Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Look up for ladybugs

I developed a morning routine in this new life of mine.  After we get up, I spend two hours playing hard with Gavin before school.  Lots of super heroes.  Lots of running around.  Lots of hugs, kisses and tackles.  We laugh so much, and I'm really laughing!  My mornings are happy.

Then I drop him off at school, and I usually start crying as I'm pulling away in the parking lot.  I think about Ty the entire way home.  When I get home, I look for Ty in his spot on the couch and I cry some more.  I never had time alone like this before and I don't know what to do with myself!  I need this time to grieve for Ty, it's probably good for me, and luckily I am usually able to snap myself out of it once the mess me and Gavin left behind from earlier starts encroaching.  I am a little obsessive about cleaning so that helps me wipe my tears and clear my head by throwing myself into thoughtless busy work around the house.  Then I get to work on the foundation and before I know it my free time is gone and it's time to pick up Gavin. 

Yesterday and today I was crying more than my usual routine.  I couldn't snap myself out of it like I often do.  I was in hysterics yesterday morning.  I tried to do the dishes, but I couldn't stop crying to the point where I couldn't even see what I was doing.  I turned off the water, pulled off my gloves, and cried hunched over the sink.  For whatever reason, I was compelled to look up searching for Ty and of course, wouldn't you know there was a ladybug right there on the ceiling above.  I immediately felt better.  100%.  Didn't cry the rest of the day.  This morning I had the same problem.  I was sitting in Ty's spot on the couch crying and angry that I was able to sit in his spot now.  After too long, I picked myself up and started cleaning up Gavin's breakfast through my tears.  I couldn't shake the sadness until something on the ceiling caught my eye.  Another ladybug, crawling toward me, in a completely different part of the house.  Thank you, Ty.  You are always with me.  I actually feel a little guilty that Ty is taking care of me now, when I should be taking care of him.  My love.  I know ladybugs are common, but the fact that they are always there when I need them to be is very comforting to me. 

Looking at pictures is another thing I do to help me cope (although it probably hurts more than it helps, I think I need this hurt in order to heal).   It's hard to reflect and remember, but it also makes me beam with pride and gratitude because Ty was just so incredible.  I am so lucky to be his Mommy.  Look at this video.  SuperTy.  What a courageous fighter he was.  Nothing could stop him!

WATCH HERE ON YOUTUBE or click on the picture below to play.


When looking through pictures, Lou also came across this one after I already posted about the marathon.  It is a front shot of him crossing the finish line with Ty in his arms.  I zoomed in as best as I could so you can see just how happy our boy was.  He was so excited!  I love that he is smiling so big and his hat is all crooked.  Just adorable.  Last November and early December were his best months.  He was doing so well, feeling so good, and getting so strong.  Right around Christmas last year is when Ty suffered a post radiation brain bleed that began the downward spiral, but he never let that get him down. 


Ty Louis Campbell is nothing short of awe inspiring.  I'm leaving you with one last picture that was taken just days before he died.  His spirit never faltered.  He never stopped loving life even when his was so very limited.  His story must be told so that he can continue making a difference in the every day lives of others.  Thank you for helping us to do that.  And let's all try to keep smiling in honor of the little boy who did just that. 




112 comments:

  1. I always hang onto your words with such love and admirataion. I cling to them like you cling to Ty. You are still an inspiration. I smile today for Ty, though through tears right now. They will stop, and I will go play with Evan (he is almost 3) and I will hug him and Eddie (5) when he gets home, so tight. Thank you, I can't say it enough. Thank you to Ty, your story keeps enlightening me each day. I can't wait to hear more on the foundation and am looking forward to volunteering or fundraising or something to help you get the word out for all these little ones. God bless today and each day Cindy, Lou and Gavin. xoxo
    Shawna
    Millbrook, NY

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    1. Just like you, I cling to every word, breathless, eventually realizing I must take a breath. It's all so heart breaking and beautiful at the same time but it makes me feel some sort of peace each time I read a new post.
      Rita

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    2. I am also guilty of adoring Cindy and the way she shares Ty with us. Every word is such an amazing tribute. I check for new posts about 5 times a day..and then I read them slowly, cry like a baby, stare at TY's beautiful face and then share the story with as many as I can. WE LOVE U CINDY, TY,LOU & GAVIN!! <3

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    3. I feel the same way - these posts are a treasure and I also cling to each post and feel peace after reading it - what a wonderful way to describe the tribute Cindy continues to share with us. I adore Ty, Cindy and all of the Campbells. Thank you for the video of your beautiful boy walking - he is an amazing and courageous angel...inspiring all of us!! LOVE YOU TY!!! - Lisa

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  2. So happy to hear of signs from Ty❤because of Ty's strength and courage, I see beauty in all things, and love deeper than I never thought possible, I will always believe in miracles! God bless Ty and your amazing family! Xoxo

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  3. The last picture pains me terribly - Ty's smile is so vibrant, it is inconceivable that he was just days away from death. A powerful demonstration that life is what we make of it, until it ends, and not just what we are handed. Despite the cruelty of fate, Ty made so much of his life, of the love his family gave him and of the beautiful body that cancer took from him. I cannot believe he is gone; life is filled with so many deep injustices. The world is so much dimmer without your brilliant smile, baby boy.

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  4. Oh Cindy, it's just impossible to get through your posts without crying, I can only imagine being in your shoes. The video is just beautiful. His smile REALLY IS so infectious, and divine - in the literal sense.
    Of COURSE he's taking care of you now! He is completely surrounded by, and existing as an extension of your love, and the love of SO many thousands of us. HE is the one who is feeling no pain now, and of course he's going to take care of his mommy when he knows that you're the one hurting. Feel confident in his presence. It is real. He is with you, and he always will be.

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  5. When everything in my life seems like its falling apart I think of you. You are such an inspiration on so many levels. Ty was bigger than life. His smile is contagious. Your motivation and strength give me hope. Those ladybugs are Ty but not taking care of you. They are him saying he is ok. Saying he loves you and is so very proud of you. Stay strong.

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  6. You are as usual doing the right and best things! It amazes me how real you are! Now you are the fighter, SuperCindy, fighting for childrens cancer cures and a "normal" life for you! That's what I pray for, you, Lou and Gavin to be happy again, I know it will NEVER be the same. I read a verse the other day I thought of you, it was something about moments in life that are so definative they devide our life into parts..a before and an after event. If you think about it we have so many, before you met Lou, before you had Ty and the all dreaded after Ty had cancer! I suppose all our lives are led this way, some happy befores, some sad afters and many mixtures of the two. My son is a singer song writer, I'm going to give him these thoughts and see what he can do. He just finally got his CD produced and I am so happy for him. He's 42 and the music has always been his dream, he did the normal fantastic money making jobs for a while but his heart was not in it.He's written about 40 songs! Now is the time, I will mail you and Lou a copy, I really think you will enjoy it. Well, you never cease to change my mood, thanks for writing for us to share your ups and downs. I will always cherish Ty as a miracle from God, he has changed me in a way people don't understand! He just stayed so damn sweet!! Love and Prayers, Terri

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  7. He is sooo beautiful and so amazing in every way! I love him so much. Definitely bigger than life, bigger and better than we could ever comprehend!!

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  8. I love that face, he is amazing and I truly believe he is with you all the time. I am so excited for you that you have an office for his foundation! Ty is going to change the world!

    (((Hugs)))
    Joy Marielle
    Baltimore, MD

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  9. He is so gorgeous and I have to admit a kinship to him as one of my twins has that same smile that draws you in, has that adorable quality that makes you just know he's going to grow up to be a knock out. But that also makes it hard for me to read because I can't imagine anything like this happening to either of my babies and it would kill me if it did. Your strength is amazing - you know Ty got that from you!

    I am glad Ty is still checking on you and giving you the lady bugs. Kids worry about their parents, too. I know without a doubt Ty's struggle at the end was not an unwillingness to die but rather not wanting to leave you. I don't say that to make you feel bad so I hope it doesn't. He loves his Mommy and that will never change.

    I am doing my best to help spread this story among my friends and family. It is definitely a story that needs to be told.

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  10. Cindy,

    I am so grateful that you shared Ty's story and life with all of us. I have been thinking about you and your family every day and wish that I was as talented a writer as you are so I could truly express my feelings about what Ty has meant to me and to so many others. His story is not over and I honestly believe that his beautiful spirit will surround you for the rest of your life and allow you to do wonderful things with your foundation in his honor. You are such an inspiration. I have read this blog every day for the last couple of years. I have cried so many times thinking about what you have gone through and looking at the beautiful pictures and stories you have shared of your boy. He really is an amazing gift and soul. I wish that I could have met him. I can't understand the kind of pain that you are going through. It must feel unbearable at times for you but you always write with such dignity and pride for your boy. You always see something positive and I believe that is a special gift. Maybe it is Ty shining through you.

    I will continue to follow your story and your foundation. You have put childhood cancer on my radar for the rest of my life. You have already done amazing things with this blog and I know you will continue to do so. You and Ty.

    I wish you peace and comfort.

    Ann from Buffalo

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    1. Could not have been said better, Ty was a blessing to all.

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  11. You are so inspiring and such a beautiful person that it isn't a stretch to know that you were meant to be Ty's Mommy. I believe a lot of what you love about Ty came from you. I'll continue talking about Ty and I hope that one day Ty's leaving you will not be in vain. That his story will give enough awareness that we can find a cure for childhood cancer. Ty is always with you and my prayers are as well. Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you, Lou and Gavin!

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  12. God Bless you Cindy.. What a beautiful boy. The Campbell's are a true inspiration! You are lived more than you'll ever know and so is Ty. My heart is with you.

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  13. Cindy,
    Thank you for sharing your story will all of us. The courage and strength displayed by your entire family is beyond words. Because of Ty I vow to fight in my own community for prediatric cancer awareness and research. Ty deserves for all of us to do that for him. He's such a sweet special little angel. Hugs to all of you now and always...

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  14. Sarah from ScotlandNovember 14, 2012 at 4:22 PM

    Beautiful, beautiful pictures of your boy! His smile has touched a thousand hearts all over the world, what a boy!

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  15. I’ve been reading about Ty for a very long time. I thought for sure, for sure he would pull through. That he would survive. I was crushed when I read that he was back in the hospital and when you took him home for the last time. I felt the need to write you because as I read your latest entry I could almost feel the absolute crushing grief you must be feeling as you sobbed over the sink.
    Cindy, I need you to know that Ty has forever, forever changed my life. I have a 5 year old son and because of Ty we read more books together, I have more patience with him, we talk more, I shower him with endless kisses and hugs. We randomly tell each other we love each other throughout the day. We say our prayers together, I let him take extra-long showers, we play Star Wars fighter pods together. When he wants to sleep in my bed I let him. I am more present when I am with my son.
    I know that these days of him being so little and innocent are fleeing. Nothing in life is guaranteed.
    I don’t think these words will comfort you but it may help you to know that Ty was here for a reason. I truly believe that with every ounce of my soul. He has taught me so much. My 5 year old will have a better, more loving, present Mom because of Ty.

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    1. No one can understand what this is like for someone like Cindy unless they have gone through it themselves. Its almost insulting to say it.

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  16. Beth Gibson - Beekman, NYNovember 14, 2012 at 4:25 PM

    Cindy - thank you for sharing your beautiful baby boy with us - amazing things will happen because of Ty Louis Campbell. Sending the Campbell family much peace and strength....



    Cancer is so limited.
    It cannot destroy love.
    It cannot shatter hope.
    It cannot corrode faith.
    It cannot destroy people
    It cannot kill friendships.
    It cannot suppress memories.
    It cannot silence courage.
    It cannot invade the soul.
    It cannot steal eternal life.
    It cannot conquer the spirit.
    - Huntsman Cancer Institute

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  17. I think about you daily. Ty stole my heart. Thank you for sharing him with us. I am a better person because of Ty. I tell his story to everyone. I've written to companies trying to get special things done in his honor. I miss him terribly, and I know that sounds silly because I didn't personally know Ty...but through your blog I loved him. I still do.

    There has been a lady bug in my house for two days now. Everytime I thought of Ty, that ladybug appeared. I smiled and whispered, "hi Ty!."

    Thinking of you and your family always xoxoxo

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  18. Ty is just amazing. I love seeing the pictures you post. I think of his beautiful smile throughout my day. Even the pictures of Ty as a baby, there is something incredible about that smile.

    I think about you so much and worry about you getting through your day. I'm so happy Ty is sending you some comfort and watching over you. You have the most beautiful guardian angel in heaven.

    Congratulations on the new space for the foundation. I'm sure Ty is so proud of his mama. Sending you, Ty, Lou and Gavin my love.

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  19. It is SO HARD to read your posts and look at the pictures without crying. Thank you so much for sharing Ty with us. Your strength and courage is amazing - no doubt he got it from you! I, like many others, are committed to raising awareness about this horrible disease and willing to help out in any way. For your sweet angel, ALWAYS FOR SUPERTY!

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  20. i am now 26 year old mother of two with a little boy on the way. I read your blog everyday since a few days before your angel passed away. i cant even begin to understand what you are going through, the day ty passed away i was very upet. even though i dont know you or your family it touched my heart in a way that i cant even explain. i sat awake that night thinking about you and what you muct be going through, i would look at my kids and just adore them a little bit more. i feel as if i know you and we never met. your story has forever changed my world. i had my first child at 19 and 10 months later my second was born and i thought it was the hardest thing in the world and sometimes i was not sure if i regreted my children for that reason, you have made me love life so much more. you are truly my insperation!

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  21. That video touched me very deeply. I'm so so sad. Much love to you guys.

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  22. Oh Cindy, if only we could all be more like you, the world would be a better place. Your courage and grace are truly amazing. Ty is terribly missed by so many. He had the same beauty and courage as the rest of your family. I have to say maybe its a California thing but I hardly ever see lady bugs so the fact that you are seeing so many, must be Ty. Much love!

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  23. He is an amazing boy because he has amazing and loving parents!!! The love we give and recieve is all that matters and all we remember. Suffering disappears; Love remains.
    All Ty remembers now is the love of his precious family. He is with you helping you heal. You will heal
    xoxo

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  24. Oh how I love that little boy, what a sight to see the video of him walking-you can see how proud he was of himself, rightfully so.

    I'm so glad those "Ty" ladybugs are bringing you comfort, I think Ty will always give you signs, just keep your eyes open and believe.

    The front view picture of Lou and Ty is really amazing, Ty is just beaming, what an angel he is.

    And the last pic you posted of Ty is heavenly-it's unreal that he was days from passing away and he is as pure and beautiful as ever in that photo (and in all your photos of him).

    When I look at his pictures and read about Ty, he just does something to my heart that only my own children do to me. I love that little man and miss him. Thank you for continuing to share with us, you make my day when I go on this site and see an update has been posted. I don't want to "lose" Ty, your blogs keep him alive. I'm so, so sorry for your grief, there are no words for it. It is no consolation but please know that this world adores your magical son Ty, and the rest of your family. I wish I could save you from your pain.
    Keep up the good work SuperMom!

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  25. Cindy, I can't imagine what you are going through. Ty had the best mommy, and so does Gavin! I cry everytime I read your posts. Ty's pictures and videos are awe inspiring!
    He truly is my hero.
    Kathy, Philadelphia

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  26. Love this video!! So special!! Your family has stolen my heart!!!

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  27. Cindy, i am so proud of you and I see why Ty was such a fighter,great parents = great kids. Keep doing what you are doing and I'm sure it will help you at all times. Please keep posting, Brian and I are always following your story and will always be there for you. Gavin is such a great kid that we can't wait to meet him one day..... Have a great night and hope tomorrow moring you will see another ladybug morning.... :)
    Maria Savlick

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  28. Thank you for sharing that video! I never had the blessing of meeting Ty, so seeing him in video absolutely melts my heart. I just love him. He changed my life. Thank you.

    The day after you first posted about the ladybugs back in October, I got in my car after reading your blog (running out to drop off my 4 year old at preschool) and a ladybug flew in my car. My vision was blurry from my tears, but I watched as it flew in and sat right down on my dashboard. Right on the edge, in the center. Weeks later it's still there and I just can't bring myself to remove it from my car. Silly, I know. I didn't even know Ty, but I so believe in the goodness and greatness of his spirit that I believe he might have sent that ladybug to comfort me, a perfect stranger. With all the lives Ty has changed, he must be busy up there spreading his love and comfort to us all. What a truly amazing child. And I love what the previous person said above...well done, "SuperMom".

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  29. Beautiful video of Ty. God Bless you and your family

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  30. You are amazing! Thank you for sharing your journey. I do everything I can to spread awareness about pediatric cancer....because of kids like Ty. It's just heartbreaking that children and families have to go through this. Keep us posted on Ty's Foundation.....I'll be a lifetime supporter:) God bless.

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  31. Cindy I have written to you only once but not a day goes by that I don't open your blog and o read and keep reading about Ty and your family. Your words are beautifully written and your suffering and Ty's suffering bring bring me to tears every time. I think your honesty in what you are feeling makes me appreciate what I have as I cannot begin to think that I understand what you went through and are going through. Tonight while my 7 yr old and I were waiting on my daughter we ran the track together and did sit-ups. After each sit up we kissed each other and it was wonderfully giggly and fun. There are no books that can make me feel the way your blog makes me feels toward my children. I am finally learning that I need to live in the moment. It is hard for me to comprehend that your life has helped me in this way but it has. I think about your family constantly and wished and prayed that there would be a miracle. I am so so sorry. Keep on looking out for those ladybugs and keep on kissing that sweet baby Gavin!!!! And of course Lou. I will keep reading and keep believing. Peace

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  32. The video made me smile and cry at the same time. Ty has changed so many lives....I see life soo differently now. I value the simpler things more so than ever! I think of Ty so often which amazes me how much a little boy I never met impacted my life. I wanted sooo badly for him to get better and I get angry wondering why. I get angry for you!! I wish there was a way to rewind time so you could have Ty in your arms and not be feeling this pain that you are tormented with and then I think of how many lives Ty has touched, and brought together to fight and I realize that he must have been brought here to be a real life angel cause he truly was. His smile and soul captured the love of many! His undying spirit, courage and strength while going through the hardest of times gave strength a new meaning to everyone!! He taught strangers to slow down and value the simpler things in life... he truly was brought into this world as an angel. Tonite when I picked up my 3 yr old...before we got into the car to leave to come home...
    There was a puddle in the driveway. I stopped and said to my little man....hey...lets jump in the puddle and there we were playing together in a little puddle with thoughts of Ty on my mind. Thank You Cindy for sharing your son and his story because he has made an amazing difference for so many lives! Ty is always with you, sending you signs, taking care of his momma, letting you know he's all around you. Continue to feel peace in that to help you heal!

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  33. Love the video, and especially the photo. There is no coincidence with those ladybugs.

    Mahopac Father

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  34. I love your stories about the ladybugs & Ty. It brings tears to my eyes in a comforting way. Ty will always be with you, he will always be a part of you. And as you go forth on this journey of life without you son, it is something no mother, no child should ever have to experience. But you will and are making a difference in this world by sharing Ty's story. And as a mom i thank you for that. Xoxo

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  35. I think u need a ladybug tattoo! <3 ~lora

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  36. I want to smile but I just cry. I cry over Th. it's not fair he didn't make it and it's so unbelievable that he smiled thru it all. I wish I could have saved him. I wish the cure would have been his Christmas gift. Oh how he deserved it. But I know you are everywhere Ty taking care of your mommy and of your daddy and of your precious brother Gavin. You were amazing then and you are even more amazing now.

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  37. I love all the beautiful pictures you are posting of Ty and I LOVE that he sends you ladybugs when you need them most! I only started following your blog relatively recently, but Ty's story captured me, and I felt compelled to read your blog from the very beginning. I read through a month or two's worth of posts a night, always crying as I do, and always amazed by your unwavering fatih. I feel as though I already know how the movie, but as I watch it from the beginning I am praying that it will end differently. I am comforted by your beautiful words, "Just because he wasn't healed, doesn't mean we didn't all witness a miracle." How very true indeed.

    I wanted to tell you about I day I had recently, where I am certain Ty was watching over my son. It was Sunday, October 28, the day before the hurricane. My almost-2-year old son had an ear infection and I had to give him his antibiotic, a liquid that had to be syringed into his mouth. I unwrapped a brand-new sterile syringe that the pediatrician gave us. As I squirted the medicine into my son's mouth, I realized a plastic piece of the syringe had come loose and was in my son's mouth. In a panic I tried to retrieve it, but only succeeding in pushing it further down his throat and he began to choke on it. I started screaming and my husband ran in the room, reached into my son's mouth and pulled out the piece of plastic (about the size of a marble). I said to my husband that I felt that Ty was an angel watching over our son, and he agreed (I've been sharing Ty's story with him). Later that same day, my beautiful little baby niece (and now Goddaughter), was being Baptized. During the service, the Deacon was talking about saints, and explaining the difference between saint with a lowercase s and Saint with an uppercase S. All Christians in heaven are saints with a lowercase s. Uppercase means that they have official recognition from the church. He began to name some Saints we've all heard of and then asked if we knew of saint campbell, with a lowercase s? I almost fell off the pew! It turns out the Deacon's last name is Campbell and he was referring to his mother in heaven. But I know that Ty was also making sure we realize that there is another little "saint campbell" up there as well!

    Cindy, thank you for sharing your life with us. Thank you for keeping Ty's memory alive. You are a wonderful mother. Keep a watch out for more ladybugs from little saint campbell. I will continue to pray for you and your family always.

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  38. Cindy- I think of you and Lou, Gavin, and most of all Ty every single day. I feel like I truly know you. I cry so hard for you and what Ty went through. I'm so sorry. You inspire me, and Ty inspires me. I had a dream about Ty watching over you last night. He was giggling and bouncing from cloud to cloud with the biggest smile ever and a blue "bank" loli-pop in each hand. I said "Hi Ty! Whatcha doin?"...He replied " I'm being the bestest guardian angel for my mommy and daddy and Gavin. I have to keep sending my mommy signs to let her know I will always be with her and she's in my heart". I just wanted you to know. I woke up with a smile. I wish I could hug you. I will keep spreading the word about pediatric cancer and Superty. I am buying gold shoelaces for my friends and family this weekend to honor Ty and spread awareness. <3 Liz Collins

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  39. A poem I found that I can imagine Ty writing because he was a little jokester. Not that this is a funny poem,but at tge end it made me smile.
    Ask My Mom How She Is

    My mom,she tells a lot of lies,
    She nevrr did before.
    But from now until she dies,
    Shell tell a whole lot more.

    Ask my Mom how she is
    And because she can't explain,
    She will tell a little life
    Because she can't describe her pain.

    Ask my Mom how she is
    She will say "I'm alright."
    If that's the truth, then tel me.
    Why does she cry each night?

    Ask my Mom how she is
    She seems to coffee so well.
    She didn't have a choice you see,
    Nor the strength to yell.

    Ask my Mom how she is
    I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping
    For Godsake Mom, just tell the truth,
    Just say your heart is broken.

    She'll love me all of her lift,
    I loved her all of mine
    But if you ask her how she is
    She'll life and say she's fine.

    I am here in Heaven
    I can not hug from her I
    If she lures too you, don't listen
    Hug Herr and hold her near

    On the day we met again
    We'll smile and I'll be bold
    I'll say"you're lucky to get in here,
    Mom, with all the lies you told!"

    then his smile will appear with that giggle of his:)

    In my thoughts and prayers.

    ,

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  40. What an awesome video!! Ty is simply beautiful :) And his strength and smiles are with me everyday since I first saw his precious face and it will remain til the day I die. He's absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to forget. God Bless your precious family.

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  41. In such a short video the love that your family has for one another is evident! Your boy is so loved and was so blessed that God gave him you both as parents, as much as he is a blessing to you both, you were a blessing to him. I cannot image what you are going through, but I am praying for you! Today I was very short with my 4 yr old and got angry at the smallest things, this makes me remember to put things in perspective and to not mind the little things that, but embrace them, and love on them as much as I possibly can, so thank you for that! Thank you for posting and for being so raw.

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  42. Dear Cindy...

    This song remind me of you...and your belowed Ty.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9jUnOVQdhYs

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  43. It's impossible to forget Ty. Thank you for sharing and celebrating his life with us.
    We miss him so much too.

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  44. You had me in tears Cindy, that is a beautiful post. I'm 100% sure that Ty is always there and he always will be :)

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  45. I love Ty!!!!!
    He is soooooo totally awesome!!! :)
    I love Gavin just as much.
    Keep your boys in your heart always Cindy!!!

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  46. Big GIANT SuperTy hugs for you today Cindy. The photos take my breath away like so many. Stay strong. Your beautiful boy is with you always.
    Chris, NY

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  47. Crying is good and what you need to do right now to grieve. You probably feel utterly exhausted after intense crying bouts, but hopefully a little better? I think that's where the term having a "good cry" comes from.

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  48. Ty's story will live on because of people like me who fell in love with him thru your words. "Inspirational" hardly does justice to the way that I feel about SuperTy, everyday, day in and day out. I LOVE YOU TY LOUIS CAMPBELL!!!! I carry you with me in my heart and I will never stop telling your story and spreading the word <3

    All my love ALWAYS,
    Elaine Hinkle

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  49. This was beautiful. I love that last pic. we all love u Ty. <3

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  50. Cindy, you had mentioned that you thought seeing the ladybugs is fairly commoon. I just want you to know that as a fellow Pawling resident, I haven't seen a single ladybug all year. So the fact that you have seen them at such opportune times is definitely a sign from your son. He is truly with you!!!

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  51. Cindy, I read every single one of your posts and check everyday for updates. Odd that I would only put this together now-- but the day that Ty passed, my thoughts were absolutely consumed with it all day. At one point that day, I was alone in my parked car and looked over to see a ladybug crawling along the inside of the driver's side window. I remember just staring at it and actually feeling a bit of peace for a moment. I can honestly say that my ladybug sightings are rare...so this definitely stood out. Thank you, Super Ty.

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  52. Hi Cindy,
    Glad that Gavin is doing well.. TY left such a big mark in life in his short time and though all the bad things there was lots of love...always lots of love
    There is no easy way to grieve... we grieve with you..... Debbie Ty is with you always..

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    1. What a beautiful photo of you and Ty in the Poughkeepsie Journal this morning, Cindy. I can just see the love pouring out of both you! I can't tell you how much I admire your courage and grace and thank you for sharing it with all of us. Our heartfelt prayers and love go with you and the entire Campbell family in all that you do!

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  53. Morning,

    Thank you for sharing your beautiful & heartfelt journey I loved the video of Ty !

    Ty is my hero ! Ty's courage & determination was amazing. Ty's courage & positive spirits are an inspiration for everyone. Ty will always have a very special place in my heart.

    My continued thoughts & prayers are with you & all of your family.

    God Bless.

    - Rob Swan

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  54. We're all here for you Cindy.....The funniest thing happened while I was typing this. I was watching a movie I'd never seen and all of a sudden a big ladybug crawled across the mans desk in the film. I laughed. Your ladybug is watching you. He can hear you and see you.....

    Devon

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  55. Cindy,

    Ladybugs aren't THAT common right now. Don't take them for granted... Ty is continuing to send you his love, as I am sure he will do in many different ways over the years.

    I hope you take comfort in those signs, and in the extensive ways that your beautiful Ty has touched all of us. I continue to be inspired by all of you, and I'm getting so much pleasure hearing about little Gavin and his adventures. Ty definitely lives on in his baby brother.

    Much Love,

    Janah Angelou

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  56. I live just up the road in Poughquag and I keep seeing hawks. Every time I see one I think of your beautiful boy.

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  57. Thank for sharing Ty with all of us. He inspires me! I am so sorry that he isn't with you in body any more, but he is clearly with you in spirit. The love you have for him will never be lost. Sending you thoughts of love and calm from Seattle.
    -Daniella

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  58. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  59. Cindy - I was wondering if you had the Ty Louis Campbell Foundation registered with EBAY. Sellers can donate a portion of their sales (10-100%) to the foundation. Just a thought. Glad the office is up and running, congratulations! -Shannon from Brewster

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  60. Constantly thinking of you and your family. Missing Ty so much. My 4 year old is wearing a tie today and said "I wonder if Ty likes ties". They think of him too. What a spirit he has...
    Jennifer in NC

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  61. What a proud moment for Lou to cross that line with Ty in his arms. Beautiful!!!
    Much Love,
    Taciani

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  62. I am thinking of you this morning. I hate to think of the loneliness and sadness that you feel returning to your home after dropping Gavin off at school. I love that you see signs of Ty especially when you need it most. What an incredible son he is!!
    I think about Ty every morning since you shared the story of him putting the "lub" in your coffee. I think about him so many times each day - his stories, your stories have helped me to take a little more time with each of my children, I look more deeply into their eyes, listen more intently, laugh more often and am trying to enjoy the limited time that I have with them each day. I am so grateful to you and Ty for this, I think that my children are too.
    Sending you warm thoughts and prayers that you may find some peace today.

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  63. Thank you for sharing your story and continuing to update your blog. Ty was amaing and clearly is still working in this world. I am sure his foundation will do wonderful things.

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  64. Oh my gosh Ty is so incredibly precious! I adore that video of him walking. God only knows why this happens to these precious children. My heart melts with every picture and/or video of lil Ty. I admire you and your familys strength. I think of lil Ty everyday and I pray for you and your family as well as all the other familys going through this. I beleive something has to happen, there has to be a cure for this more than disgusting disease. I pray everyday for a cure for childhood cancer and I tell everyone about precious lil Ty. I cannot and will not stop spreading his story. Thank you for your daily posts, as usual they are beautiful. I love lil Ty!!!

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  65. Oh Cindy, it breaks my heart. I have to hold my tears because I'm at the office... I always think of you and Ty. My little boy asked me the other day if he could see pictures of Ty, so cute! As you said before, you will always carry Ty's heart until the day when you meet again. Lots of love for you, Lou and Gavin. You are amazing parents and Gavin is blessed to have you as his mommy! Keep writing and send us a smile :)

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  66. Oh Cindy I LOVE that video of Ty - what a brave, strong, beautiful boy!! Watching him break out in to a smile during that walk might be the best thing I've seen ever and although the tears are pouring down my face and I am so sad he is gone, I am so grateful to have seen that smile. I am guessing that is Lou videotaping - when he says I love you so much, - well I think I just fell in love with your husband a little bit! Of course that pic of Lou and Ty crossing the finish line at the marathon made me love him even more. You are a lucky lady to have such incredible guys in your life - Lou, Ty, Gavin - but of course you are such an incredible woman that's why these incredible guys are in your world.

    And those lady bugs are definitely Ty letting you know he's there with you and you know he wants to take care of you the way you've always done for him and continue to do! They are NOT common - I never see ladybugs here on LI so it makes me believe even more that it's Ty watching over you.

    Sending hugs and love to you all. SuperTy ALWAYS and FOREVER!!

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  67. What a wonderful video! I look forward to your post to see how your doing. I was telling my mom yesterday, about Ty and your journal, and I started to cry, right in the middle of Taco Bell. My heart just breaks for you and whenever I think about what your doing thru, I just say to myself, 'why do these things happen?" Prayers your way..... Betty

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  68. Cindy - I love the video of Ty so much. That smile...sheesh he melts my heart each time. I love for the seconds watching the video -- his life and his spirit are still there for all of us to see. He is something special!
    Hugs to you all.
    Laura

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  69. That video is so wonderful!!! His smile was so beautiful, he was so proud of himself walking! Thank you so much for sharing this. The photo of Lou and Ty is wonderful too...so happy! To repeat many others who have posted here, I may have never met Ty in person but I love him - his story has impacted my life in many ways and I am so grateful. Cindy, you have such amazing grace, I am inspired by you as well as sweet Ty. The ladybugs are NOT a coincidence...Ty is with you! Many hugs to you, Lou and Gavin...thank you again for sharing your story. I am looking forward to ordering some SuperTy shirts soon!!
    - Lisa

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  70. Cindy: Thanks for the update. That last picture of Ty smiling was what I needed to brighten my day. Oh my, nobody comes close to such a heartwarming smile. As far as the ladybugs go, they must be Ty sending you his love. I haven't seen one all year!!!! Maybe they hate the hot Texas weather. Send one my way, Ty! I would love to see your spirit here. The video of Ty walking is amazing. What a valiant and courageous boy he was. I am so happy about your foundation. You are a wonderful woman, Cindy. Ty was very blessed to have you as his mother. I love that boy so much. I love you all and Gavin, too!!

    Laura in Texas

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  71. The tears do not stop. Ive never felt such a deep pain and sadness in my heart. I wanted so badly for Ty to have 1 more miracle. From the pictures and videos, Ty just had that special spark and magnetism that drew you in. He will be the face that everyone remembers and will fight for. He will be the reason children in the future will not have to suffer and can be saved. I truly feel that in my heart. When I read the news of Ty's passing I immediately thought of this song. It is hauntingly beautiful. It is RyanDans 'Tears of An Angel'

    Cover my eyes
    Cover my ears
    Tell me these words are a lie
    It cant be true
    That I'm losing you
    The sun cannot fall from the sky

    Can you hear heaven cry
    Tears of an angel
    Tears of aaaaaaaa...
    Tears of an angel
    Tears of an angel.

    Stop every clock
    Stars are in shock
    The river will flow to the sea
    I wont let you fly
    I wont say goodbye
    I wont let you slip away from me

    Can you hear heaven cry
    Tears of an angel
    Tears of aaaaaaaa...
    Tears of an angel
    Tears of an angel.

    So hold on
    Be strong
    Everyday on we'll go
    I'm here, dont you fear

    Little one dont let go
    (ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh)
    Dont let go
    (ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh)
    Dont let go
    (ooooooooooohhhhhhhhh)

    Cover my eyes
    Cover my ears
    Tell me these words are a lie

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  72. I was just watching Ty's video again and couldn't hold the tears.
    Taciani

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  73. There is just something so freaking angelic about this child. It jumps out at you, his eyes, his smile. The video I resisted, until I couldnt resist anymore because I thought it would hurt. But to hear and see all the love in that room towards him..he was and is soooo loved. What a blessing that he felt all that love. Some people go thru their whole lives never feeling an ounce of that adorement. It warms my heart that he knew that love. And I know love like that never dies. Life is short as you know, my great aunt just passed away at 94, she said you know Jess it goes quick, real quick. She was looking forward to being with her husband and one of her daughters. She would look up at the ceiling and say What God Im not good enough for you, what are you waiting for? Take me home! And at last he did. And I was happy for her, to be reunited with her loves. My son wants a Superty shirt, let us know when they are available for purchase! I want one too. When we wash our car this weekend I am going to write SUPERTY.org on our back window in window marker to spread awareness. Why because you made us all fall in love with him, or he did. But either way we do. And always will. Thinking of you and Lou and Gavin.

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  74. I ALLOWED MY CHILDREN TO PLAY IN THE PUDDLES THE OTHER DAY... I EVEN GOT TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF AS MY ELDEST (4 YEARS OLD) laid down in the puddle..THANK YOU... YOUR FAMILY IS A BLESSING

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  75. Thank you for sharing Ty with us. I have started to comment everyday but just never really know what to say. Words don't do justice. But last night my 3 year old Noah was clinging to my legs asking me to hold him while I cooked dinner. I stopped everything to pick him up. Whenever he asks for something I think of Ty asking and how you would give anything for him to ask that now.

    As I picked him up he pointed straight up to the ceiling and said momma look! It was a ladybug above my head at the stove. I had not noticed it until then. I just wanted to cry. I held Noah closer as he said " he might fall momma". I said no he won't. His legs are so strong. I pictured Ty with his strong legs now. I have only seen stink bugs here in Tennessee all year. Not one ladybug.

    I then check your post today and it's titled look up for ladybugs. Really???? Just amazing. My mom always tells me things like that are little hugs from God.

    I have only been reading your blog since about 10 days before Ty passed. I have been so moved by his story and him! What dn amazingly beautiful child. I tell everyone I can about SuperTy and your story. Your whole family is doing amazing things. I cry everytime I read or see a picture. You have also helped me a better and more patient mom to my two boys. They are 3 and 2.

    They wanted to swim a couple weeks ago. It was 60 degrees out and cloudy. But I filled up the kiddie pool one warm pitcher full at a time on the deck and they had a glorious 15 minutes. I thought of Ty in the big tub with you holding his hand so he could hold his toy. You Cindy are amazing.

    Thank you for sharing. I will keep sharing too. Love from Knoxville TN.

    Mistie

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  76. I found this website for Ty several months ago and have followed your posts since then. You see, my nephew also had a brain tumor and I helped take care of him after surgery. My brother and sister-in-law are parents just like you and Lou....phenomenal. I am a nurse and felt compelled to take a leave from work to help them out. As I read your posts over the last year I recalled so many of the same feelings. However the memories of looking into my nephews eyes on a minute by minute...sometimes hour to hour basis told the real story. It's as if my nephew and I had long conversations when our eyes met. It has been almost 14 years and I could still almost draw the vivid details down to the many different shades of blue, variations of lines, hues of sparkle, and how long...very long his lashes were. I think I could have kept a diary just describing our conversations with our eyes. I bet you could too. I think my nephew looked forward to our speechless moments.

    It's been many years since our family survived through this nearly unbearable journey and all I can say is each and every day no matter what your feel, you are "right where you are suppose to be." It took all the moments of despair both during and after, the moments we felt like we were dying of despair to get us to the point today where we are able to feel a sense of peace most of the time. Hugs :)

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  77. Ty never ceases to amaze and inspire me. He makes my heart sing even through the tears. He is simply Awesome!

    Last Sat I'm driving north on 22 almost to Patterson Auto Body and I look up briefly and see a beautiful hawk fly over and land in the tree tops! A comforting feeling surrounds me and huge smile takes over my face and silently, I say, "Hello Ty."

    Then, today, I'm driving to work, down 684 (right around Salinger's orchard) , and I look up for just a brief second and there's a big handsome hawk right there sitting in the tree top! Totally made my morning, heck, my whole day! When I look up -- I'm seeing these majestic glorious hawks! Such a welcomed, comforting, inspiring sight. And it also seems like we've been sent these gorgeous golden sunsets lately, too. They are just breathtaking and always make me think of SuperTy and the battle against pediatric cancer.

    I think of all of you so often and I find myself at times silently talking to Ty. Mainly I ask him to take care of you and your family. To give you a sign and some peace. To help you heal. And Ty is still 'schoolin' me... Last night as my little guy (who's five) was pleading to sleep in his Dino sleeping bag instead of his bed --and I was harrumphing 'cause I was about to fall asleep standing up and had so many other things I had to do before I could crawl under my covers-- I suddenly stopped when these reminding thoughts rushed into my head: that all-to-soon he won't want to do this kind of stuff anymore, all-to-soon he'll be too big to even fit in the bag, and all-to-soon he won't even want to give me a hug. The smile on his face when I said, "ok- yes-why not?!" was Ty's doing. I'm enjoying the moment -- thanks to Cindy and Ty -- the dynamic duo. Thank you for continuing to share yourself with us, to share Ty, and to fight for awareness and a cure. xoxo

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  78. Cindy, I can take care of your furniture needs!. I will be in touch in the next few days.
    Emily,
    Hoboken :)

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  79. Jennifer Russo, Lake Grove, NYNovember 16, 2012 at 12:20 AM

    Thank you for sharing the video of Ty. I could watch it over and over again. I just shake my head though and say "why?" I just don't understand how he can be gone. My heart breaks for you, Lou and Gavin.
    The picture of Ty is just beautiful. Always that gorgeous smile to make his precious face even cuter. Hugs to you Cindy always!! I agree what people wrote on here. Super Ty's mom is Super Cindy!! You are an inspiration to us all.
    -Jennifer

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  80. Cindy, As everyone says. We are so sorry *I am listening to YELLOW. Thinking about your family.

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  81. I'm so sorry Cindy, it's just not fair. You and your beautiful boy are so very inspiring. I can only aspire to be as brave and strong and positive and loving as you all.

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  82. Dear Cindy,

    Your posts are so touching and amazing. I am inspired by your every thought and word. I check daily to hear how you and your family are doing. Ty's story has changed my life. It would take a novel to tell you in how many ways. Thanks to you, lovely you and Lou for sharing Ty's story. I hope you know how deeply you have reached those of us whom you haven't even met. I still cry often when I think of Ty but I am also so inspired... that I end up smiling, thinking of your words and Ty's courage and infectious smile. Wow. The Campbell family is clearly a super hero family.

    As a mom of some littles... I remember your words often and now I do give five more minutes... and the other day after the rain we passed a giant puddle on our way to run a ton of errands... and my son went for it... and I let him! I thought of Ty and I just enjoyed that moment so much. Thank you.

    I don't often see ladybugs where I live but when I see another... well... I can't wait!

    Mary - Manhattan Beach, CA

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  83. I have never commented before but I felt the need to write and say i am praying for you. Looking at your pictures he is so sweet and always smiling. I treasure the time with my kids and don't sweat the small stuff anymore cause you just never know.

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  84. As a mother of two babies, I cannot fathom the insurmountable grief you are feeling.. I find myself crying each night when I pray for you, Lou, Gavin and the rest of your family..I am so so sorry..please know that you and Ty have made a huge impact on my life!!! I am a better Mom because of you.. I linger with each hug, kiss and reflect constantly on how wonderful it is to be their Mommy..THANK YOU.. Please be good to yourself!! I will continue to keep you in my prayers..

    Love,
    Gabrielle

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  85. So many times I've wanted to comment on your blog, but I don't know where to start. Today I just want to say, I love Ty, so very much. I think of him every single day.

    His time in this physical world was short, but his spiritual work has only just begun. We may never be able to understand why he was handed this fate, and right now it all seems so unfair.

    But I know without a doubt that only his body has died, his beautiful soul is alive and well. Ty has this incredible energy, his spirit, his essence--it's so unique, special, powerful and strong, and is touching so many other lives, changing the world.

    I have been blessed with the ability to connect with people that have passed on in my dreams. Very often they come to me shortly after their passing and explain that they have a mission to go on--sort of like a job. Always, they are very excited when conveying this to me, as if they're heading for the most exciting trip of their lives and cannot wait to get started. Though Ty has not come to me in my sleep (yet), I can so vividly picture him being giddy with excitement and anticipation about the job and mission he will be given in the spiritual world. I just know he will be doing great things--HUGE things. He is THAT special of a soul.

    Love, strength, and comfort to your family Cindy.

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    1. Such a nice post, hope it brings comfort to Cindy!

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    2. I agree Christine D. that this is a nice post. Teapea - I hope you share with us when and if Ty does visit you in your dreams. Not only would you be helping Cindy, Lou and Gavin but you would also be helping the rest of us that are heartbroken as well.

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  86. Cindy, Lou & Gavin, I just love seeing Ty again in the video. His little hands in yours, right where they should be now. I know you are having a hard time. We all miss him along with you. I loved that little guy I never met. I am glad that you have the comforting signs from Ty. He knows how much you need his signs of love. What a special child. Sending you love and prayers. We will always love Ty. Christine, OH

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  87. I love the video. What a beautiful smile. I believe that Ty is always with you and the ladybugs are a beautiful way for him to show you just that.

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  88. Morning,

    The video is fantastic ! Ty's courage, determination & grit is readily apparent in the video - along with Ty's awesome smile.

    Ty is my hero & he will always have a very special place in my heart.

    I am thrilled that you are opening up an office & will continue to be an advocate & a voice for increased awareness of & funding for pediatric cancer research.

    Please count me in with this effort.

    My continued thoughts & prayers are with you & all of your efforts.

    God Bless.

    - Rob Swan

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    1. " SuperTy " - that name describes Ty !!

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    2. My continued thoughts & prayers are with " SuperTy " & all of his family.

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  89. I thought this poem was beautiful. Ty is forever in my heart

    Daddy, please don't look so sad,
    Mama please don't cry
    Cause I am in the arms of Jesus
    and He sings me lullabies.
    Please, try not to question God,
    Don't think he is unkind
    Don't think He sent me to you,
    and then He changed his mind.
    You see, I am a special child,
    and I'm needed up above
    I'm the special gift you gave Him,
    the product of your love.
    I'll always be there with you
    and watch the sky at night,
    Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
    That's my halo's brilliant light.
    You'll see me in the morning frost,
    that mists your window pane.
    That's me in the summer showers,
    I'll be dancing in the rain.
    When you feel a little breeze,
    from a gentle wind that blows
    That's me, I'll be there,
    planting a kiss on your nose.
    When you see a child playing,
    and your heart feels a little tug,
    That's me, I'll be there,
    giving your heart a hug.
    So Daddy, please don't look so sad,
    Mama don't your cry.
    I'm in the arms of Jesus
    and He sings me lullabies

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  90. you are so strong and amazing. Ty is so very proud of you.

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  91. Beautiful post, Cindy. Just as Ty will always be with you, you will always be a wonderful mom to him. Even though you can't see him or touch him, you are honoring him every minute of every day. You are a GREAT mom and I know he's pleased as can be about all the wonderful things you're doing in his memory. God bless you!

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  92. I so love seeing all the smiling pictures of Ty and the video is inspiring!You were indeed lucky to get the chance to be his Mommy and share his wonderful spirit!Thank you again for sharing it all with us and becoming part of our lives.I hope you keep seeing all those lady bugs and believing that Ty is there for you.He knows you did all you could to help him and now he wants to help you,let him.God bless you all...Jean <3

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  93. I love that he was always smiling, and especially love that he was smiling in the video, even through his struggles. What an incredible boy you have to hold in your hearts forever. He truly is my inspiration.

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  94. I love love that video. How blessed you are to be his mommy. Sending you hugs from Fishkill..I hope your family is enjoying the weekend together. P.S. Cry...it's good for the soul.

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  95. I work in a high rise office bldg in NYC - the other day by our plants I saw a ladybug moving along - I gently placed it back amongst the plants in the pot of a giant tree. I thought of your Ty.

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  96. That video made me smile as big as if I were watching my own child. Love it!

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  97. "What moves through us is a silence, a quiet sadness, a longing for one more day, one more word, one more touch, we may not understand why you left this earth so soon, or why you left before we were ready to say good-bye, but little by little, we begin to remember not just that you died, but that you lived. And that your life gave us memories too beautiful to forget"

    I found this quote and thought of you and Ty immediately. I think about him every day. You inspire me with your strength Cindy, and SuperTy has forever changed my life. I can't express enough how inspirational you all are...thank you for sharing this with us. I saw Jamie this past weekend and all we could talk about is you, Lou, Gavin, and, of course Ty and how you all have inspired us more than words can possibly express. Love to you all.

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