|Zero through 5 years old|
|The Big Boy is SIX|
Today, Gavin is six. It is almost impossible to believe. I know every year and every milestone tends to result in the same feeling of "where did the time go?" but there's something about SIX that seems so surreal. Even he thinks so! For days upon days leading up to his birthday he would talk about turning six and just how big a number it was. He was so excited for this day, that I think he actually woke up pretty disappointed.
"Mommy, what's it supposed to feel like when you turn six?"
"Gavin, it feels kind of the same as when you were five. When you are growing up, the changes seem to happen gradually."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you really don't feel much different on your birthday than you did the day before, but if you look back and think about one year ago you'll realize how much you've grown!"
"Oh. I just thought I would feel bigger. I thought I would be able to do stuff."
Maybe it's impossible to imagine Gavin is six because Ty isn't here. Because I don't even know what his big brother would look like at six years old. It's such a complex balance between trying to celebrate Gavin without choking back tears over Ty every single time there is a milestone in his life. It's just that with each milestone, his brother's absence is that much heavier. It is ALWAYS there, even when I have the biggest smiles.
Gavin was very excited when they started having Earth Day lessons in school. He felt so special that his birthday is on the same day and he came home with so many questions for me. He thinks it's weird that I refer to our planet as a "her" and he had a hard time grasping the concept of how deep the ground goes and how high the sky goes, which also led to a lot of questions like:
"If God is everywhere, is he even underground?"
"Do you think there's a separate Heaven for dinosaurs?"
"Is the Earth alive?"
Gavin also proved that he takes after me when it comes to crafting. He was very excited to show me some of the ways he learned to re-use every day household trash. Like turning a water bottle into a scooper, or turning a jelly jar into a flower vase.
He refused to listen to me when I explained that I think the water bottle needs to be a gallon with a handle ("just watch me, I know how to do it." he insisted). He also decided to make a flower vase out of something that was already a flower vase. Not exactly the kind of "re-use" i had in mind.
The Jug Scoop
|Gavin NAILED IT|
|The Painted Mason Jar|
|Gavin NAILED IT|
Thanks so much for your love and support over all these years. I can't believe it's been almost five years since Ty's diagnosis. Mind blown on many levels today. I love that Gavin is getting big - I love being around him and all the adorable things he says and does - but it's so bittersweet when your youngest starts to tie his own shoes, take showers, help himself to a drink and a snack. I ask him all the time, "Where did my baby go?" and then he climbs into my lap and says, "right here." :) I am lucky to have such love in my life.