Tuesday, October 17, 2017

1841 DAYS

In 1,841 days, Ty Louis Campbell lived a remarkable life.  His life was filled with such great love, and this love transcends time.  It is still just as strong and palpable today as it was before he died, and I can feel him in my heart when he is near.  I never sense that his spirit is above me, or beside me… rather, he is always just behind my right shoulder, like where he sat in the backseat of my car.  Just close enough that he is a whisper in the ear and a warm breath on my shoulder.  

I watched my baby boy suffer for almost half of those 1,841 days.  Seeing him under certain circumstances in the hospital were as difficult to watch as if my child was strapped to a chair being tortured.  I helplessly witnessed his excruciating pain, and when the treatment failed to save his life, I was left to live the years that followed plagued with guilt for allowing it all.   

Today is a hard, hard day.  My loving son, the boy who made me a mother, was in my life for exactly 1,841 days.  And today, I have lived without him for 1,841 days.  Tomorrow will be day 1,842, because for some reason, my heart continues to beat although he took a huge piece of it with him.  I will open my eyes tomorrow morning and it will be the day that he has been gone for longer than he was here.  I accept this truth because I can’t change it, but I will never understand it.  

I often read about grief and coping, and somewhere I read one mom reflecting on the act of begging “let it be me, instead.”  She claimed that her wishes came true because her child died and was no longer suffering, but she was left with a pain so great that she will never recover.  It rang true for me.  

When Ty was sick, I used to pray for physical torture.  Do anything and everything to me so my son could be saved… because no pain could be greater than watching him hurt.  I didn’t know yet, that the grief would be even worse.  

However sad and heavy this day is, I can’t allow our love story to be dark.  Where there is love there is light and these 1,841 days without him have had many glimpses of that.  Just as our time with him had it’s share of pain and trauma, our time without him has been sprinkled with good fortune.

My relationship with Lou has been tested so much over these past five years, that we learned just how inseparable we are.  He is my other half, and I am his.  Gavin has grown into a remarkable boy who keeps us laughing and I can’t hug him enough.  Bodhi Ty was born on October 18, 2016, and his smile makes everything feel better.  Our friends and family take such good care of us, which reminds us that we are still blessed.  The nonprofit we founded in Ty’s memory continues to thrive, and the office is regularly filled with ladybugs (as is our house - by the hundreds at times).  His spirit remains so connected with mine, and the love we share will never diminish.  

In 1,841 days, I was transformed.  I never loved so deeply.  I never saw so much pain.  I never knew a child with cancer.  I never saw anyone die.  I never imagined it would happen to my son, or to me, until it did.  I never had such faith in God and so little religion, and I make a conscious effort to be a gracious griever because of that.  I don’t pray for anything anymore.  None of my most desperate prayers have ever been answered and I have to resist the urge to question.  So, instead, I’ve relinquished to God’s will over the years, and started making a habit of being grateful.  No matter how difficult a day I might have, I remember what I am thankful for and say a prayer or thanks.  Upon closing my eyes each night, the first thing I express gratitude for is the 1,841 days that I was lucky enough to hold my boy in my arms.  



Thank you for being on this journey with us.  

16 comments:

  1. I am John Danilla from UK( northern ireland), i want to share a
    testimony on how a powerful spell caster cured my HIV disease, i was
    diagnosed of this disease, in the year 2009, last week i saw a testimony on
    Dr.Akioya on how he cured an HIV patient, so i contacted him through phone
    call and he asked me to email him, which idid, so he told me that all my
    problems is over and then he decided to do an healing spell spell for me so
    after he finished it, he told me to wait for just 24 hours and then i
    should go for a test, so i really did as he had said, so my greatest
    surprised when i went to the hospital to go for an HIV test, the Medical
    doctor diagnosed that, i am now HIV negetative at first i was amazed and
    now i have come to realise that this spell caster Dr. Akioya is a very
    powerful one and a real spell caster. So viewers of this should please join
    me in my celebration for i am the happiest man on earth today and if you
    want to contact him, you can do this via his email
    (drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com or call him or whatsapp him
    +2348105257464.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Greetings to the general public, i want to give a testimony about how i was cured of HIV/AIDS disease by a Doctor UDI I was browsing through the Internet searching for remedy or latest treatment on HIV and i saw many comment of people talking about how Doctor UDI cured their HIV/AIDS. I Was scared because i never believed in the Internet but i was convince to give him a try because i having no hope of been cured of HIV/AIDS so i decided to contact him with his email that was listed on the comment ( drudiherbalhome@gmail.com ) when i contacted him he gave me hope and send a Herbal medicine to me that i took and it seriously worked for me, am a free person now without problem, my HIV result came out negative. I pray for you Dr UDI God will give you everlasting life, you shall not die before your time for being a sincere and grate man. Am so happy today, you can also contact him if you have any problem Email: ( drudiherbalhome@gmail.com )) tel or via what-app: +2348051243538

    ReplyDelete
  3. suffering from HIV disease for over 4 years, i was hopeless until one of my friend directed me to a man called Dr Udi, she said he cures the sickness and also said he has also helped her friend, i never believed her but after alot of talk, i decided to give him a try, just few days ago i contacted him and he told me what to do which i did and he gave me a herbal cure which i took and then he told me to go for a test which i also did and when the result came out i was surprised to see that i am negative. I am proud to tell you the i am the most happiest person on earth I Give thanks to Dr Udi.. If you are having any problem and you need help, You can contact him with his email drudiherbalhome@gmail.com or Whatapp: +2348051243538.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It’s obvious some patient with HERPES/HIV/CANCER are been enslaved to the antiviral and other supplementary Orthodox medicine just to help suppress the virus and not a cure. I have been with the virus since 2012 until I was introduce by a blogger who also narrated her story online on how she was cured of Genital Herpes after using Dr odoma herbal Medicine. This is a year and 2 weeks since I was delivered from Herpes. All thanks to God for using this Great herbalist to heal me. I have promise to keep telling good about Dr odoma Please fill free to share Your problems with him and don’t forget to tell him I did refer you to Him. Thanks. Write him on gmail drodomasolutionhome20@gmail.com or WhatsApp him on +2348100649947. He deals with Alzheimer virus, Copd, Cancer HIV Herpes Genital warts ALS BV UTI Virginal infection Genital Wart HPV Hepatitis A/B Good luck HSV Pregnancy Ex back

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm so exited to share my testimonies about the Good Work of Dr. Imafidon who cured my HIV/AIDS with his herbs, I never thought that I will live on earth before the year runs out. I have been suffering from a deadly disease (HIV) for the past (2)years now; I had spent a lot of money going from one Hospital to another looking for way to get rid of this disease, the hospital have been my home everyday residence. Constant checks up have been my hobby not until this faithful day, I was searching
    through the internet, I saw a testimony on how Dr. Imafidon helped someone in curing his HIV disease using his healing
    Herbs, quickly I copied his email just to give him a test I spoke to him, he asked me to a preparation for the herbs items, of which I did exactly what he instructed me to do, he told me that he is going to provide the herbal cure to me, which he
    did, few days after i went back to the same hospital that previously confirmed me as HIV/AIDS positive and this time the result declared me negative to the deadly disease of HIV/AIDS....so I decided to share my testimony, that nothing is impossible with God, God use a man to healed me. No matter what you are passing through, no matter how deadly the sickness is and no matter what the situation is God that did mine is still going to do yours, suffering from AIDS, ALS, asthma.. Cancer, any kind of disease, you can rich him now via ? Gmail address: (DR imafidon0 @gmail. com) WhatsApp number +2348100649947

    ReplyDelete
  6. suffering from HIV disease for over 4 years, i was hopeless until one of my friend directed me to a man called Dr Udi, she said he cures the sickness and also said he has also helped her friend, i never believed her but after alot of talk, i decided to give him a try, just few days ago i contacted him and he told me what to do which i did and he gave me a herbal cure which i took and then he told me to go for a test which i also did and when the result came out i was surprised to see that i am negative. I am proud to tell you the i am the most happiest person on earth I Give thanks to Dr Udi.. If you are having any problem and you need help, You can contact him with his email drudiherbalhome@gmail.com or Whatapp: +2348051243538. or you can visit his website:
    https://drudiblogaddress.blogspot.com/
    https://drudiherba.home.blog

    ReplyDelete
  7. Grateful to DR UDI for all his help for my life, my partner was having Herpes Simplex Virus, and we were planing on getting married, when we decided to get ourselves tested first and we found out that my Girlfriend was HSV 2 Positive, my Girlfriend was so unhappy, because this was a barrier for us to get married, so i went out to search out a remedy for my partner, and it was so surprising how DR UDI has been a blessing and healing to the masses, after reading about his work on a blog i immediately emailed him: [Drudiherbalhome@gmail .com] and he wrote back to me that my Girlfriend will be OK and that we will get married the same year also, i couldn't believe it, after doing all that is needed to be done, i was surprise that after 2 weeks of using his medicine my Girlfriend went to the doc and was diagnose negative. For more info contact his email (drudiherbalhome@gmail .com) or call or what-app him via +2348051243538 and you will get your illness cure visit his website
    https://drudiblogaddress.blogspot.com/
    https://drudiherba.home.blog

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hello everyone i Am Ben Mark and i am from USA i am here to give my testimony about an herbal doctor called Dr,Akioya I was heartbroken because i had very small penis,not nice to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but could not offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr,Akioya and decided to email him on his email i saw on the internet,(drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com ) so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal product for Penis Enlargement, Within three weeks of me use it, i began to feel the enlargement, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 8 inches longer, and i had to settle thing out with my ex girlfriend , i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my performance in bed and i now have a large penis.thanks to DR Akioya for is herbal product. you can also reach him with emsil drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com though is..number WHATASPP him today on this number [ +2348105257464 ] you can checkout is website; http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  9. I want to share a testimony of how Dr.Omohan herbal mixture cream saves me from shame and disgrace, my penis was a big problem to me as the size was really so embarrassing,and i was also having weak erection problem. I can't make love to my wife and my penis was just too small a full grown man like me having 4 inches penis and to worsen it i don't last in sex i cant even last two minutes it was really a thing of shame to me. My wife was really tired of me because my sex life was very poor,she never enjoyed sex,i was always thinking and searching for solutions everywhere until when i saw a testimony of how Dr.omohan herbal mixture cream have been helping people regarding their sex life, so i decided to give him a try and to my greatest surprise in less than one week of taking the herbs my penis grow to 8 inches i couldn't believe my eyes and as i speak now my penis is now 8 inches and i do not have week erection again. I can make love to my wife longer in bed. And my marriage is now stable,my wife now enjoy me very well in bed. can contact him dromohanherbalmedicine@gmail.com or call or what-apps him through +2348164816038. . .he also specialize on the following things

    1. HIV / AIDS
    2. HERPES 1/2
    3. CANCER
    4. ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease)
    5. Hepatitis B
    6. chronic pancreatic
    7. emphysema
    8. COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)
    Thanks for the Enlarging my penis sir, you indeed save my marriage...I am really grateful sir,

    ReplyDelete
  10. I'm here to testify on how DR Ogudu was able to help me bring back my husband to me who was under a love spell. My name is Jane Poppleton from United Kingdom. I have been so faithful to my husband, we both enjoy our marriage life not until the wind blew off the candle. My husband became a monster in a human form, his attitude changed, he begins to keep late hour forgetting he is marriage. I kept on trying to talk to him about his sudden change but he felt so unconcern. I can't just sit and let my home fall apart rather i spoke with my friend about it. She smiled at me telling me that i have no worries anymore. I asked "how?" and she told me about DR Ogudu miraculous works. She gave me his email and i wrote him directly at Oguduspellcast@gmail.com concerning my family issue. I got a response from him and he told me not to feel worried anymore. DR DR Ogudu gave me every bit of his words saying that my husband will be mine just the way i wanted it to be and gave me an interval of three (3) days. On the third day, while i was at my garden, my husband came to me on his kneels asking me to forgive him for he lost control over himself. I smiled and told him I always love hime and i will always continue to love him. Today myself and my husband now live happily and things are moving more than fine for us. DRDR Ogudu i say a big thank you for your help.you can contact him with his EMAIL ADDRESS Oguduspellcast@gmail.com him +1316 844-0076

    ReplyDelete
  11. I want to share a testimony of how Dr.Omohan herbal mixture cream saves me from shame and disgrace, my penis was a big problem to me as the size was really so embarrassing,and i was also having weak erection problem. I can't make love to my wife and my penis was just too small a full grown man like me having 4 inches penis and to worsen it i don't last in sex i cant even last two minutes it was really a thing of shame to me. My wife was really tired of me because my sex life was very poor,she never enjoyed sex,i was always thinking and searching for solutions everywhere until when i saw a testimony of how Dr.omohan herbal mixture cream have been helping people regarding their sex life, so i decided to give him a try and to my greatest surprise in less than one week of taking the herbs my penis grow to 8 inches i couldn't believe my eyes and as i speak now my penis is now 8 inches and i do not have week erection again. I can make love to my wife longer in bed. And my marriage is now stable,my wife now enjoy me very well in bed. can contact him dromohanherbalmedicine@gmail.com or call or what-apps him through +2348164816038. . .he also specialize on the following things

    1. HIV / AIDS
    2. HERPES 1/2
    3. CANCER
    4. ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease)
    5. Hepatitis B
    6. chronic pancreatic
    7. emphysema
    8. COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease)
    Thanks for the Enlarging my penis sir, you indeed save my marriage...I am really grateful sir,

    ReplyDelete
  12. Dr Itua cure my HIV, I have been a ARV Consumption for 10 years. i have been in pains until i came across Dr Itua on blogs site.I emailed him about my details of my HIV and my location i explained every thing to him and he told me that there is nothing to be scared of that he will cured me, he gave me guarantee,He ask me to pay for items fees so when i'm cured I will show gratitude I did and giving testimony of his healing herbs is what I'm going to do for the rest of you out there having HIV and other disease can see the good work of Dr Itua.I received his herbal medicine through EMS Courier service who delivered to my post office within 5 working days.Dr Itua is an honest man and I appreciate him for his good work.My GrandMa called him to appreciate him and rest of my friends did too,Is a joy to me that I'm free of taking Pills and having that fat belle is a nightmare.you will understand what i'm talking about if you have same problem I was having then not now though.I'm free and healthy Big Thanks To Dr Itua Herbal Center.I have his calendar too that he recently sent me,He Cure all kind disease Like,Cancer,Weak Erection,Wart Remover,Hpv,Herpes,Fibromyalgia,Hiv,Hepatitis B,Liver/Kidney Inflamatory,Epilepsy,Infertility,Fibroid,Diabetes,Dercum,Copd ,and also Bring back Ex Lover Back..Here his Contact .drituaherbalcenter@gmail.com Or Whats_app Number +2348149277967

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks to chief dr lucky, I am from USA, I was diagnosed of Emphysema (COPD) in 2015 and I have tried all possible means to get cured, i even visited phonologist but all to no avail, until i saw a post in a health forum about a herbal doctor from Africa who prepare herbal medicine to cure all kind of diseases including Emphysema, at first i doubted if it was real but decided to give it a try, when i contacted this herbal doctor via his email he sent me the Emphysema herbal medicine through courier service, when i received this herbal medicine, he gave me step by instructions on how to apply it, when i applied it as instructed i was totally cured of thisdeadly disease within 12-14 days of usage, if you are suffering of this diseases you can as well Contact this great herbal doctor via his email: chiefdrlucky@gmail.com > or call him at +2348132777335. Website: http://chiefdrluckysolutionhome.website2.me/





    ReplyDelete
  14. How can i ever stop saying thank you to Dr Movo, After taking his product today my sexual life is health and balance am living up to my wife expectation. For the past 11 years i have been struggling with weak erection and premature ejaculation. I have spend money on it but no cure until i took this product from Dr Movo just within few days i got cured. for his products contact him email drmovo.supernaturalherbalmedic@gmail.com or WhatsApp/Call +2347061865209.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hello everyone i Am Ben Mark and i am from USA i am here to give my testimony about an herbal doctor called Dr,Akioya I was heartbroken because i had very small penis,not nice to satisfy a woman, i have been in so many relationship, but cut off because of my situation, i have used so many product which doctors prescribe for me, but could not offer me the help i searched for. i saw some few comments on the internet about this specialist called Dr,Akioya and decided to email him on his email i saw on the internet,(drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com ) so I decided to give his herbal product a try. i emailed him and he got back to me, he gave me some comforting words with his herbal product for Penis Enlargement, Within three weeks of me use it, i began to feel the enlargement, " and now it just 4 weeks of using his products my penis is about 8 inches longer, and i had to settle thing out with my ex girlfriend , i was surprised when she said that she is satisfied with my performance in bed and i now have a large penis.thanks to DR Akioya for is herbal product. you can also reach him with emsil drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com though is..number WHATASPP him today on this number [ +2348105257464 ] you can checkout is website; http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  16. I am John Danilla from UK( northern ireland), i want to share a
    testimony on how a powerful spell caster cured my HIV disease, i was
    diagnosed of this disease, in the year 2009, last week i saw a testimony on
    Dr.Akioya on how he cured an HIV patient, so i contacted him through phone
    and he asked me to email him, which idid, so he told me that all my
    problems is over and then he decided to do an healing spell spell for me so
    after he finished it, he told me to wait for just 24 hours and then i
    should go for a test, so i really did as he had said, so my greatest
    surprised when i went to the hospital to go for an HIV test, the Medical
    doctor diagnosed that, i am now HIV negetative at first i was amazed and
    now i have come to realise that this spell caster Dr. Akioya is a very
    powerful one and a real spell caster. So viewers of this should please join
    me in my celebration for i am the happiest man on earth today and if you
    want to contact him, you can do this via his email
    (drakioya17spellhome@gmail.com or call him or whatsapp him
    +2348105257464. or you can visit is website;
    http://drakioyaherbalcenter.home.blog
    https://drakioyaherbalhome.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete