Mother's Day was a very difficult day for me. I spent a lot of time outside, alone with Ty. It was terribly sad and I never welcomed a Monday more. I'm glad it's behind me and I managed to get through it without doing anything crazy. I love the bleeding hearts that Debi bought for me as a gift. I planted them under Ty's tree and it is so very appropriate (all the red leaves came in and it looks so beautiful - thank you friend).
Meet Batman Ty
Maybe it is time to seek some kind of sibling therapy for Gavin. He hasn’t had any crying fits lately, he hasn’t been sad or emotional whatsoever, but some of his behavior has Lou and I getting very sad and emotional for him.
It started two nights ago. About an hour before bedtime, he started carrying around his giant Batman toy. It is his only toy that is probably most like a real little person. Now he calls him Batman Ty. This was a gift to Ty when we first moved to Pawling and he has been a staple in the playroom ever since – you can see why. It’s a very cool toy.
“Batman Ty is my b-wuh-ver. He can’t walk because he has pain in his head. So I can help him and take care of him because I CAN walk and I DON’T have pain in my head.”
“Oh Gavin, you are such a wonderful brother. You are taking such good care of Batman.”
“His name is Batman Ty.”
This went on and on into the night. He took Batman Ty everywhere with him and he talked a lot about the pain in his head. He helped Batman Ty wash his hands and brush his teeth before bedtime and he tucked him into the top bunk in his room. I thought/hoped it was a one-time thing until he started doing it again the next day. Batman Ty had snack at the kids table with Gavin. Batman Ty sat at the table and watched his brother Gavin build with Legos. Batman Ty sat on my lap along with Gavin while I read them both stories (one superhero book for Gavin, and one of Ty's old standbys for Batman). Gavin was so cute the way he would sneak around the table to eat some of Batman’s snacks and then yell “look, Mommy, he’s eating his too!” He isn’t sad, I promise he is happy, but this whole scenario just breaks our already broken hearts like you can’t imagine. His teachers say he’s doing well at school. I don’t want to discourage this behavior in case it helps him process all he has been through, but I don’t want it to become a habit, either.
Because the idea of my youngest son carrying around a doll and pretending he is his dead brother is simply unbearable.
Today, thank God, he didn’t play with Batman Ty much at all. We only had one conversation about him, and it was when I had to move him out of a chair so I could sit and play instead. We talked about the real Ty for a while, and how he used to scoot around. All of these talks have been prompted by Gavin. He has been asking a lot of questions lately. We will see. Hopefully it was just a short-lived game that he isn’t interested in playing anymore because it is just too painful to watch.
HUGE THANKS to Jake and the entire staff at Jumpin' Jakes in Fishkill, and to the amazing members of our local 501st Legion for hosting such a successful fundraiser two weeks ago. The kids had so much fun participating in Jedi Knight workshops and more. A special thanks to our volunteers as well. It was a sold-out event, and you can see why! Very cool. We look forward to doing this again and again!
Thank you to Michelle, Wendy and all those that participated in the "Ride for Ty" at Putnam Park on May 5th! We hope to make it an annual event, and next year maybe you'll even get me on a horse :) I hope to post photos soon.
The B-You Signature Series benefiting the Ty Louis Campbell Foundation are still on-sale. Please share on FB, Tweet, Instagram, etc. CLICK HERE to see our feature in Macaroni Kid, and visit www.beyourownyou.org to check out the merchandise.
RUN FOR TY - SEE KATIE COURIC
If you signed up to run the Miles for Hope 5K with me on July 27th in Flushing/Queens, you probably got an exciting email about the Katie Couric show! The first 1,200 registrants will be granted two VIP audience tickets to attend the Katie show (various dates available). I am so excited about this fun opportunity! What a wonderful reward for running our butts off in honor of Ty and all the children battling brain cancer. The Children’s Brain Tumor Project at Weill Cornell is such a worthy recipient of our fundraising efforts. To register, please follow these instructions:
- CLICK HERE to access the registration site.
- Click on the "register here" button to the left.
- Select the option to "join a team"
- Find "team superty" in the dropdown menu, and it's pretty easy to navigate from there :)
For those of you who are local to Westchester, Putnam and Dutchess counties, stay tuned. The first annual TY-athlon is scheduled for the third weekend in September. It will be held in Mahopac and will include a 5K for those who prefer not to bike/swim. I will post the registration link in upcoming weeks. We are very excited about this!