Do not judge the bereaved mother.
She comes in many forms.
She is breathing, but she is dying.
She may look young, but inside she has become ancient.
She smiles, but her heart sobs.
She IS, but she IS NOT, all at once.
She is here, but part of her is elsewhere for eternity.
I wrote so much over the past few days (I need to just write sometimes when I am so filled with mixed up emotions), but none of my scattered thoughts are ready for posting here tonight. It is late, I am tired, I have been working all day long on various things for the foundation and I am simply spent.
The above was sent to me via Ty's Facebook and I read it nodding my head in affirmation to every word. I am elsewhere for eternity. I will never be myself again. I smile, but my heart sobs. I am here and I'm not here at all times. All of this pain only shows me how lucky I am to be capable of feeling such tremendous love, though, and I have Ty to thank for that. Of course, I would rather be shallow and have him here. I would rather stress over piles of laundry instead of whether or not I am doing enough to avenge what happened to him. My life was completely and unexpectedly uprooted, and laundry doesn't matter anymore. I am proud of the person he made me, but I hate the reason I became this person.
This weekend I will post an update on our meetings and the exciting progress we've made on the foundation. In the meantime, I want to thank all of you who signed and shared Maya's petition. I was hitting "refresh" on the petition page all day today and I hoped it would reach 25,000 signatures before I went to bed, but it looks like I'll have to wait until tomorrow. LESS THAN 1,000 SIGNATURES TO GO!! That's incredible. Thank you. A gold white house in September is an overdue and necessary tribute to our little warriors. I can't wait to hear the President's answer... a resounding "YES!"