64. Cindy,
    I truly don't know how you do it. Your updates are so heartfelt and inspiring. I wouldn't be able to even string a few words together to make a sentence. My prayers continue for you to feel His strength, peace, comfort, and love.

    God Bless,

    Janet
    COLE's Prayer Team

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  65. Cindy, that was a very nice thing bringing the animals to see the boys....... Gavin has gotten so big, and he seems like a wonderful boy. I speak to my sister Mary day and night, and we Pray together For your family, and TY!!! I wake up and have to grab my coffee and get to your blog Praying, for OUR MIRACLE!! I feel like hes part of our family and part of my heart........ And im angry.. I HATE CANCER!!!!@!@ I keep Praying, and have TY on many Prayer lists.. I Love You Cindy..Kathy Brunelle

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  66. You have the biggest heart, thank you is not the right word for the extent of sharing you have done, what you and Ty and your family is going through.

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  67. I keep wishing I had something profound to write. I read this and I pray for you and Ty and Lou and Gavin.

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  68. Its so nice that someone arranged this animal visit for Ty.

    Thank god for your special angel Mely and all of the other caring people around you.

    10,000 angels fill your home. Wishing you rest and peace.

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  69. I had to reread your post, your statement that Ty "has done more good in his almost five years that others will do in 100" is true beyond the words you wrote, your story, his story, has affected and moved so many to places our hearts did not know they would go to.

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  70. I have read your blog a number of times but never commented because I didn't think words could adequately express my thoughts. All I can say is that your blog has deeply touched my heart and that you, your family and your precious Ty are in my prayers every day. I am also praying for a miracle, but if that is not meant to be, I know that you will be reunited with Ty on the other side, but until then, you will have a special guardian angel with a smile as bright as the sun. God bless you.

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  71. I continue to pray every day and every night for Ty and your family. I haven't posted much, because I can't type through the tears, and because I don't have profound words to bring you comfort. But I do want you to know that Ty is my every thought, and I think of you and Lou and Gavin so often. I'm praying that God grants you peace and comfort. I can't stop staring at the pic of Ty wrapped up in his bath towels, because in his eyes I can see the beauty of his love and the light of his soul. I completely agree with Lou-- every feature of Ty is truly perfect, and with you-- Ty is far too good for this world. Ty, and you and Lou, are so very loving and courageous and amazing, and I thank you for sharing your journey with all of us.
    Trish

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  72. Cindy, i love these pictures of Ty with the animals! animals have such a calming effect on children and it is so nice to see him enjoying that. I had shared Your blogs with my son who i told you prays nightly for Ty and i cant wait to show him these pictures!You guys are a daily part of our lives now!And you are sooo right Ty has touched more people in his life than that of a 100 yr old person :)and when i read yesterdays blog to my son he saw you wrote that Ty is to good for this world and he said"see I told you!! Ty's mom knows its true".Prayers to all of you for more making good memories days.Its so hard to believe how you can love and feel close to people you have never met and at the same time be learning so much from such a little man :)

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  73. I hope you haven't thrown away that blue lollipop in the fridge...I have something special in mind for that!

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  74. Look at that face! My God, he is beautiful! Always praying, always hoping for that miracle. God bless you Ty, you and your precious family.

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  75. oh yes, keep that bag of favorite stuff. what a beautiful writer you are Cindy.

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  76. Cindy & Lou, you are incredible and an inspiration to all who have read this blog. I was late to work this morning because my three year old daughter wanted to give me a facial - basically rub fist fulls of lotion all over my face and into my eyes, nose and mouth. I take time to enjoy these moments now where before I would have run out the door and let my wife be the recipient of these. Ty has touched more people than you will ever know. I'm a better father and man because of him. You are all in our prayers.

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  77. Ty: I wish I could hug and kiss you all over. You are such an adorable little boy. I would love to smother you with kisses, too, Gavin! :) Keep fighting, Ty! I will continue to pray for a miracle. Cindy: I can't tell you how much respect I have for you. You inspire me. :)

    Laura in Texas

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  78. Cindy, I have been following your blog & Ty's story for quite some time and have never posted anything because I didnt know you personally and never could find the right words to express how inspiring your family is and how your story has touched my heart. Your words are so beautifully and eloquently stated I am in awe of your strength. You are an amazing mother, an amazing family. I pray for you all. I admire your incredible faith and I hope that it will bring you comfort and strength in the days ahead. Your beautiful Ty will continue to remain in my prayers.

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  79. I love you Ty. Constant prayers for another miracle.

    All my love always,

    Elaine Hinkle

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  80. Words never seem like enough. I just hope you realize that you are not alone and that so many of us love Ty. We are praying for all of you and we have all been so touched by your beautiful boy. I think your strength is a miracle in itself. Your family has been through such horror and you are so strong and truly amazing. Don't ever doubt that your love for your kids is not felt by both of them. They are so lucky to have such amazing parents. Try to stay strong and take care of yourself. Ty has been a gift to all of us. Thank you again for sharing your story with all of us who have never met you but still feel like Ty is part of our family.

    Ann from Buffalo

    Ann

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  81. Cindy & Lou, If it is alright with you, I would like to request that everyone here "you're blog followers & prayer warriors" to take one of these beautiful photos of Ty that you have so generously shared with us and paste it as they're computer background, So that we may all link ourselves together even tighter in one accord.."requesting a heavenly miracle for Ty Louis Campbell, requesting that our prayers be lined up with God's Will, as'well as prayers of Peace that surpasses all understanding for this beautiful family. I pray that we all have been gathered here not to witness a passing but instead a miracle of God's Mighty Hand.In Jesus Name, Amen.

    Michelle, North Ga.


    Matthew 18

    18 Verily I say unto you, Whatsoever ye shall bind on earth shall be bound in heaven: and whatsoever ye shall loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.

    19 Again I say unto you, That if two of you shall agree on earth as touching any thing that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father which is in heaven.

    20 For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.

    ~WHO's with me??

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    1. Im with you! I've been doing this for a year in a half to always remind me to pray for him.

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    2. I'm with with you!! We light a white candle and pray every night and will continue to

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  82. I was walking my son who will be 3 on Oct. 8th around the block after a rain storm the other evening. I noticed he was going to "march" through a bunch of puddles on the side walk and I was about to stop him when I thought of you and your family. So he jumped in every puddle he could. You are having a wonderful effect on so many people, even through your unbelievable hardship. I am lost for words.

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  83. I am truly at a loss for words. Big hugs to you all. I think about you alot, even though I've never met you.

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  84. Cindy
    I am told you are amazing writer, compassionate, beautiful person and have strength no one can fathom. I know that. You had that before. If I had the choice I would have a sister that did not have these qualities and did not have to face the challenges you have. But I do not have that power. I remember being in our pink room hiding under the covers so that the monster (daddy) would not get us. The real monster is here. Our past includes so many beautiful memories from family vacations, college days at Marist, becoming wives and mothers. You have given me such a special gift, my first godson Ty. It seems like yesterday we were struggling to get his shoes on for his baptism laughing though frustrated at the trials and tribulations we will have to endure. We never thought of this future. I had a dream that you asked me to watch Ty when he was a toddler. He ran from me and scraped his knees. You came back and asked me why I let him fall? I want so bad to take your pain away just as I wanted to catch Ty in my dream, but I can't. I want to hid you under the bed in our room, drive you far away or put you in a bubble so nothing can hurt you. I can not do any of that but I can make a promise. I promise that I will always be by your side. I may not say the right thing or do the right thing but I will always love you. We do not know what tomorrow will bring or next year or the next decade. I do know that you are and will always be an amazing, beautiful and strong person. I thank God for you and for Ty. I am a blessed person. I love you.
    Your Sister,
    Theresa

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  85. You continue to bless us with your words that are a teaching for all of us. How to stop and take in what is really important..to be in the moment..I thought of Ty when I noticed the wind blowing through the trees today..please know I am praying for Ty, you, Lou and Gavin as well as the rest of your family..There are so many of us praying for all of you..May God hold you and keep you in the palm of His hand. Love, Kathleen Ryan

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  86. Cindy, I have been following your blog for a long time and never wanted to intrude by sending you a note. I cannot even begin to explain how my heart aches for you, for Lou, for Gavin and for your entire family and circle of friends. Ty is such a beautiful, inspiring little man, who has touched the lives of so many people. I hug my own three children tighter because of him. I pray that you find the strength to get through the road ahead, while still praying that there will be a miracle and everything will be okay for Ty. Please know that you have the arms of many tightly wrapped around you and that we think of you all the time. God bless you all and especially Ty.xxxxx

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  87. You are so right about Ty, I am 63 yrs old and I am a better person because of Ty and I have never met him. He is a special gift and all who know him have to be touched by him. Catherine Trifiletti

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  88. Cindy, you are an amazing mother and God knew what he was doing when he sent Ty to you and Lou. May our heavenly Father hold you, may He comfort all of you. Sending a large hug and continuous prayers to our Ty, whom is loved by so many...

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  89. Hi Cindy,

    It's Nicole, from Animal Experiences. I was honored to meet you and your family yesterday. A friend heard I was there and sent me the below message. I thought it was worth forwarding to you... My thoughts and prayers are with you all...

    Hi NICOLE, Saw your post on FB. Look up Dr. Stanislaw Burzynski, a doctor from Houston, who treats people with anti neoplasm. My wife, Judy was treated there. He has had tremendous success against brain tumors in children. He is a great doctor and a wonderful human being. Just thought that you would want to know. Love to all of you. (including the animals) JOE

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  90. Cindy,
    I know there are very few words that can truly be of comfort right now but I know if Ty were asked, he would say that you are pure love to him. You and Lou are absolutely incredible people who have fought so hard for your sweet boy. Now you are giving him the most beautiful place to soak you all in, wrapped in your love. How can you not whisper in his ear to stay with you. I can't imagine how much you must be aching but please remember how many of us are out there, truly touched by your willingness to share your journey and wrapping our thoughts and prayers around your whole family.
    Cathy from Colorado

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  91. Cindy,
    I am a better Father because of your blog. I have learned more from your family than any Parenting article. My 3 little boys love TY like their own. Your family is talked about at almost every dinner. May you feel the warmth of our thoughts n prayers. Let Ty know he is loved down here at the Jersy Shore!!

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  92. You are such a sweet and loving mother... to both of your sons! And it's okay that you asked Ty not to die. He is your son and you just want to love him. But just know that your love for him will never die. That is eternal. And trust me, you will feel peace some day. And hopefully, you will be comforted by the realization that God trusted YOU with Ty on this earth before he became an angel. And I hope you realize how much you helped all of us. Despite your unbearable suffering, you chose to share with us your raw honesty. You've opened your heart out and shared your pain. I know you say our words help you but you should know that you have a rare and beautiful gift. We are all better able to appreciate our blessings that we so often take for granted. We have prayed together and speak more often with God. I send you my love and prayers with a heavy heart but with warmest wishes for you to feel peace in your mind, heart and soul.

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  93. Cindy and Lou,

    I am a much better mom because of reading your blog. I have learned so much from you. I can not begin to put it all in words. I pray for your family and for TY every day. I am a mom and I have a prescription pill habit that developed because i was given it by a doctor for pain. I was never one to even take a Tylenol then all of a sudden a became addicted to Vicodin. I was embarrassed i did not want anyone to know about this how could this happen to me. I tried many times to stop but could not. I started reading your blog over a year ago and your public struggle and Ty's amazing strength have helped me get off the pills. At first I just cut down every time i wanted to take one i would think of Ty and his family. Its still is on my mind but i am fighting everyday to not take them Ty has been my inspiration to finally get off the pills and be a better mom. This the first time i have told anyone about that problem. I just wanted you to know that Ty's and the Campbell family have saved my life. I am so sorry and i am praying everyday for you all..Thank you for sharing

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  94. You are the best mom in the whole world! You and Ty (and Lou and Gavin) have truly changed thousands and thousands of lives. You make me want to be a better mother every single day.

    I am so sorry and I am praying all the time for all of you.

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  95. Cindy you are truly an inspiration to so many people. Your boys are lucky to have you. You are a wonderful mother & Lou a wonderful father. Mely was a blessing for ALL of you! Please give Ty & Gavin a kiss for us! :-)
    -Debbie, Phil & Luke ♡ xo

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  96. Remember the beautiful rainbow ( sign of hope) at the healing mass last september? The womens story about her cancer miracle. I'm holding on to hope. I'm praying for that miracle Cindy.
    A big huge beautiful brillant miracle. They happen everyday. Why not Ty today! Please Jesus give Ty his miracle today! xo

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    1. In Jesus Name We Ask, Amen.


      ~Michelle, North Ga.

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  97. Your family is in my prayers often.

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  98. You are an amazing woman and mother, both your boys are lucky to have you. I am a NICU nurse with a deep passion to also go into pediatric oncology (it takes a special person to do that)...after reading about your Ty, Im not sure if I could handle it like I do my little fighters in the NICU. I, too, like many of the people following your blog, went to school in Mahopac with his daddy and even though we were not friends, I feel like I somehow am connected to your family. My heart, love and prayers go out to your family and your little fighter with the beautiful smile. He is truly touching so many people and you are the lucky ones to know and care for him. God bless you

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  99. I don't know how you can write Ty's story in such a beautiful way that touched the lives of all those who read it. I have fallen in love with a little boy I have never met, and I can't get him out of my mind. I think of all of you throughout my day. I have told many people about Ty over this past week and I cry each time.
    No one can blame you for telling him not to die. I'm surprised you were able to keep it in that long.
    I pray for a miracle for your beautiful little boy. I'm happy that he had special visitors yesterday. Thanks for sharing the pictures with us. I also enjoyed reading about your date with Ty.
    Stay strong and never doubt what you are doing for Ty. You are an amazing mom and the love you have for him is so apparent.
    Jennifer

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  100. hi cindy

    I deticated another song for Ty and the rest of your family... it's called little wonders by rob Thomas it's a wonderful song

    with love and prayers

    Ali pope

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    1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HhZ1BdMtw_Q

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  101. Praying for Ty for a miracle and for peace and strength for you and Lou. I <3 you Ty!!

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    1. In agreeance.

      ~Michelle, North Ga.

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  102. We are praying for Ty and your family. Your Pawling community is here for you with all wishes for love and light. Our hearts are breaking and we want to support your family in any way we can.

    Love,

    The Emkes

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  103. tracey paradise-bowserSeptember 25, 2012 at 9:23 PM

    OMG I envy your strength.... as a cancer survivor I know miracles happen. I am one. I am praying that through the hundreds of comments you read this. Ty is such a brave boy and it comes from the strength you have. Please don't second guess your feelings you are a first class mommy. I have been praying for Ty and shared this link on my page as have so many others. I am now praying you read this.... I know it may sound like a stupid request but please find and read the book "Angels unaware" by Dale Evans Rogers. Its not about cancer but about an expirience shared as a mom and her child that was a gift on earth for a short time. Its a very very old book.....the insight she shares is so Luke yours..... It will also show you that this blog and ty's story need to be published. Your insight and detail and pain and joys should be shared with the world. Ty's story is his legecy and you should be so proud of how well you have shared him with us. You are amazing and don't regret a thing you have felt or done or do. With little to no experience in this and in no way prepared you have done it all and Ty has through all this, has had an amazing life through you .... the proof is his amazing smile..... much love and prayers to your sweet family..... xo

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  104. I just started reading your posts and I can tell that you are such an incredible person and mother! I have a great deal of admiration for you without even knowing you. Try to continue to remain strong.


    Allison Becker

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  105. Dear Cindy and Lou,
    Tonight I went to a dinner to raise money for pediatric brain cancer. I met an awesome little girl named Thea, who was there in her wheelchair. She's five. Her organization, Thea's Star of Hope helps raise money for children like her, with brain cancer. I went to this dinner because Ty inspired me to do more to help kids like him. The whole dinner I thought about Ty, and how I wished for normalcy for your whole family. Wished that you could enjoy the simple things in life you should be able to do together. Going out to dinner is something most people take for granted. I was there with my husband and my 2 children and the whole time I really allowed myself to enjoy every second of even the most routine moments with my family. Every time I thought of Ty I said a little prayer for him. I felt compelled to write so that you would know the good that Ty is spreading out in the world. I want to thank you for the way you have so eloquently shared your experiences, as it has truly touched others and made us all want to help. Not only that, but your story has inspired me (and many more I am sure) to be better parents...to take real joy in the seemingly mundane and routine. Appreciation for what we have is sometimes lost in the shuffle. Thank you for helping to open our eyes to how lucky we all are. Thank you, Ty, for inspiring me to do more to help others just like you. Thank you, Cindy and Lou, for sharing Ty with all of us.
    Warmly,
    Kristine
    An appreciative Mom in NJ

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  106. The word strength is what comes to mind every time I read your blog. I think how can she be so strong? How can they be so strong? You and your family: Gavin, Lou, and Ty. All of you, like the superheros that Ty and Gavin dress up to be. You are all amazing. My prayers are with you. My heart swells with emotion after each of your entries. Your words have reminded me of the important things in life and have helped me put things into a better perspective. From now on, puddles are not off limits. Thank you so much.

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  107. I love animals! And I definetly love cows! :)
    AND I believe in miracles!
    What a special day, what a great bag of Super Ty's things!
    I keep my prayers for Ty and you all.
    I trust God is reading all your post and all of ours, soooo, God please we thank you for the miracle you have done in ALL of us; but specially in Ty. You have given us tha opportunity to see how he smiles despite all he has gone through. Maybe he knows that after all he will be fine. He has the best parents, family, care and nanny. And that is the secret behind his smile.

    Remember:
    “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” ― Albert Einstein

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  108. Ty, you are in every thought and every action that I do today.. in everything I do today and tomorrow, you are in my thoughts.. I DO believe that you are ready for another miracle, Ty. I do believe. I do believe. I do believe!!!! Wake up and give your baby brother a hug, get ready to play, Ty! Give yourself and your Mommy, Daddy and Brother a miracle! You are in my heart, Ty. Sweet dreams, Sweet Ty. <3

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    1. Amen.


      ~Michelle, North Ga.

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  109. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi26FYUB78s


    ~Michelle, North Ga.

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  110. Caren OBrien-EdwardsSeptember 25, 2012 at 11:06 PM

    Thinking of you all. My heart is aching for you. There are no words...sending positive energy and warm hugs

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  111. I am so touched by your story. I have been following your blog for some time and have been truly touched by your beautiful Ty. I love the way that you write and I am especially moved by the way you are able to express your love for your little boy. Every time I read your blog, I am in tears (sobbing recently) because I cannot even imagine the pain and terror that you feel. I am also guilty of getting stressed over such silly things like work and dinner and cleaning, but you, and your story, have changed that for me. Instead of rushing through life, and taking things for granted, I am trying to cherish time. For example, my son is 3 and wants me to tell him a story every night. I'll admit that I used to want to rush it because I wanted to be able to watch tv or go on the computer for some wind down time of my own. However, since reading your story, I no longer do that. I lay with him in his bed and let him put his arms around my neck. I rub his head and I take my time telling him his story. I cherish every moment, because time goes too fast and I want to remember all of the little things. I know that there are no words to ease your pain, but please know that you are and will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. I am praying for a miracle for Ty and your family. He is precious and deserves nothing but happiness and peace. God Bless all of you!
    With love,
    Kristi

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    1. This right here proves the purpose of this blog. As much as it is a way to spread the word on pediatric cancer, and a way for Cindy to express her thoughts and emotions on this whole terrible ordeal, it is a reminder to everyone that life is too short to take anything for granted.

      Cindy, when people say that you are an inspiration, this is what they mean. You have opened the minds, eyes and hearts of the countless people who have come across your blog and words. Do you know how many husbands and wives have probably reconnected by reading this? How many parents tell their children how much they love them on a more regular basis? How many complete strangers have more courtesy towards each other because of your blog?

      This is why as lucky as you and Lou are to have Ty and Gavin as your children, Ty and Gavin are just as lucky to have you two as their parents.

      God bless all of the Campbell's during this difficult time.

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  112. I cried when I read your blog, so touching yes CANCER SUCKS & it sucks the life out of you I am living it now its scary but for a little child to get cancer there are no words, I pray for Ty & for the rest of you may god watch over you, I pray everyday for a miracle for this CANCER!!! Life is precious to live it to the fullest, This has touched me in a way that makes you really wonder why??? God Bless all of you.
    Nancy Morsch

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  113. Cindy, we have never met, but my daughter attended Christ Church Nursery school, which how I heard about your family. A wonderful place isnt it? I read your blog, and am always feeling your inspiration, hope, humor and love. This past Sunday, the sermon at Christ Church about Ty and your family had most everyone in tears, and appreciation for another day, a day like any other, but with the leaves turning, and a different feeling in the air. Then I went to get my children from Sunday School. One of them had spilled something on her new blouse. I used to think about how I could clean it and wish they could be more careful. But I didnt care, tht shirt wont matter in a year, or even today. Now, I look at construction paper on the floor and muddy shoes and I stop and think "Ty's mother would want this" and I let go. I am sorry for your suffering. Reminding so many of us of what is truly important (not a messy shirt) is a gift, a wake up call, and something that will last forever. God Bless.

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  114. My heart aches for Ty, for you, for Lou and sweet Gavin. I admire your strength and character. Your boys are so very lucky to have you as their mom. None of this is fair, no explanation will ever suffice. We will continue to pray for a miracle. Continue to pray for strength and above all peace in knowing whatever will be is God's will. You have taught us all to stop sweating the small stuff in life. I pray for a cure of childhood cancer and for healing of every child afflcted with the harrowing disease. We all love you Ty <3

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  115. My heart goes out to you and your family. I am thinking about you today in Winston Salem. Wishing you peace and strength - Kyle T. Webster

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  116. I have been following your blog for a while now, I find it inspirational. I am speechless after reading this and have since gone twice in to my sleeping 11 year olds room to just stare at her (in the last 10 minutes)............Your family is amazing, one of strength and courage..I don't think I would have half of that faced with this. I believe you are right Ty is just too good for this world!!! All our prayers are with you and your family as we ask for a miracle.

    The DeStefano Family

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  117. thoughts and prayers with Ty, you and your family...God Bless you all

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  118. Hi Cindy and Ty, i found your blog through Ronan and Maya. Nothing I say will take away your pain and fear. Nothing I say will make it better. All I can offer is my most heartfelt love and prayers for your family. I am so sick of seeing yet another beautiful soul taken too soon. You and Maya are getting the word out through your own personal journeys that it is NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE to turn our backs on childhood cancer. It is not someone else's problem just because it is not our child who is suffering. Ty and Ronan and the thousands of others fighting this beast ARE our children in God's eyes and it is a travesty to sit by and do nothing. Ty, you are a hero. And even with all you endure, I see photo after photo of your beautiful smile.

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  119. My thoughts and prayers are with all your family, especially little TY. God bless!

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  120. Ty, My thoughts & prayers are with you & your family. God Bless.

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  121. Stay strong you are amazing. Your little man isso strong. Hold him and don't let him go! You are so strong. You and your SuperTy don't deserve this shit! Why did this happen to you! Your little Ty is so beautiful. Strength flows through you. You cherish every moment. I lost a loved one to a couragous battle with brain cancer and u pulled me through. Hug him even if he passes hold him.

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  122. Stay strong you are amazing. Your little man isso strong. Hold him and don't let him go! You are so strong. You and your SuperTy don't deserve this shit! Why did this happen to you! Your little Ty is so beautiful. Strength flows through you. You cherish every moment. I lost a loved one to a couragous battle with brain cancer and u pulled me through. Hug him even if he passes hold him.

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  123. Hello! I am a mexican mommy and I just love Ty´s face. He is gorgeous and the best part, he reminds me of my little one. I just came to say that you really really have changed my life and because of Ty´s story I hold, kiss and enjoy my kid even more and do not waste time punishing him or being mad at him. I would be glad to share the picture of him, playing in the mud.

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  124. Hi, my name is Marta and i'm from Sydney Australia. I have

    been checking your blogs everyday and praying that this

    blog will go on forever. I dont think i've cried and smiled

    so much at the same time.I can't go to sleep without

    reading the beautiful stories you share with us all. I pray

    to God to help you and your family have the strength

    and love you all need for Ty. God bless and stay safe (",)

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  126. We dont know each other, but you do know friends of mine, The Rogliano's -John and Jen, as well as an old friend of mine i haven't seen in ages, Joyce Pettrosino who i went to Oneonta with -so i have seen both of these friends of mine post things about Ty on Facebook, and so that is how I have learned of your precious little boy. To say my heart is broken for you is an understatement. I have a 2 year old boy Drew who was actually born on August 12, 2010 (the day after Ty was diagnosed) - I look at your Ty and I see my Boy...and my heart just fills with love for your son, but also with such pain for you. -All i can say is I am soo very sorry...I would give you a million hugs if could! Your documenting this journey on this website is so beautiful. His smile never went away, even during his sickest days...that is amazing. He was so lucky to have been blessed with such an amazing family. My prayers will always be with you, your son has truly touched me so much. An Angel sent to you on Earth, for way too short a time...but now he will always look over you all. God Bless you. Chrissy Cotter

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  127. So sorry for your loss. Glad to see so many people are kind enough to help with your cause. I hope you have a very Merry Christmas and may Ty live forever in our hearts.

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