Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Happy birthday to our big boy

Gavin is four years old.  I can't believe it.  Where did my baby go? 


He had a great day today.  We took him to LEGOLAND and he couldn't have been more excited about the entire experience.  Especially the new Lego Super Hero sets that he took home with him.  All-in-all, I think it was a great day.  The weather was perfect.  The place we are staying is perfect.  We are just missing one huge and most important thing in our lives that makes every minute of every day imperfect.  It can never be perfect again, but we were happy today and that is so important for Gavin.  He had a very happy birthday today.  We shared the best hugs and kisses at bedtime tonight.  I feel really good about this very beautiful trip we made out West with him to show him just how special he is and how much we love him. 

When we took him to the zoo the other day, it was the first time we took a family photo without Ty.  It was so hard to do.  His absence is so heavy and to sit in front of the camera and ask someone to take a photo of us, it was just so weird.  My head was spinning.  It took every ounce of my being to smile and make pretend.  The person taking the photo had no idea whatsoever what Lou and I were really thinking as they happily uttered the command, "say cheese!!"  Gavin had no idea, either.  But for us, the act of attempting to take a normal family photo couldn't have been further from normal.  I don't like to look at it. 

Last night, Gavin was telling Lou and I a story at dinner time.  He was so cute and so excited, engrossed in a conversation about super heroes.  He started going off on an imaginative tangent about a new Avengers song that sings about Iron Man, Hulk and Hawkeye.  He was so animated when he talked about the song that we all know doesn't really exist.  Sharing adorable details he was making up off-the-cuff just to entertain us.  I turned to Lou and said, "you know what would be happening right now if Ty was in that seat right there, where he should be?  Ty would be turning to Gavin and saying 'Ga-Gaaaa!  That's not a weel song!!!' and Gavin would get pissed and yell back, 'yes, it is a weel song, Ty!!'"  They would definitely argue over it because Ty doesn't let Gavin get away with anything and Gavin is just so stubborn and hot-headed.  The more angry he gets, the more Ty would tease him. How he loved to get a rise out of his brother! 

We feel so incomplete without Ty.  Lou and I have been watching Gavin running around for days.  At the zoo, on the beach, at the theme park, and all we can talk about is how we wish he had his brother to play with him.  He just seems so alone and it's not fair.  He is shy around other children that he doesn't know, for example he was hanging all over me at LEGOLAND today, too shy to play with the other kids.  If his brother was there, that never would have been an issue.  But today I am still happy for Gavin.  He had a really good day.  He was so sweet and so appreciative.  We are blessed and lucky to have our big, loving four-year-old boy.  I just wish it wasn't going by so fast!  I was robbed of his adorable toddler years because I was so consumed taking care of Ty, and now I watch him from a distance in sheer amazement at what a good boy he has become despite it all.  He makes me so proud :)





 

38 comments:

  1. He is just too cute! What a character.

    I'm so glad you guys had a good day today despite it all. You are in my and so many other people's thoughts and prayers.

    And off topic, but you look just beautiful in that first picture Cindy :)

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  2. Happy birthday to Gavin!!!

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  3. I am reading the blog little by little.

    right now im on March 2011, this is how little Ty was doing then:


    When he suffers from headaches it is simply unbearable. He tells me, "Mommy I have head pain" over and over and over and over and over again. I give him medicine, I put cool rags on his head, I try changing his position but nothing helps. It's a terrible feeling when your baby cries out to you for help and there's nothing you can do. It makes me want to jump out of my skin.

    Cindy, now he is free from this suffering..don´t you think though you miss him so much it is worth for him? No more headache pain that doesn´t allow the little baby play ... just so that you can see the positive part of it..

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    1. I know. Of course. The memories of all he suffered is the only thing that makes losing him "okay".

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    2. The hardest part of being parents is watching a child go through something and no being able to fix it for them.

      All you did was all you could do.

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    3. HAAAAPPPPYYY BIRTHDAY LITTLE SUUPER GAVIN

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    4. the positive part of it?

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    5. The "good" that will come of this is the awareness it is bringing to pediatric cancer, and with that hopefully better treatments. The rest of it sucks, it f***ing sucks, more than any words can ever express. The Ty Louis Campbells of this world should be happy and free, jumping in muddy puddles and playing with their GaGas and laughing at those silly stories about make believe songs. They shouldn't be dying of cancer.

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    6. Of course that´s for sure...I meant the only thing that can make it a little bit bareable ... a child suffering and dying...you are right not positive side at all..I totally agree I didnt express well, but dying means no more physical pain..and that is the only "good" thing...someone suffering so much..now he is free

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  4. Happy Birthday Gavin!

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  5. Happy birthday Super G.... I hope you know how much of a superhero you are to your mommy and daddy.

    Thinking of you guys always.

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  6. Happy Birthday to Gavin!!!! I'm so glad he had such a good day!!!!
    I can't imagine how difficult it is to watch Gavin grow and play without Ty, having two boys myself, I can't even imagine how gutwrenching that pain could be... But Ty is still with him, guiding him and watching over him, I am absolutely sure of it!!!

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  7. Cindy you and Lou are doing an amazing job with Gavin despite how incomplete it must be without Ty. I bet Gavin feels the same way and that is why he gets so animated at times to try to distract you all from what you are all thinking and feeling. He is just a adorable little man and I am blessed that you are continuing to share your family with us. I'm praying for you daily and think of you often when my little ones are playing or especially when I feel like I'm losing my mind because of their fighting; I think how you are missing even those moments and it makes me a better mother. Thank you for that!

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  8. Happy Birthday Gavin! We all love you, too!

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  9. Happy, Happy Birthday Gavin!

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  10. Good Morning !

    Happy Birthday, Gavin !!

    All the best.

    - Rob Swan

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  11. These pictures are great Cindy. Love the one of big ol Lou squeezed in to the mining car with Gavin. Hilarious. I know I don't know the pain you feel in missing Ty - it will never be fair or right that's he's not there - but it is so nice to see you guys being able to find some happiness together. Gavin looks like he did indeed have a fun time - Happy Birthday big guy!!! Hoping the rest of your trip goes well. Love to you all. Thinking of Ty always.

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  12. Happy Birthday sweet Gavin!

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  13. So glad that Gavin enjoyed his birthday and that you and Lou were able to create happy memories for him! Ty is smiling down on you from Heaven for making Gavin's day so special.

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  14. Happy Birthday to Gavin...what a gift you are giving him. You are doing the right thing and making him be special and important...
    It's all so utterly unfair but you are making the best you can of it...

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  15. happy birthday Gavin. The best cutest boy in the world. i wish you life full of health and joy. i wish for you to grow and know that you are always loved. i wish you that you wold have never ever experienced loss at such a young age. i wish that you would have always remained a little brother to Ty. I pray that you will contine to bring joy to your parents and make them smile even hen their hearts are breaking. too bad i didnt get a chnace to see meet you in lego land as i ma planning to take my soon to be birthday boy there. One day :))

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  16. Happy Birthday, Gavin! Love you, Cindy.

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  17. Happy Happy Birthday Gavin!!! I know Ty was blowing out your candles with you. He is smiling down on your most awesome day!!! Muc love to the Campbells. I think of you all EVERYDAY!!!!

    xoxoxoxo
    Shawna
    Millbrook, NY

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  18. Happy Birthday to a wonderful boy!!!!

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  19. Happy 4th birthday Gavin! Your LEGOLAND adventure looked fabulous and I bet you had a blast! Know that your big brother Ty probably had a huge piece of cake covered in candy in your honor! You're definitely a superhero and I hope Ty helps you fight villains in your dreams!

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  20. Happy Birthday Gavin!!!! I loved hearing about all the fun stuff u did at Legoland. I wish u many many more fun birthdays. God Bless u and keep u safe. Big Hugs!!! I know Ty had a blast seeing u having so much fun.

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  21. Happy birthday to Gavin! It looks like he had an amazing celebration. You are incredible parents. Thinking of you all often.

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  22. Happy birthday Gavin!! You are an amazing little boy... And I know Ty is so proud to be your big brother.

    Thinking of you all every single day!!

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  23. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAGA!
    Sounds like you had a great day. Make sure you give your Mommy & Daddy a huge hug - they deserve it!
    Dad from Australia : ) xoxo

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  24. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAVIN!!! I'm sure Ty was celebrating right there with you, and he is with his brother, always. I've said it before, I'll say it again - your parenting is nothing short of amazing. Many in your shoes wouldn't be able to get out of bed, let alone celebrate ANYthing, but here you are, making sure Gavin is living life to the fullest, and moving mountains in Ty's name. You are truly exceptional.

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  25. HAPPY BIRTHDAY GAVIN!! Looks like you had so much fun in LEGOLAND. always know that your big bro is always there with you in your heart.

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  26. Happy birthday Gavin !! My Connor would be soooojealous to see that pic of you with chewie and r2d2!!
    Health and happiness ALWAYS little man❤
    The Bloch family

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  27. Happy birthday Gavin. God bless The Campbell family.

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  28. Gavin is such a beautiful little boy. I am glad you had a good time.

    Happy 4th birthday Gavin!!!!!

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  29. Happy 4th birthday to Gavin! I'm so happy to hear that he had a great birthday and that you were able to also really enjoy his special day! I wish all of you lots more great days in the future! You all deserve only good things ❤always in my thoughts & prayers!!!

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