Later this morning when I got dressed, I pulled out an old pair of jeans and put them on in an effort to decide whether or not it’s time for goodwill. In the back pocket I found one of Ty’s Spiderman stickers from the hospital. It crushed me and took me a while to shake it off. I was immediately stuck in the hospital world, remembering all of those countless days, and wanting them back. I envy the parents who get to lay in a hospital bed with their child and watch a cartoon while deciding what to order for lunch off the hospital menu. To have an entire afternoon with nothing to do but snuggle that child. I know, who would envy the parent of a kid with cancer (?) but there are some things about the day-to-day parenting experience with a sick child that are truly beautiful and simply incomprehensible to any outside observers. Those days were so special to Lou and I and we would do anything to have them back.
Gavin was doing some sticker art later today and he asked me to help him peel the backing off of one. Wouldn’t you know it was one of the sparkley star stickers that Ty brought home from the hyperbaric oxygen chamber? Every single day Ty would wear one on his shirt after his treatment, and he would always ask to bring one home to Gavin, too. I guess I put a bunch of them in the sticker box, and it was such a treat to have that reminder, today. I haven’t thought about those star stickers in a long time!
Lou’s birthday is on Wednesday, so I spent over an hour on the computer watching videos of Ty in an effort to find one very special video of Ty saying his prayers with Daddy. Gavin would often hear the videos and ask to jump up on my lap to watch a couple here and there. I think he really enjoyed seeing Ty and him when he was younger. At one point he got off my lap and slipped. He hit his hand and started crying so I picked him up and he asked me to take him upstairs. Of course, on the stairs right in front of us was a huge ladybug. Impossible to miss :) We both watched her for a while before moving on to something else. What a treat!!! Thanks for the visit, again, Ty!
On our way back downstairs Gavin was like, “Where did the ladybug go?”
“I don’t know, I guess she left.”
“What? But how could she leave if there are no open doors or windows?”
“The question is, how did she get in if there are no open doors or windows?”
Confused. Then he gets it. “Ty!”
Then, after dark, I had to go outside to get a few things from my car. I looked up, of course, and there were a bazillion beautiful stars above. It’s been a while. It was so quiet, and so beautiful. They were all winking at me. It was a great day.
Before I go, I want to also share about Halloween. You know, it turned out to be a really, really good day. We have never really had a great trick-or-treating experience because either the kids were too young or Ty was too sick. We would take them while it was still light out, barely any neighbors were even home, Ty lasted maybe ½ hour and we would go home so he could enjoy giving out the candy after dark when everyone came to our house. This Halloween I realized that Gavin never really had a good Halloween because of that (not to mention no power the past two years), so we decided that we would meet up with some other kids and he would go trick-or-treating after dark. I couldn’t believe how many kids were out in our neighborhood, and just how great everyone decorated for the occasion! He got dozens of full size candy bars (what!?!?!) and one lovely neighbor even treated the grown-ups to a frosty beverage along the way (double what!?!?!?). It was great!
|It doesn't really light up, that is a totally cool reflection of the flash|
The next day we drove down to my mom's house for the medium party - more on that later - and Saturday morning we attended mass for All Souls Day. Lou, Gavin and I went alone, we were given a candle for Ty, and it was really a nice tribute. Later we had a foundation meeting, Gavin had a friends birthday party that afternoon and we got together with friends to celebrate Lou's upcoming bday on Saturday night - these past few days have been non-friggin-stop. A piece of Halloween candy is calling my name and then it's off to bed for mama bear. xoxo.