Wednesday, September 26, 2012

All little boys go to heaven


Ty has been sleeping so much over the past two days.  I was starting to get very worried until he snapped out of it around 2PM and we ended up having a wonderful afternoon/evening together.  I was so relieved because I am not prepared for him to withdraw from us like that.  I need to interact with him.  To see his smile!  I don't know if I'll ever hear his laugh again (other than the fact that I carry that most beautiful sound in my heart everywhere I go), but if I can still make him smile then I can get through the day and cherish the memories made. 

 
Today's smile of the day is brought to you by our friends Stan and Beth.  I have mentioned them before because they always seem to be with us during some of Ty's greatest moments (i.e. when he first stood on his feet again after a month long bout with meningitis, or when he started eating by mouth after his second craniotomy).  Even on their most holy day of the year, they took time out of their holiday to drive all the way up from Long Island and bring groceries and gifts.  Ty loves balloons, and this Spiderman balloon is probably the coolest we've ever seen. 
 
The only thing cuter than this picture is the picture I have in my head of Gavin's reaction to the balloon.  He slept over his Nana's house last night and didn't get home until late today.  He completely freaked out over the Spiderman balloon.  He even tried to bring it to bed with him tonight :)   I wish I took a video of him attacking spiderman with Ty's captain america shield.  


Speaking of Captain America, today Ty told me that he wants ME to wear his Captain America hat (Ty and Gavin got matching ones).  I don't care how ridiculous I look, I promise you I will be wearing this hat all over town.  This winter and every winter.  Ty will be laughing at me from wherever he is, and I pray I will be able to feel those giggles whenever I put this magic hat on my head.  Oh Ty.  You have always been so funny. 


I talked to Ty about heaven today.  It wasn't planned in any way, it just sort of happened when we were alone this afternoon and we were just staring at each other for what seemed like an eternity.  I've tried to talk to him before, but I always get so weepy and he never, ever likes to talk about how he's feeling or what is happening.  Today was different.  Of course I said all of this through tears, but I also maintained a huge smile the entire time and as I spoke I saw real excitement in his eyes.  I can't even begin to tell you how comforting that is. 

"I know that Daddy has told you that you are getting better now.  That you are going to walk, and run, and jump in muddy puddles.  Do you know what else you're gonna be able to do?  Fly.  Do you know what heaven is, Ty?  Heaven is where God lives, and you know how much he loves you.  In fact, heaven is filled with people who love you more than you can imagine because heaven is made of love.  There are so many children just like you there.  And they want to play with you.   A lot of them even had cancer like you, and they just want to hold your hand and have fun all day long!  Heaven is filled with rainbows, and at the end of every rainbow is a giant pot filled with candy and chocolate coins.  And you know what else?  There are muddy puddles everywhere.  You can take the hand of your new friends, run super duper fast, jump as high as the sky and then SPLASH!!"

I was totally winging it, and it sounded so silly when I was saying it, but I think Ty was eating it up.  I had never, ever planned on having a conversation like this with Ty.  Because I refused to believe that he is ever going to leave us.  I still pray with all of my heart and soul that he will be healed, but I also want to be open about the strong possibility that he is going to die.  It sounds so gross to put those words in writing.  I want to throw up. 

Anyway, my mind has been consumed thinking about some of the other beautiful children and their families that I've encountered over these two years.  About Tanner and Ronan especially.  I found a lot of comfort imagining them playing with Ty and I wanted to share that with him.  I even told Ty the names of his friends in heaven, and how much they are just like him.  The hardest part was trying to express the fact that he is going there without his mommy and daddy or brother for now.  I don't know if I did a very good job with that, because I didn't want to scare him by telling him that he is going there without me. 

"Do you remember how I always told you that God is everywhere?  Well, when you go to be with God, you will be everywhere, too.  So you won't really be leaving home, you can be at home with us and in heaven at the same time."  This was about the point where I had to stop before I dropped onto my knees in hysterics.  How is it possible that I am having this conversation with my baby boy who isn't even five years old yet? Is this really happening? 

In my prayers I thank God for every single day with Ty and I talk about how I know Ty is an instrument of God because he's had a positive impact on so many people all over the world.  Then, I can't help but begin the sales pitch.  I tell God... "imagine what an impact he would have if you HEALED him now, with so many people praying for him?  It would be an unquestionable miracle that is talked about around the world!  Ty would grow up to be such an incredible adult, and he would dedicate his life to spreading the glory of your Word, I promise you that as his mother."  As if I have to tell God what His will should be.  I'm only human and I'm desperate.  Lord, hear my prayer.

At bed time, Gavin gave Ty a big kiss and hug and said "I wuv you, Ty, so much."  Then he did something silly that made Ty smile and I whispered "you are his big brother and you have to always look out for that lunatic, okay?  I know that you will take good care of your little brother, always."

Today's biggest smiles of all were at bedtime when Lou made pretend Ty was an airplane and gently flew him around the house and up to bed.  Bedtime is a beautiful ritual between Lou and Ty.  He has always put Ty to bed since the day he was born because Lou used to work later than me and that was his chance for quality daddy time.  Thankfully, Lou has also been able to work from home lately and take a short leave from his business thanks to the incredible support from his best friend and business partner, Charlie, and thanks to his kind staff.  Lou is so afraid that he will miss out on these days with Ty, so he is with us every day and I am just so grateful.  I couldn't do this without him. 

90 comments:

  1. Cindy & Lou,

    I admire your strength and love. You are an amazing woman. I do not know how you do it. I sit here in tears and my heart truly breaks for you guys. I cannot imagine having a talk like that with my kids. I cannot imagine losing a child ever. This is so unfair! I'm telling you I would do anything to just make Ty all "bedda".

    I am at a loss for words. I love you Campbell family.

    Joy Marielle
    Baltimore, MD

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  2. Wow, Cindy you are the most amazing woman that ever lived. You always have been and always will be my idol. I love you so much. I pray for a miracle everyday. God -- please heal Ty.

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  3. You are an incredible Mama and Ty is SUCH a strong brave boy! Your words to him about heaven are amazing and divinely guided... thank you for sharing your story. I can't begin to imagine how hard to walk this journey with your precious child. I pray he is healed and God is strongly evident as He walks alongside your whole family.

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    1. Yes, Divinely guided! I'm so glad you said that, because it's what I've been thinking but couldn't verbalize it. God Bless the Campbell family. praying for healing and peace, and another day of smiles for the Campbells...

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  4. I just finished sobbing incessantly after reading your post, Cindy. You are incredibly brave and full of grace, like your angelic son. God bless you all. Our thoughts are with you tonight and always as you travel down this difficult path. Here is a little prayer I wrote almost 17 years ago for my younger cousin who passed away young and left 2 beautiful young sons behind...
    "You are always around me, inside my full heart and outside my earthly home. I try to gravitate to your perfect state of being, to your purely benevolent spirit, if only for a second you touch me and mend my tortured soul, than I can go on, secure in the thought that the spirit never dies....then I am embraced by your boundless love." This is how I have felt all these yours when I think of my cousin and feel her presence. It's a magnificent feeling. May these words comfort you, and may you rest your weary heart tonight.




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  5. Sobbing big ugly tears. As a mother, I cannot fathom what you are going through. I am so happy that SuperTy had moments to smile about today; he deserves a lifetime of those moments. The words you spoke to him about Heaven are just beautiful...the strength it took for you to speak those words.. unimaginable.

    Time to go stare at my little guy and pray for yours. Praying for peace, healing and many more smiles.

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  6. Thank you for the update. I'm so glad that Ty was awake today and that you got to spend some quality time with him. The pictures of him are beautiful. I cried reading about your heaven talk with him. You are an amazing mom. I don't know how you do it. I was in Stop and Shop today and there was a Captain America toy in an aisle where it shouldn't have been - just sitting there in the wrong spot. I thought of Ty. I hope it was a sign of good things to come for him - here on earth with his mommy, daddy, and brother.
    Squeeze him tight all day and night. Thinking of all of you.
    -Jennifer

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  7. You are amazing. God Bless You, andTy, and Gavin, and Lou. So many prayers.

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  8. Cindy, I don't know how you held it together to be able talk to Ty about heaven. I would have been in hysterics, there would have been no way he would have even been able to understand me. You are so strong,that is why God chose you to be Ty's mommy because he knew that you would always be there for Ty even when to tough time come rolling in. You are an amazing woman. I am glad that Ty had visions of happiness when you spoke about heaven. I just hope that he doesn't leave for heaven for a real long time and I can't give up hope that he will get better, stranger things have happened. I am also glad that Ty finally got up for you so you can share such special times with him. I hope you have peace in you heart knowing that you have probably spent more quality time with Ty in his short life than most of us do with our children who grow old and grey. I know Ty's story has given me a chance to reevaluate my relationship with my kids. Life goes by so quickly and you get so caught up in it that you forget to stop and enjoy each other. You and your family are an inspiration to me and many others. Thank you Cindy, you show me the kind of person that I hope I can be. God Bless! Give Ty hugs and kisses from me. Love you all. Rose

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  9. SO happy for you all the Ty was awake today. What a blessing to have such smiles in the midst of tears! Praying every day for you all.
    Jennifer, Illinois

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  10. I just had to tell you how much I admire you and Lou!! I have laughed with you...I have cried with you! You are such an amazing, strong person and incredible mommy!!! I check on you all daily and keep you all in my thoughts and in my heart!!! I wish more than anything that I could take some of your pain away! I pray for a miracle...and wish you heartfelt comfort and strength during these most precious of times! Sending big hugs...and continuous prayers always!!!

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  11. Cindy, my heart is breaking for you. I discovered your blog last spring when a Pawling friend posted about Ty, and have been following it ever since. Thank you for sharing your beautiful family with us. Your strength inspires me to be a better mother. Ty and your whole family is in my thoughts.

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  12. I have been following Ty for about a year now. I spoke to my Aunt tonight about him and asked her to pray for a little boy named Ty. She said to me , out of the blue, oh yes, he is not afraid. She said, God needs Ty in Heaven and then she said, she got chills. I guarantee you she is not a crazy lady. I was stunned. I didn't move. She said your house is filled with angels, and does he smile? He sees the angels playing and they are waiting for him. He has a message for his Mommy, but not until he gets to heaven. He knows he will see his family every day again and again she said he is not afraid. He doesn't want Mommy to cry she said, he will show everyone in heaven his Mommy and Daddy and brother. I asked how did she know he had a brother. Mommy will have her own angel as long as she is on this earth, she needs to be receptive. Mommy, God and Ty have plans for you. They will need your help. Please don't feel freaked out, I truly believe my Aunt did not even know about Ty before this evening. I pray for your strength in the coming days, God Bless you and your family. God Bless you. You are an amazing family. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  13. I'm so glad you were able to have a nice day together. Your interpretation of Heaven was beautiful! I don't know how you were able to get through the conversation and remain so strong. You're an incredibly strong woman and Ty is a very brave little boy!! Cindy, it's not a sales pitch, it's called a love between a mother and child, so continue to pray and have faith. I will continue to pray for a miracle.........Lord, please hear our prayers. Deb

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  14. Still saying so many prayers. God bless your beautiful family, you make the world a better place.

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  15. Cindy, when I read the headline to your post my heart fell into my stomach. Ater reading more I realized what you were saying. I can't imangine having that conversation with my children, the way you spoke with him your calming words, talking about his friends. What you said to Ty must have been breaking your heart, the easiest thing to do would be not to have that conversation. The amazing mom that you are you wanted to reassure Ty let him know it's a happy and loving place to be, and one day you will all be together again. It took so much strength for me to read it to say it was the most selfless act I have seen you are my hero. Love and prayers to you all. Ty has so many people praying for him that maybe God will give him that miracle I pray for that every day. Love and prayers from Long Island NY

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  16. That is a beautiful conversation you had with Ty. He looks so handsome, as always.

    c

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  17. My heart is aching for you. I am soooo happy your darling boy had such a happy day. He understands more than you could ever know and he WILL watch over you, Lou, and especially Gavin. Love and prayers for Super Ty. Love and support for you all.

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  18. Hi, I hope this message finds you full of love and short on sadness. I lost my precious baby to AT/RT. He was diagnosed at birth and only lived to be 1 month and 3 days old. I'm on a mission to find fellow AT/RT moms. I'm new to this circle as my son was only born in January 2012 and lived only til Februrary. There is such a void after losing your child to such a rare cancer as this and we all so desperately want a cure. I'm not even sure if this message will get to you, but know that you are in my thoughts and prayers and I know the struggle is constant and the pain never goes away. Please take a moment to see my sons story on youtube "Gabriel Cruz Cervantes".

    With all my love,

    Chantal Cervantes

    www.gabrielshalo.wordpress.com/tribute-video/

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  19. I know heaven is wonderful, but I'm selfish and I want Ty here on earth with his mommy and daddy, brother, and other family members. I love this little boy so much. I can't read these updates without busting into a flood of tears. I find myself thinking of him every day. I am fearful everytime I open his website because I am not prepared for what might happen. As a mother, my heart is just broken. My love to your family.

    Laura in Texas

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  20. What an amazing mother you are. You are strong. You are brave. You are simply amazing. Keeping the four of you in my prayers always.

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  21. Hello Cindy-
    I heard of your story after a child in my son's daycare room was recently diagnosed with a similar cancer as Ty's. I read your blog everyday and am in awe of you and your family's strength, resilience, and amazing love. Every evening, my thoughts go to your family. Tears flow from my eyes as I pray for your family, you, and that beautiful boy Ty of yours. God bless you all. Becky, Illinois

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  22. Cindy, you are the most amazing mom. I hope we have a lot of Captain America costumes represented for Ty at homecoming! Ty is the best superhero there is. His smile is infectious and can make all around him smile.
    He is forever in our thoughts and prayers.

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  23. What an amazing person you are Cindy. I have read your story for the past 2 weeks and my heart breaks for all of you. I am thankful to God that you can write such beautiful stories and remembe a beautiful little boy by the name of TY. No one will ever be able to forget him or you and your family. May God Bless all of you.

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  24. How beautiful you spoke of heaven to your baby. It will all be there for him just as you said if Gods will is to take him home now.There is also no time in heaven. Time was created for us here on earth. With no time he won't feel the distance or seperation from family it is like you are already there. Im still praying for a great miracle. I know it is possible. All things are posssible with God. Put your hands on him and pray that Gods great spirit moves through you and into ty for a perfect healing. Believe
    Sending you hugs and prayers to hold you up.
    Kiss ty and God bless you all

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  25. That was a beautiful and perfect way to talk about heaven with Ty. You are incredibly strong and I know that your words must be such a comfort to Ty. What a beautiful smile he has. I'm so sad that this is happening. I am praying for a miracle. Nothing I can write anymore even seems appropriate but I just hope you know what an amazing mother you are and how much we all love your beautiful boy and hope that he is not suffering. I think your strength is amazing but it's ok to break down too. Take care of yourself. I think you and your amazing boy will help each other through this.

    Ann from Buffalo

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  26. Cindy
    I just don't know how you do it. Again I don't have any words to express how heartbroken I am over all of this. I pray for you guys and think of Ty constantly. I hope you have many many many more days talking and enjoying that beautiful angel. God bless all of you and give you all the strength to get through horrible time.
    Michelle
    I'm with you, how about some great miracle that will restore all of our faith in the universe and never let us question anything. It would change all of our lives because we would all know there is always hope and when someone tells us there isn't we could all say one time there was this boy Ty who beat the odds of terminal cancer when people said it couldn't happen. He is now 40

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  27. Your writing is so beautiful and speaks to every heart but more importantly, your son, Super Ty has all our hearts!

    Keeping you and your family in my prayers and always with tears in my eyes because honestly, you are all truly a remarkable inspiration of love, faith, support, hope, devotion and gratitude. If I can be even a smidgen of who you are, I count myself blessed!

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  28. Hi Cindy. This is Melanie's friend in Florida, Howard, who is a reiki practitioner. As she asked of me, I've started sending reiki healing energy to Ty each day and I've asked my circle of reiki friends to do the same. So if a healing miracle is part of his Life Contract, we're doing the best we can to make that happen!
    Melanie mentioned that she knew of people who were contacted by loved ones on the "other side" and I've been interested in topics like that for many years, so that was good information that she gave you. My mother, whom I was very close to, was also interested in the same things and about ten years ago, she and I had discussed her communicating with me after she left this third dimension. She went to the other side two months ago and I was anxious to hear how her last day was for her, since she could not speak that day. After a few weeks of grieving, I contacted an amazingly gifted woman named Sandy (http://psychicscopes.com) who was able to easily communicate with my mom and tell me specific details about her last day, her health problems, and about other family members. That thirty minutes spent with Sandy gave me more comfort than I can describe.
    So, even if a miracle isn't part of Ty's future, have comfort in knowing that you are definitely connected to him forever and there will always be ways to communicate with him.
    God bless you and your family and especially that precious little boy!

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    1. Thank you for your beautiful, kind words, as always Howard, and for sharing that with Cindy... and of course, for working your reiki magic for Ty! :)

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  29. as i was laying in bed praying for Ty and trying to imagine how your days have been lately and wondering what is Ty thinking, does he understand what is happening and that part makes me so sad, i cant imagine. i try to think of every reason why God allows this and one thought was, He sacraficed his own son for us, so he needed a family who was strong more than anyone can comprehend, loving beyond measure and willing to trust Him so the future will have a different outcome for other children.
    Ty- tender
    Louis- loving
    Campbell- care

    i believe in miracles

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  30. Please God, asking that you comfort this wonderful family and very special little angel. We have so much to learn from them.

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  31. Cindy, that little boy smiles everyday because you and Lou are his parents and you are both so determined to make every minute he has on this Earth peaceful and beautiful just like Ty.

    You have an unbelievable gift with words and the way you spoke to Ty about Heaven was simply amazing. You are putting him at ease for whatever will come next and I pray all the time that his days together with you and your family will be continue for a long time. He is such a special boy.

    Always praying for Ty and your family.

    Deena

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  32. I, along with everyone else following Ty's story open your site each morning, and as someone else mentioned, I saw your title and my heart fell. After reading your entry I just had to tell you that your conversation with Ty was perfect. Your strength to get through this seems never-ending. If you decide to publish Ty's story - I think you have your title. "All Little Boys Go To Heaven" Your writing is beautiful, your spirit is beautiful, and Lou - you're amazing as well and I am so thankful you're there with Cindy and the boys. Thank you again for sharing Ty's story.

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  33. "Knee Deep" by the Zack Brown band. It's a happy place song. Your strength is amazing and Ty is superbly special and blessed to have you

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  34. Your strength is so inspiring, and you are just such an amazing Mom! The fact that you had that conversation with Ty even though it must have been beyond difficult for you is proof of that. I do hope that when you wear the Captain America hat around town you'll post a picture for all of your loyal blog readers to see. As always, your entire family is in my prayers.

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  35. You are a beautiful family and my heart breaks reading your posts. Ty has impacted so many people. Always praying for Ty and your family.

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  36. The title made my heart sink today, i got scared. The story was so amazing, the way you spoke to Ty and I loved how you said about that he is getting better and soon will be able to do all he wants to. It was devine. At the same time I was thinking today about how just few weeks ago you posted a blog that talked about a huge moment for Ty, he was riding in the car with you and you captured on a video that he was able to kick hig leg. That is all I can think about. It was a huge improvement, and it was just here few weeks ago and therefore I refuse to believe that he is going. I layed down last night and all I kept thinking is how I dont want to be sad because I dont believe Ty is not here to stay. Like you said before he is just too much too perfect and too precious and he is here to stay. From now on I refuse to believe he wont be cured because he will. He has been on hospice before, and he beat it, then last year when you took him to the hospital when he suddenly wasnt breathing and a doctor went in and operated on him and scratched every f..ing cancer cell from on top of his sinus and he was cancer free for a year. That doesnt happen for no reason. Take that precious boy of yours Cindy and tell everyone around you that he is here to stay. Please let his "team" come up with another option, i hated the other three they gave you. And Ty, please kick the freaking cancer again with your precious legs. love you always. Tatiana

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  37. This is beautiful beyond words. Most of tthose things you told Ty I wished my Keegan will get to experience in heaven. He was 2 when he went to heaven just 10 months ago.....10 months.....it feels like a lifetime since i saw him. He fought brain cancer for 19 months. As i am familar with the pain you are experiencing i will keep you guys in my thoughts and prayers! God bless!

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  38. OMG that balloon is the bomb! So glad your friends came and spent time with you all. And I love Ty's Capt America hat and yes, I hope you wear it all over town all winter long. Better yet, I pray that miracle that makes Ty whole and healthy happens so you have to go buy your own because Ty will be wearing his. Always praying for that. Maybe Ty's been sleeping so much because that miracle is working on curing his body and he needs to rest while it's working it's magic!!!
    Again, thank you so much for keeping us all in the loop - like so many others I am glued to my computer and eager to hear how you all are holding up and hanging in. Sending as much love and hope as I can - SuperTy always and forever!

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  39. From the bottom of my heart I wish you would have never ever had to talk to Ty about heaven. But the words you found to do so were
    simply beautiful.

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  40. Thank you for sharing your story. It inspires me every day to do as many positive things as I can. Ty is my hero and I send Love, hugs, prayers and positive wishes for all of you.

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  41. I cannot imagine having such a difficult discussion like you did with Ty. But you did it beautifully. I'm sure Ty knows that no matter what happens to him that he will be so incredibly loved and cared for. And that is one amazing balloon. I'm glad you got to see his beautiful smile again and again. Thank you for sharing these precious moments with us. I'm still praying for Ty and all of you. Every day without fail.

    Allie

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  42. Cindy,

    I hope you are right and that heaven is a beautiful, happy place for our children. If it is my Tyler will be there to look after Ty. It is amazing how much energy and love and security you give to Ty, Lou and Gavin. Life without a child is hard and horrible. There are periods of sunshine but the hole for me has not filled and somehow that seems right. I wish you peace and love and my help if you want it.
    Diane

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  43. Wow, to hear you prayed about what an impact Ty would have on the world if he was healed......I too have prayed that on SEVERAL occasions!! I pray and talk w/ God about how many people read your blog & FB postings and how many are not saved...how many people don't believe. But, if Ty were healed and he became a beautiful miracle, what a testimony that would be! It is true, it would reach millions if this were to happen. And, I pray it does!

    Please never stop writing. Please never stop blogging. I love to read your thoughts and experiences, even though painful at times, you are put here for a reason. Writing this blog and sharing w/ thousands! I admire you and your family.

    Love to Ty,
    Jan
    Georgia

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  44. I don't personally know you but ran across Ty's Facebook page awhile back and have followed the updates off and on. When I saw the MRI update on the 17th, my heart was aching for you and your family. I started to read the entire blog from beginning to end and what an amazing yet heart breaking journey Ty and your family has been through.

    I have love for Ty and your family and am praying for a miracle once again. You are in my thoughts and prayers constantly and I catch myself checking back for updates several times a day wanting to read more about this amazing boy I do not know.

    Your story makes me realize that the silly, misbehaving two and a half year old daughter I have is a precious gift that I need to not take for granted. Not that I ever have and I know she is a precious gift but it makes me realize how to live each day to its fullest and enjoy every naughty moment she puts us through.

    Ty's story has truely touched my life.

    Your always in my prayers,
    Ashley
    Nebraska

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  45. Just wanted to let you know that you and your son, Ty, have changed my perspective on life and have made me strive to be a better person a better mother, and a strong advocate for children afflicted with cancer. No person should have to endure what you and your family have gone through. But, instead of being buried by the enormity of your suffering, you and Ty have become a voice and a beacon of hope for the littlest and most vulnerable victims of cancer and have reminded all of us that life is a precious gift that should not be squandered. Ty is an absolutely beautiful child; his sweet disposition comes through in all of your videos and in each and every one of his adorable smiles. He is special; he commands the attention of strangers; and may truly be an angel among us. As many others have noted, Cindy, you have an amazing gift with words and have been able to tell Ty's story with such profound grace, emotion, and truth such that anyone who reads this blog and Ty's journey will be forever changed. I know I have. Sending prayers for a miracle, strength, healing and peace for your precious boy and your whole family.

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  46. I took a walk today in the park with my 2 year old. I had Cold Play's song "Yellow" playing over and over just sending prayers to God for Ty and you all.

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  47. Lil Ty is just too precious for this. I have no words as my heart breaks for him....for you...for your family. I swear I think of lil Ty all day long and I pray to God so hard for a miracle. I will not stop praying.

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  48. Every day I pray for Ty and your family. I have a little boy that just turned 4 and I couldnt imagine having to have that conversation with him - but if I did I hope that it would come out as beautiful as it did in your conversation with Ty. Along with you and your family, I will never give up on praying for a miracle for Ty! Always in my heart and in my prayers!

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  49. Praying that you find peace during this difficult time. You, your family and Ty are amazing. Your blog has taught me so much. Please know that you are an incredible mother and so strong.

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  50. Cindy, once again writing threw my tears!! i truly believe God sent Ty to you for a reason. you two together with Lou and Gavin are truly amazing!!but the bond you have with that beautiful beautiful boy is beyond words.i can not even fathom having to have that conversation with either of my children but my god how you did was just sooo beautiful.I keep using the word beautiful but everything about your words and Ty and your family is just beautiful.While i wish Ty was well enough to be a part of the parade in town tomorrow just know we all will have him in our hearts as we march.My little guy is ready to sport his capt.America costume and my older one will be wearing his super Ty tee and squeezing into a Capt.America hat in honor of our own home town super hero Ty!! we love you Campbell Family!! xoxoxox

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  51. Every day, I pray every day for Ty and your family. I have told every single person who will listen about Ty. You are an incredible family. There is a reason Ty chose you to be his parents. He has something special to give this world and you both were chosen to help him do that. As a mom, my heart just breaks and the tears overwhelm me reading your words. Cindy and Lou, I know we will never meet, but I will NEVER stop thinking about Ty. Ty is loved by so many, you can feel the strength of the prayers pulling for him.

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  52. I am going out to buy a Captain America hat in honor of Ty's fighting spirit....I will be wearing all around massapequa proudly so you won't be alone looking a bit crazy! Love and prayers to you all....

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    1. Such a great idea! Boy do I have a lot of hair, but I will pin it on if I have too!

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    2. We should start a movement and all wear Captain America hats in honor of Ty and raise awareness that we need super hero strength to band together to save our children from this horrible disease!

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  53. Speaking as a dad of a 4 year old son (1st born), Lou is an incredible amazing dad. The part about the nighttime ritual had me in tears and so heartbroken and I can't imaging the pain and sadness he is feeling.
    I have been following your journey since inception and I can't even begin to tell you how Ty, you and your family have changed my life is such a positive way. For example, this morning getting my kids to daycare they saw puddles and started jumping in them and saying "mud puddles!". A few weeks ago I would have yelled at them to stop. I followed your advice and said "Jump away"
    I will continue to hope and pray for Ty as I have been for two years. God just might decide Heaven needs its New Superhero sooner than later. But until that time he is my superhero now and forever.
    I am forever greatful to you and Lou for bringing this beautiful boy into this world. He is a true living angel. You have me as a forever friend.
    Joseph Ammirati (husband of Michelle Treiber)

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  54. Oh Cindy you have found the most perfect way to explain and prepare Ty for heaven! I don't know if anyone could have done a better job.I admire you sooo much for all that you have done for your son and for everyone reading your posts. I could never have imagined a way to tell a child so young about heaven and make it sound so wonderful for them to be ok to go there but you did it.I can see him dreaming of the images you gave him and looking forward to it without fear.I also know how hard that had to be for you and do not blame you for trying to bargin with God to let him stay and heal and continue his work of helping and healing others throw Ty. God bless you and I will never stop praying and beleiving in your loving family. I cryed thru your entire post but I do that every day now and it's ok.My tears are shed for you and Ty and all those who go thru this.Thank you for keeping us updated,We love Ty.....Jean <3

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  55. Beautiful pictures of beautiful moments that will be cherished forever.
    Love,
    Taciani

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  56. As I was reading the description of heaven that you told Ty, which is beautiful, my 5 year old son said "I still want God to cast a spell and make Ty feel better". I thought I would share this with you and tell you that every day we ask God to "cast a spell" on Ty so he can stay here with you.
    Love
    Taciani and Noah

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  57. The title of this post scared me so much for a second when I read it bc I quickly just saw boy and heaven.. relieved to have kept reading. How you described heaven to Ty was so beautiful and I give u so much credit for being able to do it without crumbling. You are so empowering and a role model to so many. Ty is so lucky to have you as his mother.
    I loved that spiderman balloon and the size is unreal lol. I also can't wait to see a pic of you in his Capt America hat.. that will be awesome! Love seeing that little boy smile and am praying so hard that it continues everyday! xoxo
    Love Allison

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  58. The title of this post scared me as well, but the rest of the message was beautiful and heartbreaking. I want so much more for Ty and the rest of your family. My heart is heavy with your grief and suffering. I think of your family often and pray for strength and a miracle for you. Blessings be upon you and yours.
    Gina

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  59. I just learned about your little man, and I had a chance to read your entries. Ty is such a special child of God, and he's so very lucky to have such a wonderful family. My prayers are with you all, I pray for many more smiles and lots of good days for you all to share together. Praying for you all,

    Debby Mooney - St. Louis MO

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  60. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUS2E6WLz6E

    God bless our family

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    1. God bless your family sorry

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    2. My thoughts and prayers are with your family. You are all fighters!

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  61. Cindy, Its really hard to say anymore then I already have, but what you did with Ty talking about Heaven was so amazing!!!! You have opened up your heart and soul to the world. God has given you the strength and courage to be there for your sweet little boy.I wish I could be there if only for a moment to be able to give Ty the biggest and softest kiss ever.... My sister Mary and I call each other everyday to Pray for Ty








































    nd your family.........Love, Kathy Brunelle


























































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































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  62. Cindy and Lou,
    First off, even though you may not feel it, you know how STRONG you both are right now, don't you? In case you every doubted it, you just had a conversation with your most greatest gift about going to heaven and you did it out of pure love for your son. I just wanted to tell you both that, that you are strong and it is obvious where Ty gets his super hero strength from. I am glad Lou gets to be there with Ty and you and Gavin during these memory-building days. You two are what keep each other going. I can't say for sure, but I bet that when one of you just can't hold on and breaks down, the other is strong at that moment and vice versa. I think the only thing sadder than hearing that you talked to Ty about heaven is that he already has little beautiful friends there. We have to stop this ugly thing called Cancer from attacking our children. You have started a movement and you have so many followers that I really believe it is going to help in this battle. Ty will be remembered and change things. And I, like you, still haven't stopped hoping for that miracle and that he will be here leading the cause and helping cure this ugly disease. Ty will save children one way or another. I hope tonight is peaceful for all of you and that you had some good memories and smiles today. And, oh, by the way, that is an awesome balloon!
    Lynne

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  63. You are truly the best parents ever. You had conversations with Ty that any parent would want to be able to have in your situation. Yet, I imagine many of us wouldn't be able to it. Your strength is inspiring.

    I am thankful that you have Mely and that she can stay longer. I am also thankful for all of the wonderful friends and family you clearly have. Not all of us have so many great friends, but I am glad that God made sure you did.

    I pray for all of you everyday.

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  64. Campbell Family,

    You have such a wonderful little boy. As I watch your videos of Ty, I think to myself, Why? Why does this little boy have to suffer? I say prayers every day to heal Ty, and I really hope God will listen to and respond to my prayers.

    Your family is in our hearts and prayers!

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  65. Cindy, I have been praying for Ty for months. And I tell my friends about him. I am still praying for him and for a miracle. I just wanted you to know that because you shared your story, I am a more attentive mother. I feel as if what you have gone through has created the closeness you have with Ty that some people can't get through a lifetime with their kids. I admire that. I keep praying for a miracle. You and Lou are truly amazing and Ty inspires me many times a day. Lord, hear our prayers. Vivian

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  66. Cindy & Lou so happy to hear Ty had a better yesterday(read the post this morning could not comment till now) My day was better just knowing that. The pictures you posted were beautiful. The talk you had with Ty about heaven had to be the hardest thing to do. I don't know how you got through it. I know when you look back on that talk no matter what the future holds you will be grateful that you had the courage to say that. heaven is the most beautiful place and you will take comfort in knowing you said those words to him...although heaven can wait a long time the world needs this little angel down here with us he has inspired so many to be a better person/ parent I hope and pray God will wait a long time and give Ty a miracle that we all are praying for..I pray today is another good day...

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  67. "I was totally winging it, and it sounded so silly when I was saying it, but I think Ty was eating it up".

    Winging it? It was the most beautiful thing I've ever read. My heart aches for you, I am so sorry for all of the pain. I have a 5 year old son, who will finally be allowed to play in the rain puddles. Because of you, because of Ty. You are not alone.

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    1. Lol, I agree,,,so beautiful, so real...loved how you told Ty that he had to look after Gavin because he was a lunatic..lol..soo cute..it's gonna take that crazy lunatic to pull us all through, ESP. YOU. ;) Much love to you and Lou God bless him, still in constant prayer for a miracle for your Ty Momma. My heart physically hurts because of you. In hopes to hear from you tonight.


      ~Michelle, North Ga.

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  68. I have been reading your blog for the last year and my heart breaks for you and what I can only imagine you and your family are going through. Your words are so inspiring, so truly touching that I hope you know how much you and Ty are touching all of the lives around you. Since reading your blog these last few weeks, it is impossible for me to wake up each day and not feel grateful for life. These simple things we take for granted, clouds and grass, laughter and smiles, they are so simple yet so important. I thank you and Ty for opening my eyes to what so many of us take for granted on a daily basis. I pray for you all everyday and for a miracle to make Ty well again. xoxo

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  69. Cindy, thank you for your beautiful post. I have never seen heaven described better. May God bless Ty and all those who love him so much. I wish I had the words to express my feelings for Ty and your family. Praying you and your family will be lifted up in this difficult time.

    Susan Staley

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  70. I think the passage of time does not exist in the same ways it does as we experience it on earth - it has always seemed to intuitively make sense to me that decades on earth is a blink of an eye in the other realm, in heaven...we join our loved ones who have passed on before us and to them, no time at all has passed.... If we are no longer "held down" by the limitations of our mortal bodies, there is no time/space boundaries any longer (as you explained to Ty!) We can jump around in time/space and be everywhere. Ty was excited about your explanation because it's exciting stuff! :) Hang in there...maybe his extra sleep is his brain's way of trying to heal itself (fingers crossed). We all need sleep to rejuvenate us each night...your little boy's brain is just working extra hard to heal with all of the energy it's getting from around the world. Sending you loads and loads of positive thoughts. You will get through this. You will. (BTW, that Captain America hat is pretty cool. I want one now too!)

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  71. Lou, that bed time ritual that you have with Ty is something that the 2 of you will always have. it's your special time that you have with your son. Sleeping next to you and hearing your voice right before he goes to sleep makes him feel so safe secure and loved. You are a wonderful father. Spending quality one on one time with your child is something mony can't buy and those are the memories that children remember when they are older. I wish I had a father like you when I was growing up..Ty and Gavin are yours and Cindy's angel but you are also theres..

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  72. Cindy, I usually reply the same day I read your blog. I was in Aww & speechless how you were able to speak to Ty about heaven. Those words were beyond beautiful & I don't know how you were able to explain without falling apart. It's called strength from God!

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  73. Cindy,
    My heart goes out to you and your family. You are such a strong and inspiring woman. Ur son is so lucky to have you as his mother. And he him self is such a strong little boy. My prayers go out to your little boy and a pray he fights and beats this.

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  74. My heart aches for you and your family. I will take what you've shared with us and learn to enjoy the little things more often. Thank you. You are an angel.

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  75. You are a wonderful mother!

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  76. As someone has already mentioned, since time in our life on earth is experienced differently than time in heaven, you can take some comfort in knowing he won't miss you. Our lifetimes here are like but a moment in heaven, so before he manages to wish you were there with him, you will be.

    Even now, at 40 something decades seem so short. I can only imagine the brevity time on earth becomes once it's experienced as eternity.

    I found you through rockstarronan.com and have read back through your blog. My heart aches for you and your family and you are in my prayers.

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  77. Dear Ty, Cindy and Lou. My son Luke is 3, he has been asked to participate in a trike a thon for st. jude and i would like him to ride in Ty's honor. in fact i'd like the school to ride in Ty's honor. I contacted St. Jude and they will provide a keepsake for you and your family. Ed F is trying to get in touch with you Mom to confirm. I know you are extremely busy but let me know when you can. I have already collected over 400.00 since yesterday in Ty's name. I also live in Pawling. Thank you. Melissa Mullamphy 8452228851

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  78. CINDY,

    THE BUTTERFLY

    SHE HAD HIM THERE, RESTING ON THE PALM OF HER HAND FOR A WHILE.
    HE WAS ALL SHE EVER WANTED.
    SOMETIMES HIS WINGS WERE CLOSED.
    MOTIONLESS.

    AT OTHER TIMES, HE SPREAD HIS WINGS OPEN IN THE BRIGHT SUNSHINE, DISPLAYING HIS COLOURFUL PATTERNS.
    SHE TRULY LOVED HIM.
    HE KNEW THAT.

    HE WAS BORN TO FLY.
    HE HAD BEEN BEAUTIFUL IN HER HAND, BUT IN FLIGHT HE SOARED.
    IN THE GARDEN AMONGST THE COLOURFUL, SWEET-FRAGRANCED FLOWERS.
    HIS HABITAT.
    FREE.

    IN LETTING HIM GO, SHE MADE HIM HAPPY.
    BUT HE WAS ALWAYS TO REMEMBER HER WARMTH AND HER LOVE.
    ALWAYS AND FOREVER.
    FOR ALL OF ETERNITY.

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  79. I sit here typing as tears roll down my face. I am utterly at a loss for words to express how much pain and anguish I am feeling for your family. All this has just been so, so, so unfair your you all. I keep asking myself how can something so evil and disgusting happen to such a beautiful little boy. In every photo I look at of Ty, all I see is a perfect little human being. He has such strength and courage - it is truly amazing. I'm sure there are moments he is in such pain and yet he smiles through it all. This little boy has so much to teach us yet. In his five years here in this world, he has already touched the lives of thousands of us and have made us a better mom, dad, friend, person. Imagine what he can do in the next 100 years!!! Oh, God, please let him stay!

    Cindy, you and Lou and Gavin, and your beautiful Ty has changed me so completely and for that I am forever grateful. Because of all of you, I have become a more patient and understanding and less stressed out mother to my two little boys. My sons are 6 and 3 1/2 years and as a full time working mom, it was so easy to get upset over the little things after a long day at work. But now, whenever I find myself starting to react in that old familiar way, I think of you and Super Ty and I stop. I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. I am now in awe of every moment I have with my children.

    I know we have never met but as with so many of us out here, I feel like you all are a part of my family. Thank you for allowing us into your lives and sharing your little angel with us. Please know that we are here to support you any way we can and that you will NEVER be alone.

    My boys and I sang Ty the loudest and silliest Happy Birthday on his birthday as we all held hands in a circle. They wished for Ty to get better. I lit a candle and will continue to do so for Super Ty. I hope his days ahead are bedda! We look forward to celebrating his 6th!

    Sending a GAZILLION hugs and kisses your way! I will pray for you all always.

    Santi, NY, NY

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  80. My son Casey will be wearing a captain america hat all winter also in honor of Ty. So proud to be able to get it for him. Thank you

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