An extra special day

I've said before that this whole experience has helped me to appreciate every day as a gift, but yesterday I was at a pretty low point and struggled to keep a smile on my face. After a number of very long consecutive days where Ty was suffering and my life didn't allow even a moment's peace, I felt like I was close to my breaking point. I cried to my mother because as much as I don't ever want this to "end" because of what that may mean, i felt so vulnerable and so guilty for feeling miserable in my everyday life. I felt so ungrateful because i should love every minute of my life as long as Ty is in it, but the truth is that there are times that I don't. I have some very rough days, even when we are just home, because nothing is normal.

God was listening last night, because today was magic. Ty has been feeling good all day, and we were even able to get out of the house. When ty is feeling up to it, our only ritual in the past four weeks has included going to the supermarket and getting Ty a drive-thru happy meal (that he doesn't even eat more than half the time - but he insists on buying it). I don't know why, maybe it is just a comfortable routine for Ty because it's close to home with no surprises. Today, we drove right past the McDonald's and Ty said he didn't want a happy meal. Eureka! I decided to take a nice long drive through Westchester to see if maybe, just maybe, we could do some shopping and try something different for a change.

We went into a couple of cute gift shops first. Ty was pretty melancholy through it all, but at least I was able to buy some well overdue gifts. I didn't think we would make it anywhere else, but then ty said he wanted pizza! I swear I almost cried. We sat down at a little pizza place and ate such a nice lunch together. When he said he had to go to the bathroom, I almost panicked because i didn't have a urinal or "pee-pee can" with me, but Ty was happy to just use the potty. Again, I was shocked. Then we stopped at Target on the way home, I got a cup of Starbucks at Ty's suggestion, and it couldn't have been a better day. He never once complained of a headache. It felt so beautifully normal!!!

Today was just what I needed. Pizza and a trip to Target with the best boy in the whole world. It was pure bliss.

Comments

  1. Kathy BrunelleJanuary 6, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    WHAT A WONDERFUL BLESSING!!! I WANTED TO SHARE WITH YOU, THAT EVERYDAY, WHEN IM IN MY LAB, I HAVE PATIENTS COMING IN AND I KNOW IN MY HEART THEY ARE ALSO CHRISTIANS.. I HAVE TY'S PHOTO UP THAT MY SISTER MARY SENT ME.. AFTER I DO WHAT I NEED TO MY PATIENTS, WE HOLD HANDS AND SAY A PRAY FOR TY.. THIS HAPPENS EVERYDAY.. WE LOVE YOU, AND WE LOVE TY SO SO MUCH.. GOD BLESS HIS SPECIAL DAY.. LOVE KATHY BRUNELLE

    ReplyDelete
  2. Colleen RosenJanuary 6, 2011 at 11:35 PM

    That sounds like a good day.

    I can't imagine how beat up you feel. It tears me up inside :(

    If there was someone to blame I would beat them up and kill them for you.

    ReplyDelete
  3. UnknownJanuary 6, 2011 at 11:40 PM

    that sounds like the perfect day to me. I am so glad you were able to have what you called a normal day. still praying that each day is like today. sending tons and tons of prayer your way.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Debi FossatiJanuary 7, 2011 at 9:03 AM

    I Love you Cindy!

    ReplyDelete
  5. ChristinaJanuary 7, 2011 at 12:39 PM

    Cindy, you are an amazing and incredible individual. Ty is so fortunate to have you as his mom.
    I carry Ty in my heart and mind everyday.
    Christina

    ReplyDelete
  6. Marilyn BeckJanuary 7, 2011 at 1:15 PM

    Hi Cindy, I don't have your email but I just wanted to let you know that there is a small sledding hill behind the tennis courts perfect for little kids. Not sure if ty is up for it but maybe Gavin... anyway I just wanted to let you know that. We have tons of sleds, big and small so you could always use them if you wanted to. I was happy to read this post. I am glad you had a good day especially going to Target and I am so happy that Ty was feeling good yesterday. Always praying for you, Marilyn Beck

    ReplyDelete
  7. UnknownJanuary 7, 2011 at 1:25 PM

    Don't ever underestimate the power of prayer. So happy to hear that you had a wonderful special day. Cherish those moments and let them help you drive thru the bad times. We love you guys and think about you all the time.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LauraBonuraJanuary 10, 2011 at 10:21 AM

    I'm so happy you had a great day with Ty! You all deserve those blissful days!!! I hope he has more and more of those kinds of days, and that you all are granted a miracle!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. TraceyJanuary 10, 2011 at 10:27 PM

    I can't even find the right words to say what an amazing mother you are. honestly, that seems too ordinary for an extraordinary woman like yourself. the fact that you are so honest and open about what you're feeling one minute, but then refocusing yourself on the wonderful day you had with Ty...you are an inspiration for us all. I keep saying it and I'll say it again. Ty is so lucky to have YOU as his mommy. I hope that one day i can be as good of a mom as you are to your little boys. I'm praying all the time for Ty, and am wishing for a miracle so hard.
    Thanks for letting us take this journey with you.

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    Thank you for sharing your life with all of us. You are amazing, and my life is fuller for knowing you and your family. Your candor about all of this is incredible, and you have no idea how many lives you and your family have touched.

    Glad you and Ty had such a wonderful day.

    Love and prayers,
    Maria

    ReplyDelete

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