When my first son was born, I was a quintessential “new mom.”  God gave us this incredible gift.  He entrusted me to take care of this most beautiful baby?!?!  The weight of that responsibility was tremendous.  I wanted to be perfect for him because I never loved anything like that before in my life. I bought every ridiculous and completely unnecessary gadget available.  I actually liked going to Babies R Us and browsing this unknown territory of all things soft and fuzzy (or Buy Buy Baby, even better).  Did I really think that the PeePee TeePees I purchased for $11 were going to spare me from getting pee’ed on once in a while?  I pored over every single thing that went in his mouth, and I beamed with pride over how he just loved his peas and carrots, I must be doing something right! (I didn’t realize that pretty much all babies eat their vegetables when they’re only six months old).  Every tiny little thing Ty did prompted a phone call to my mom, and my husband, and whoever else

There is a beautiful young boy who is fighting for his life tonight.  Justin Miller has been fighting cancer for seven years, and he is only 11.  He had multiple relapses.  His story reminds me so much of Ty, only with all of the ups and downs extending into many more years.  I fell in love with Justin when he was designated an ambassador for St. Baldrick's in 2012, and when I saw his incredible video on the Stand Up 2 Cancer telethon while Ty was home on hospice in September 2012.  The picture of Ty below, with his hands in a heart, were taken at that same time.  Not that I need a reminder, but days like today, when I read about what Justin is going through and how his journey has taken another unfair turn - a really bad one - inspires me to share this event again, because it is a reminder of why we do what we do so passionately. And, because "everyone can give a half a sandwich." as my friend Mary Pallotta taught me.  Although, in this case I realize it's more l

"Ewww.  Did someone make a poop in this bathroom?" "I don't know, Gavin - you tell me?  You were the last one to use that bathroom." "Hmm.  I don't wee-member.  But I fink so because I see a couple of poop crumbs left." Never, have I ever heard anyone use the term poop crumbs.  I find it so amusing, so much so that - you saw it here first - I went ahead and prefaced it with a hashtag.  This one is right up there with Ty calling Hannford's "HeineyFarts."  Kids are just so funny!  When did my baby become a "kid" anyway?  Where did my baby go? I guess I first realized he was growing up when he announced "My butt has to tell you something," before farting.  Ahh, the joys of motherhood.  Boys will be boys :)  I swear, I promise, I really don't know where he gets this from and NO I don't condone it - although sometimes I do have to hide my chuckle in response to his ridiculous potty humor.  Gavin has had

Today we spent the first day of 2014 on the slopes in Vermont.   The cold, crisp air really helped me get out of a funk I’ve been since Christmas. I tried to imagine Ty soaring around the mountain with me, perched on my shoulder – but of course that idea can’t overpower the real longing in my heart, and the feeling of remorse when I consider the fact that here I am enjoying another treat in life that Ty will never get to experience. I know, I know.   New year, new chapter in life.   Moving forward.   Resolve to eat well, be healthy in body, mind and spirit, have more fun, all that stuff.   But for me, on this New Year’s Day, I am stuck on reflecting rather than moving on.   I can’t help it.   The holidays are hard and I’m a little stuck in the past.   Remembering Ty and reflecting on an entire year without him.   How did that even happen?   Gavin has grown so much, I am always asking him, “where did my baby go?”   I haven’t been very present this past year, and I feel like so much