Thursday, November 7, 2013

Happy Birthday Daddy and THE MEDIUM

Yesterday was Lou's birthday.  I put together a tribute video for him to try and recreate the happiness he and Donna gave to me on my birthday.  Although it doesn't compare, it was still a great representation of the true love between Daddy and Ty.  I couldn't have asked for a better man to go through this with.  He is my rock, and Ty loved his Daddy so very much.  I tried to find video clips of home movies that Lou hasn't seen in ages, and pictures that we don't look at as often.  He loved it.

http://youtu.be/mYE2D67IBqA

It happened to me today.  Something that hasn't happened in a really, really long time, if ever.  I was on Facebook or something meaningless like that, thinking of Ty, and for a moment I forgot he was gone.  When it hit me that he died, it was like I felt it for the first time all over again.  It only lasted seconds, that feeling of shock, but it was so powerful.  Does that happen to people after losing a loved one?  Even one year later?  I couldn't believe how strong and real it felt.  My poor bleeding broken heart took another beating for a brief moment and it left me in a state of fleeting shock and confusion.  Surreal.  That's the only way I can describe it.  

I am so proud of the foundation and all we have accomplished in our first year.  We just established funding the "Ty Louis Campbell Fellowship" at Weill Cornell, which means there will be a dedicated lab researcher supporting the Children's Brain Tumor Project - which is bringing individualized treatment protocols to children with rare and inoperable brain tumors via genetic sequencing.  It is very promising and I am so happy to be supporting it.  And that is only the beginning of several research investments we are committed to over the next few months.   Not to mention that we planned out 2014 during a recent board meeting and we have some AMAZING fundraisers planned.  TLC is here to stay, and already we are making a difference!!

Speaking of making a difference, we are big supporters of the Truth 365 campaign.  The recent government shutdown brought children fighting cancer to the forefront.  At the time, many of our elected officials stated their unwavering support for childhood cancer research.  Now it's time to turn those words into action.  Please watch and share THIS VIDEO via social media to help raise awareness and to support this awareness campaign.  #thetruth365film

Awareness = Funding = Research = Better Treatment Options

The Medium
So, a few months ago my friend Kristi mentioned that she made an appointment with a medium - Psychic Sandy on Long Island.  She had been on a waiting list for over a year, and asked me if I would be interested in hosting a party with Sandy where she reads for an entire group.  I talked it over with my mom and we eventually agreed to have a "medium party" at her house in Wantagh.  My friends, My mom's friends and Kristi and her friends would all get together for a fun night. 

To be honest, I am so 100% confident about my spiritual connection with Ty, that I didn't think I needed a medium to validate that for me... but regardless, she not only validated that Ty was there and communicating with her on some level, the entire experience left me feeling really good above all things.  I can honestly say that no matter what you think about the psychic, at the end of the night we all had a lot of fun!  We were on the edge of our seats for 2.5 hours listening to some pretty amazing stuff!!!

I could write a book about the various people in the room, their stories, and what Sandy told them, but instead of sharing such individual details I will just focus on what Ty shared for me, and a few other key conversations from that night.

When Sandy asked "who lost a child?' she looked in my direction immediately.  I raised my hand and she dove right in.  She said some very interesting things, like (and I have to paraphrase):
"He had something very rare.  Like a long word that can be abbreviated.  He keeps showing me the word 'supercalafragilistic' to describe what he had."
Yes.  He had an extra-renal atypical teratoid rhabdoid tumor.  Abbreviated by AT/RT.
"He has a brother.  His name starts with 'G.'  I can't quite get his name, but I keep seeing my daughter.  For example, my daughter's name is Gianna, and we call her 'GiGi'.  Is it something like that?"
Yes, his brother's name is Gavin.  Ty used to call him "Ga-Ga."
"Do you wear a special necklace for him?"
Of course I do.  There were seven of us in that room who wear the same locket/necklace for Ty.
"He is telling me that you went to Manhattan often"
Yes.  He was treated at memorial sloan kettering in NYC. We spend a lot of time there.
"He wants you to know that he didn't know he was sick.  He was happy.  You spent a lot of time in the car, and he enjoyed that time with you."
Yes, at least two hours a day in the car.  Back and forth from treatment.  I was so happy to hear that he didn't know he was sick.  That was one of the two things I asked him to talk to me about. I often worry about what he was thinking.  If spending all that time in the car was draining for him.
"He says he had a special hat.  I am being drawn to that girl's red sweater."
Yes, he wore a red fedora often before he got so sick.  It was his trademark hat.  We even included it in a statue that was recently sculpted as a tribute to Ty. 
"He says you laid down with him.  Many parents sit at the bedside, hold hands, or kneel... but he's telling me you were laying with him, and he knew you were doing that."
Yes, in fact he was in my bed for an entire night after he died.  I read him books.  I laid with him for hours.  We slept in bed together every night for over two years straight, too.
"You cut some of his hair and kept it."
Yes.
"He wants you to know that no matter what you did, even if you chose different treatment or tried something else, you never would have saved him.  That you did all you could do, and his disease was too far gone there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome."

This was my most important message.  Now that I am raising so much money for research, I constantly question - what if we found this study in time for Ty?  I wish I consulted with this Doc, he is doing amazing things.  Maybe that would have made all the difference!  Before the medium, I asked Ty to send me a message about this above all.  I wanted to know if I did all I could do, if I made good decisions, and if the ladybugs are really from him. 

As for the ladybugs, all she said was "Yes, I don't know how or why, but kids are always sending ladybugs, butterflies, red cardinals, etc.  Don't ever doubt those signs, because they are so very real."

After the reading from Ty - and there was a lot more than what I listed above - the medium mentioned that Ty had an "army of men" behind him.  She specifically said his Uncle was with him.  "Who is James?" she asked to the room, and my sister-and-law and I were in shock.  Uncle Jimmy!!

Lou and Debi lost their older brother just six weeks after Ty was born, and the details the medium described about his life were just so incredible.  She knew everything about him.  Details that no one could just pull out of thin air like that.  Painful memories that no one knows about.  No one can make this up.  No one can get this kind of information from Google.  It was real.  It was totally mind-blowing.  And it was beautiful.  All I know is that hearing her share about Jimmy and all he endured made me a solid believer in her gift.  I didn't need much reassurance to know that Ty is with me every day because I feel him, and because I see him in the world around me.  But to hear from Jimmy, that was just a beautiful experienced that validated that he is finally resting in peace.  Which is all we ever wanted for him. 

She also spoke to my childhood friend (we have been great friends FOREVER) who lost her mom when we were 18.  She told her that her mom was inside her house at the time of the reading!  She then proceeded to describe the inside of my friend's house with such exact detail it was making my head spin.  It was so cool, that's all I can say.  She knew what the entire inside of her house looks like!  Exactly!

You don't have to believe in the medium.  I still don't even know what to make of it.  All I know, is that the room that night was filled with nothing but loving messages.  So there's no bad in that. 

Goodnight, Ty.  I miss you and love you so much.  Even during your most difficult days... when cancer stole your ability to move your arms or even hold your head up... you lived life to the fullest and smiled every step of the way.  You are amazing, little man.  I love you super duper big much always and forever.  Just look at your smile here.  SuperTy indeed.  My little super hero. 


30 comments:

  1. OMG Cindy I'm crying buckets thinking of all that Ty told you in that session - I'm so happy to hear you had this night and it just validated all you already feel about your beautiful son. And you did a beautiful job on the video by the way - how you found time to create that with everything else you are doing, I now know why Ty was so super, it's because he had SuperCindy as a mommy. As for your feeling about forgetting for a second that someone was gone - I have to say something similar happened to me just the other day. I was driving to my weekly accupuncture appt - it's in a bldg right next to the hospital where my father died two years ago. I never really thought about it - have been going to these appts for months, until this particular day, I looked at the hospital and it totally hit me that it was the place where my father died...the memories of him taking his last breaths in my arms came flooding back and I found myself in tears. Sending you, Lou and Gavin love always. Thinking of Ty always. Donna

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
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  2. I am so incredibly happy Ty sent you those messages!! I'm so glad he is ok. I love him so much and it gives me so much peace to read about this, I can't even imagine what it meant to you. Happy tears!!!!

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  3. Such precious memories of Ty in that video! <3

    I think about him and you and your family so often. God bless you all!

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  4. Amazing!! Simply amazing...brings so much comfort that there IS so much more than just this life here. love it! And love the video for Lou! Ty always makes me smile through tears! He was such a beautiful gift! Happy Birthday Lou!

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  5. I am so happy for you to hear from Ty so directly!!! I can only imagine the comfort the medium brought to you. That is wonderful. God Bless Super Ty.

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  6. I have forgotten that my father was gone twice. The first time was about 2 years after he had passed. The second time was 5 years after he had passed. On that occasion, I was at Giant's Stadium in San Francisco. I was there on vacation and it was the first time I had ever seen a baseball stadium that nice. (It was many years before the stadiums in NY were rebuilt.) My father was a big baseball fan. As I toured around the stadium, I got very happy and excited. I completely forgot my father was dead and said aloud to my boyfriend that my father would love this stadium and I couldn't wait to tell him all about it. Seconds after it came out of my mouth, it then hit me like a ton a bricks that my Dad was dead. Even though there is no crying in baseball, tears streamed down my face. The pain was real and I was in shock that for quite a few minutes I had truly forgotten he was gone. To be honest it took me a while to get over that incident. I felt so good in those minutes that I had forgotten. It was painful to go back to reality. You are not alone.

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  7. OMG this is an amazing story Cindy. I am so happy to hear you got to hear form Ty and to know all is well, I knew he was in peace and he always will be. loved the video, had to stop a few times because I cried. Keep up the good work. You and Lou are amazing! Happy birthday Lou,
    Maria Savlick

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  8. Once again you have done a wonderful job! The video for Lou was beautiful, I could feel the love between Ty and his Daddy and it breaks my heart for him all over again. On the other side, the messages from Ty thru the medium made me smile ,and cry with happiness for you. Proves you did everything right for Ty and you should be proud of how happy you made him thru it all. Thanks once again for sharing it all with us. Love and hugs to you, Lou and Gavin....Jean <3

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  9. What a wonderful gift for Lou on his birthday. It is just so touching to see the wonderful dad he is. Ty was such a happy little boy, because he has amazing parents. Thank you for sharing and for making me all the more grateful for my healthy children every day. I think of Ty every night as I kiss my sleeping kids goodnight before I go to bed. He is a very special little boy.

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  10. What a beautiful experience that must have been. Not that it will ever take you pain away, but on some levels it must be soothing. I'm SO HAPPY you were able to hear such happy and comforting words....You are truly heaven sent Cindy....

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  11. After reading your post, I have a big lump in my throat. That picture of you and Ty at the beach - just beautiful to see his smile in spite of everything that was happening to him. Thank you for sharing it!

    So glad the medium shared such comforting visions with you. Reflect on them in your dark moments. Ty was always happy with you and felt your love, Cindy, I am 100% sure of it. He was an extraordinary child.

    Happy Belated Birthday to Lou.

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    Replies
    1. P.S. I want to add "with an extraordinary MOTHER."

      Delete
  12. What an amazing gift to be able to reaffirm what you already know. The energy that was us, continues on. The love stays and never leaves. Those we love stay with us forever, and we will be together again. So when you miss him most, or need him most, continue to talk to him, and believe he hears you and feels your love. I know it isn't good enough, it is not what we want, but it's all we have for now. Someday you will hold him again. They are with us, just not the way we are used to. They have gone ahead of us to a new place, but they are waiting for us. I like to think of it as a short trip..."go ahead, I'll be there soon". You are strong and will be ok.

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  13. I couldn't wait to read this post this morning. I had to actually run out of the house so I could sob my gigantic heaving sobs over this. This magnificent affirmation. So beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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  14. I think about Ty every single day. Every time I get tired, or annoyed, I look at my son and realize I am so lucky to have him that it changes my outlook and I let him stay up later, have dessert though he didn't eat all of his peas, jump in muddy puddles, answer every single one of his 80,000,000 questions patiently, etc. You and Ty have made me a better parent. I wish you could have him back, but sharing your story has made at least one little boy's childhood a lot more fun and he is appreciated every second of every day. Also, I read an update last week and was sitting on my deck getting all teary eyed, and what do I see? A ladybug. They aren't supposed to be in my area at this time of year. He is with you, and maybe, just maybe, he came to give me a little comfort.

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  15. Its been 4 years since we lost my grandpa to a short bout of cancer, but I still have my moments where I forget that he's really gone. And it hurts every time. But it reminds me that he's still very much a presence in my life, and for that I'm thankful.

    I'm so glad you go the chance to visit with the medium and got some messages from your beautiful boy. His spirit will always be with you, sending you messages in some way. Of that, I have no doubt.

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  16. I am soo happy for you that u got a validation from Ty...I know u didn't need one, cause you feel him with your each and everyday....but actually hearing it, is amazing..and I am happy for you. I lost a nephew in Feb, he was 31, and he was also like a son to me. It was a shocking and sudden death and I miss him each and every day. So, some days it hits me again that he's really not here...and I feel that powerful feeling of loosing him...as if it happend for the 1st time..so I know what you mean about that 'fresh feeling" and how powerful it is. Its just soo sad and it feels like your heart is tearing in a million pieces all over again. Prayers are with you and your family always.
    Betty from Beacon NY

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    1. are you freaking nuts woman? get off this site immedicatelly. you and your cheating lover.

      Delete
  18. Michelle D'AlessandroNovember 9, 2013 at 8:47 PM

    Couldn't be happier for you. What a gift! Just amazing. Especially glad to know he didn't know he was sick and that he knew you laid with him. Love that boy. Thanks for sharing.

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  19. My breath caught when you described forgetting Ty was gone. I was Christmas shopping 5 months after my Mom died and found a sweater that I knew she'd love. I was walking toward the check out with it when I remembered she was gone - I was absolutely gutted. Tears pouring down my face, panicked to put the sweater back and get to my car..it was horrible. Please know that I am not comparing the loss of a parent (also to cancer) to your loss - just saying that I know that feeling. That sinking feeling of remembering. I think of you and your family and your beautiful Ty. Much love from Wisconsin, Erika

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  20. Cindy, the video was beautiful. It proves to me that Ty didn't "know" he was sick. He is the happiest most beautiful baby boy ever. His smile just proves it, validates it. What did make me sad is that the medium says that no matter what you have done the outcome would have been the same. That just broke my heart, because I refuse to believe it. I want to believe that it made a difference even if it was having him in your life for 2 more years and taking him on vacation and enjoying his love. I want to believe that one day the treatment will make a difference and a cure will be found. Ty, you simply are the light at the end of my everyday. You make me smile, you determine my mood, you are such a force baby boy. Seriously!!!
    PS I dont ignore my kids of course also, but Ty is so included in everything I do at home and we have many conversations about him :))
    Miss you baby boy so much. Please keep sending lady bugs to you beautiful family.

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  21. CONTACT PRIEST ODUMA VIA EMAIL SPELLOFSOLUTION@GMAIL.COM OR CALL HIM ON +2348153363047November 13, 2013 at 4:40 AM

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  23. Cindy & Lou,

    I have seen quite a few videos of Ty. . . but every time I see him with his daddy? That just takes it to a different place in my heart.

    Happy Belated Birthday Lou!

    Cindy -you both are amazing!

    Joy Marielle
    Baltimore MD

    ReplyDelete
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    because i was desperate. Then i sent a message to the him on his Instagram at:@dremmanuel2 He
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