Saturday, January 26, 2013

Any bereaved mother would agree

Do not judge the bereaved mother.

She comes in many forms.

She is breathing, but she is dying.

She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.

She smiles, but her heart sobs.

She walks,

she talks,

she cooks,

she cleans,

she works.
She IS, but she IS NOT, all at once.

She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.
I wrote so much over the past few days (I need to just write sometimes when I am so filled with mixed up emotions), but none of my scattered thoughts are ready for posting here tonight.  It is late, I am tired, I have been working all day long on various things for the foundation and I am simply spent. 
The above was sent to me via Ty's Facebook and I read it nodding my head in affirmation to every word.   I am elsewhere for eternity.  I will never be myself again.  I smile, but my heart sobs.  I am here and I'm not here at all times.  All of this pain only shows me how lucky I am to be capable of feeling such tremendous love, though, and I have Ty to thank for that.  Of course, I would rather be shallow and have him here.  I would rather stress over piles of laundry instead of whether or not I am doing enough to avenge what happened to him.  My life was completely and unexpectedly uprooted, and laundry doesn't matter anymore.  I am proud of the person he made me, but I hate the reason I became this person. 
This weekend I will post an update on our meetings and the exciting progress we've made on the foundation.  In the meantime, I want to thank all of you who signed and shared Maya's petition.  I was hitting "refresh" on the petition page all day today and I hoped it would reach 25,000 signatures before I went to bed, but it looks like I'll have to wait until tomorrow.  LESS THAN 1,000 SIGNATURES TO GO!!  That's incredible.  Thank you.  A gold white house in September is an overdue and necessary tribute to our little warriors.  I can't wait to hear the President's answer... a resounding "YES!"


  1. I am constantly thinking of you, of Ty. Ty holds a huge piece of my heart. I am truly inspired by your strength. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I constantly check for updates on your blog because I am deeply touched by your writing. I share Ty's story with everyone I meet.Ty will never be forgotten his strength and beauty will not allow it.

  2. Please post the info to sign Maya's petition as I need to do that for your incredible family and beloved SuperTy
    Thank you and God Bless

  3. Much love to you Cindy, Lou, Gavin and precious Tender Loving Care Ty...Cindy, we all love whatever scattered emotions you have to share because your memories are the building blocks upon which to build the foundation of your son's legacy. Never deprive us of your own, meandering thoughts, they are the greatest gifts you will ever own xxx

  4. I can't wait to hear the news on the foundation!! You will do many big things in Ty's honor I know:) Here is a link to Maya's petition. I saw someone ask for it:) lets blow this puppy out of the water and get as many signatures as we can!!

  5. This morning (Madrid time) only 451 signatures were needed!! We can do this!!!!!!
    We have to do this, for Ty, and Cameron, and Ronan and all the others. Soooooo close!!!!

  6. Only 241 more signatures needed now...We will do this no worries! How wonderful it feels to know this will happen...Ty and Ronan made this happen... it is the beginning of bigger things to come! Cancer really did mess with the wrong women this time...

  7. 25,019 signatures on the petition!!! We did it!!!!

  8. Looks like the petition made it then! Great work, warrior mama!

  9. I love u guys! I'm here everyday waiting for ur words Cindy.

  10. Cindy you are the most incredible writer. Your phrases should be quoted and a book must be made and all money should go into Ty foundation. I miss you superTy. Nothing is ever the same

  11. We did it!! That sentence was music to my ears this morning. "Somebody should do something about that". Cindy, You reminded all of us that we are"somebody" and together we will do awesone things with your direction!! As you have said.. For you Ty, anything for you.

  12. You are so awesome! Go Gold!!!! Woohoo!!!!

  13. Yeah!! So glad we made it!! I think about you and Ty every day..there isn't a day when I don't. Last night I was laying in bed, listening to the radio and that song came on, (can't think of the name) but it goes like this, "look at the stars, look how they shine for you....." and it made me think about Ty. (There are lots of songs I hear that make me think about him.) I know great things are going to happen in honor of Ty and all the other little Ty's out there. Prayers and strength always. Betty Warren from Beacon NY

  14. Cancer is so limited...
    It cannot cripple love.
    It cannot shatter hope.
    It cannot corrode faith.
    It cannot eat away peace.
    It cannot destroy confidence.
    It cannot kill friendship.
    It cannot shut out memories.
    It cannot silence courage.
    It cannot reduce eternal life.
    It cannot quench the Spirit.

  15. Wooooooo Hoooooo!!!!! I can't wait to see GOLD at the White House!!! You can move mountains baby!!! Just think of all you can continue to do! You have the WORLD behind you.. Prayers for you!!

    Love Gabrielle

  16. Your writings are beautiful, your feelings so true. I lost my 21 year old daughter on December 27th after a long courageous 4 year battle with cancer. She endured so much in those 4 years but kept on fighting. She received very intense chemo which caused renal failure and required her to have dialysis 3 times a week. There were numerous tests, scans and transfusions and I dont know how we got through them. My daughter Leah was the bravest, strongest, most caring person I know, she always put others feeling before hers. I knew the day would come when she would get tired but i never imagined it would be so hard and hurt so bad. I am relieved she is not in pain anymore and at peace but I cry all the time and miss her so much. I am so grateful to her for all she taught me and the strength she gave me. She was an awesome person who is loved so much.